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Sunday, 28 October 2007

The Greatest Joy

I knew this week was going to be big.

Monday the 22nd seems so long ago. I had a full day at work, visiting over 15 trainees for their Frontline Management training. I have a good job. I am so grateful for it. But on Monday I was wishing I didn’t have to work because of the enormous assignment I had to complete. The day went well and I arrived home from work at around 5.30pm. After a brief catch-up with the family I left for uni.

Dinner Monday night was eaten in front of the computer at uni. I arrived just after 6pm and snacked on chocolate liquorice bullets while I worked. Hardly nutritious, but very quick and convenient!

It was close to 1am Tuesday morning when I finally turned the computer off and headed for home. My day was almost done. Kylie had left some dinner in the fridge for me which I enjoyed, before going to bed around 1.30am. It was one of the biggest days I have had to do since being a student, and it came in the last week of my degree! But it felt great to finally complete the assessment on Tuesday evening and prepare it for handing in, on time.

Wednesday I drove to Ipswich and ran a Frontline Management training course for 10 trainees, then handed in my assignment at uni. My last one! That felt good. All I have to do now is prepare for my final exam in mid-November and it is all finished. Wednesday arvo was pretty simple. Mowing, cleaning, and getting ready for the weekend. I was really looking forward to Thursday though.

Chanel had been looking forward to Thursday more than me. We were going to Wet ‘n Wild, a theme park with huge waterslides to ride all day. Chanel had won our tickets by raising more money for her school spell-a-thon fundraising efforts than anyone else. We arrived just after 10am. The crowd was small. It was a perfect, sunny day. Chanel looked nervous about the rides. We went on a couple of smaller ones which Chanel decided were “boring”. So we headed for the big ones. Chanel was barely tall enough to get beyond the height restrictions, but barely tall enough was enough.

Tornado, Mach 5, Jet Stream and Black Hole were the names of the rides. They were big, and I was certain that Chanel would not want to go near them. To the contrary, it seemed that the bigger and more thrill-filled the ride, the more likely it was that Chanel wanted to go on it. In fact, Chanel enjoyed some of the thrill rides more than me!

Because the crowd was small we didn’t have to line up long for rides. In fact, most of the time we were able to get straight on. This would normally be terrific, but at Wet ‘n Wild I have to wonder. Every ride requires that the rider climb stairs – hundreds of stairs! I would be understating, quite conservatively, if I suggested that we climbed 10 000 stairs on Thursday. But the rides were fun, and Chanel was in her element. By the time we got to 1pm I was in pain. My legs have not worked so hard in over a decade! I loved theme parks as a child, and I never remember coming home thinking, “Gee that was fun, but wow my legs are sore.” Aging changes our perspective a little.

By the time Chanel and I walked out of the park, at 5pm, we were both in pain. We had walked miles, climbed thousands of stairs, and been in the heat all day. We had had enormous fun. But we couldn’t walk. I was suffering from chafing, and sore feet and legs. Chanel was in tears, unable to walk because her legs were so exhausted. It was wonderfully funny!

Friday was busy, preparing for the weekend and doing some work as well. We went to the chapel to set things up for Saturday, and tried to get some sleep in preparation for the big day.

Saturday – Chanel’s baptism…

The day started early as Kylie and I prepared food for the expected 150 people at the baptism. Family photos were scheduled at Wynnum, by the bay, at 10am (I’ll post them when they arrive). The morning was perfect. As I drove to the designated place I got a call from my parents. My whole family was at Brisbane airport, having just flown in, and were unable to hire a car. For some reason the rental companies were all out of cars. I spent the next 20 minutes frantically trying to get them cars, and eventually succeeded.

Photos went well. Everyone was happy until the end. Two hours in thirty degree heat by the bay, with sun reflecting off water, had the children tired out – and sunburnt. But I think they’ll come out nicely.

We enjoyed delicious fish and chips for lunch, and then went to the chapel for the baptismal service.

Highlights:

Chanel and her best friend Brittany sang a church song, “I like my birthdays.”
Kylie gave a beautiful talk
Dad and Karina sang a church song, “How will they know”. Very special.
The baptism itself was special
Wonderful friends who came and participated
Family and friends who travelled great distances to share our special day

The greatest highlight, for me, occurred as the final hymn was sung during the service. We were singing “I am a child of God”, sitting in the front row of the chapel. I looked at Chanel, singing sweetly. She smiled at me as we sang. I told her, “You look happy Chanel.” Her eyes filled with tears and she stopped singing. Then she gently nodded her head and smiled. Chanel was happy. And that is the greatest joy that I can ever feel.

I love that little girl.

Sunday, 21 October 2007

The End is in Sight, But There is Still Work to do

On Monday I handed in my thesis – over 100 pages created over 9 months. It felt great to submit it, and I enjoyed the moment. The burden was lifted, and it felt good. I have no feelings of having done too little, and am confident that it was the best work I could produce. Of course, reality struck hard as I hit the books again, this time for my last project of the year. There is still work to do.

The week has been very challenging actually. Once the thesis was in I had to commence this final assignment, and also prepare an hour-long presentation for the Australian Family Association State Conference. The long nights and busy days have continued.

The conference was held yesterday and I presented to a diverse group of around 50 people. It went quite well and there was a lot of feedback and involvement from participants throughout the workshop. “Connected Parenting” was the topic, and it was terrific fun. Experiences like that make things a little confusing as I consider my options for the coming years. Part of me wants to keep running workshops. I have what it takes to do so, thus building my business and providing for my family. Part of me says, “Be patient, get some more qualifications. Then I can work with far more credibility.” Either way, there is still a lot of work to do. But it felt fantastic to run a workshop and help people explore ideas about how they can be better parents.

Earlier in the week I also received some correspondence from the University of Wollongong. They have invited me to visit for an interview. So my flights are booked. I’ll fly into Sydney, drive to Wollongong, and fly out of Sydney on Melbourne Cup Day – the 6th of November. I’m really looking forward to the visit, and getting some answers and clarity on what I should be doing next year.

Kylie, as always, has been the stable support of my life. Without much help from me Kylie runs our home, looks after our children, and continues to develop her skills and talents in many ways. I am looking forward to having more time to spend with her in the coming weeks as uni winds up.

Abbie and Chanel celebrated their 5th and 8th birthdays respectively on the 18th. It is increasingly apparent that they are getting bigger and older. They bring enormous joy to our lives. Chanel was particularly excited to receive a brand new bike unexpectedly from a family acquaintance. Over the years we have made several attempts to encourage her to ride, but is has always been difficult. When she received the bike, Chanel hopped on while I held the seat. I began to push and she peddled. Then she called out, “Let go dad.” Hesitantly I watched as my fingers left the seat and she rode down the driveway without me beside her.

Chanel is really growing up. My mind instantly reverted to the oft spoken idea that letting go is part of being a parent. The bike is clearly a perfect metaphor. And I felt it way down deep. I had another experience with Chanel this week that should be recorded. We had planned that I would take Chanel out of school for her birthday and visit the Wet ‘n Wild theme park. On that morning I was stressed. With far too much work due (project and conference presentation), and not even close to sufficient time, I wasn’t sure I could take her. The day was cloudy and cool, and it wasn’t much of a day to be at the theme park. I explained my situation and then told Chanel that I would take her because I had promised. Alternatively, I suggested that we could also go next Thursday when I have no commitments, no stress, and the day would hopefully be nicer. Chanel selflessly listened, told me she understood, and then volunteered to go to school on her birthday. So this week we go to Wet n’ Wild without a care in the world, because school will be over for me (except that last exam, but that is not until mid-November).

Chanel loves her bike. I took her to the park this morning (with the rest of the family) and she practiced going up and down the hill. It has only taken thirty minutes and she has it completely under control!

Abbie had a tremendous time on her birthday too. She had half-a-dozen 5 year olds playing with her at her party in the park. Abbie is incredibly tender, but is also growing up fast.

And Ella. What can be said about that little munchkin this week? She tries us terribly, and is so frustrated (as we are) with her inability to express herself. It is so difficult to communicate! But she is a treasure too. Last night Ella was in the bath, submerging herself and swimming laps underwater. Since the bath is only a foot longer that Ella, she didn’t have far to “swim”, but she thought it was terrific. Her happiness is entirely unabashed, and she smiles BIG when she smiles. Ella’s other favourite things to do are singing (although she often doesn’t know how to sing the words) and dancing.

Annie is a wonderful gift. She is always happy, smiling at everyone. This week we had a couple of nights where she slept for 9 hours, but averaged around 7. It is wonderful, considering she is only 7 or 8 weeks old. Given the other challenges we’ve had, it has been nice to not have broken sleep as well.

This week: final assignment goes in, Chanel and I go to Wet n’ Wild, and we have most of the family arriving for Chanel’s baptism. Lots to look forward to! (I’m hoping I might even get my first surf this year in).

Monday, 15 October 2007

Relief... and Muscle Ache

Our children are bringing us greater joy every day! But let me start with last night. Annie, our 6 week old baby, slept right through the night. She slept from a little after 8pm until just before 6am. Wow! Yet, as we look at her we can’t help feel a little sadness. Already, it would seem, she is out of the newborn stage. Our baby is getting bigger. We keep on asking ourselves why it has to happen.

Annie has been overflowing with smiles in the past week. A couple of weeks ago the smiles were more reflexes due to wind, discomfort, or perhaps feeling good. Now her smiles are purposeful, wide and heart-melting. I’ll try and get a photo and include it in the next blog.

Our little Ella is a bundle of energy. She hates going to bed, and endlessly wants to run, jump, scream and shout. “Play” is her favourite word! She’s also pretty good with “Pleeeeease” when she wants to play and Daddy is too busy. Hard to resist when she pleads with just the right amount of cheeky smile on her face. No one loves cuddles (she calls them “cuggles”) like Ella.

Abbie is the sweetest, most tender girl. She told us this week that because she’s nearly a big girl there won’t be any more sooky whining and whinging. Abbie loves cooking in the kitchen with Kylie, and can crack eggs like a pro. And she and Ella regularly fight over who will set the dinner table.

Chanel is growing so fast! Too fast. She is increasingly adult-like in her words and actions, yet she is so small and immature and young. It is incredible to watch her grow. Loves swimming, reading and doing! In fact, we call her the events co-ordinator. It is remarkable, how efficiently she can arrange who she’s visiting, where and when. Chanel is putting a calendar together with all of her friends’ birthdays just so she can be more organised. I think there’s a Karen Coulson gene in there exerting some influence.

Chanel turns eight on Thursday, and Abbie will be five. Both girls are tremendously excited, and anxious for their big day. Abbie will have a party with friends on the day. Chanel will have her celebration on Saturday the 27th with her baptism and the ensuing gathering of family and friends.

During the week we enjoyed a visit from Mum, Dad, Rachel and Leah. They came up for a holiday at Kingscliffe, and visited our family to celebrate Kylie’s birthday and my birthday. We ate Chinese. Yum. As usual, Mum ordered enough to feed far more of us than necessary, and so we ate Chinese the next day, and the next. Oh, and we ate Cherry Ripe Cheesecake. That was pretty good too.

I have experienced the joy of wonderful relief this week. I finally completed my thesis. It was titled, “An Investigation into the Impact of Praise on Theories of Intelligence and Goal Orientation.” All told, it fills 103 pages. It’s big. I will hand it in today (Monday). It feels so good to have it completed. The feeling is great. I just hope it garners a high grade.

On Saturday, to celebrate the completed milestone of my thesis, I went swimming. I’ve decided to get involved with Squad Swimming again. The only problem is, I haven’t swum for years – and years! In fact, I haven’t done anything for my fitness for longer than I can honestly recall. I couldn’t complete the session, but it felt great to be back in the water. I’m sure that with practice I’ll find my fitness again.

When I returned from swimming, I took to the barbeque. It was cleaning day. Hmmmm. I scrubbed that bbq for nearly four hours. My muscles still have not recovered. They haven’t had such a workout for years. The bbq was a mess, but it came up looking great. I had to throw away all the plates, burners and internal pieces and start again. $350 later the bbq looks like new. I can’t wait to cook on it. And to look at it, there’s no doubt all the hard work was worth it.

Kylie has been frantically working on church assignments. She completed a major event for about 30 or 40 women last week. By all reports it went extremely well. Now it’s preparation time for major events for Abbie and Chanel! I’m sure Kylie will have plenty more to work on when that’s done too. What a talent!

As for me, this Saturday I’ll be presenting a workshop for parents. I start preparing that today, and then practice like crazy all week. It’s for the Australian Family Association Qld State Conference at Parliament House in Brisbane. Then I have another major assignment due the following Wednesday which I really need to finish this week too. After that, exam time, and then… graduation. Lots to do between now and then. But it will be nice to finish!

Sunday, 7 October 2007

School Holidays

It has been an action-packed week!

School holidays have just finished and the kids are back at school tomorrow. We love having the children around, but with my endless and enormous study- and work-loads I haven’t had the opportunity to do as much with the children and I would have liked.

Kylie took Chanel to the cinema to see Evan Almighty. They came home raving about the film, saying it was one of the funniest things they’ve seen in a long time. I’ll look forward to seeing the DVD in a few months. Other than that, Kylie has been taking them to the shops for activities, to the park, and to friend’s houses. It has been a busy time.

Fortunately we have a baby who is very calm and comfortable most of the time. Annie is a gift from heaven. I cannot walk past her without pausing to stare into her eyes. I’m in awe of her. Everyone who sees her is instantly in love. She is a special little girl. And wow, can she sleep! Annie is only 5 weeks old but most nights she sleeps happily for around eight hours. Sometimes it’s a little more, other times it’s a little less. But it’s a good sleep!

Kylie celebrated her 29th birthday on the 6th. It was a quiet birthday this year, as mine will be on the 9th. I had a compulsory psychology conference to go to from 8am until 5.30pm on her birthday. Failure to attend the conference would mean failure to complete my degree. They take these things very seriously. This meant that Kylie had to spend the day on her own. I’m grateful that Kylie has good friends. She had a breakfast with her family in the park. Then a friend took the three older girls so Kylie could have a quiet and relaxing day. Shopping, and sleep.

I got home from my conference a little early and decided that we had to buy dinner. Kylie wasn’t going to cook on her birthday and I didn’t have the capacity to. So we had chicken, chips and salad. It was a hit. Then we had an early night.

My week has been a blur. Study, writing, study, research, study. There’s been a little bit of sleep thrown in, but this has been a heavy week. Most nights haven’t finished until close to midnight.

On Tuesday night I called Wally Goddard in the USA. We talked about positive psychology and parenting. We discussed what I might do for a PhD project here in Australia. His guidance and knowledge are gigantic gifts in my life. I was on the phone to the USA from 10pm til midnight. I hope he wasn’t late to work (that’s 7-9am Arkansas time).

And of course, as I mentioned before, I gave a presentation on Kylie’s birthday. It was to a group of about 40 or 50 people and described my research on praise. Knowing that all of the students would be giving similar presentations on their topic, it was important to me that I make mine worth listening to. So I made it fun, and energetic, and full of life. I provided specific applications of what my research meant. And people responded really well. They enjoyed it. In fact, I had several comments from people saying just how much they had enjoyed it.

Only a short report this week as I’ve done little other than study. My thesis is almost completed (if it is possible to ever complete something like that) and the holidays are over. Work is good, and I cannot do any more than I have.

General conference talks are coming out of Salt Lake City today. I heard some this morning on the Internet. I love hearing what our prophets teach us. Inspiring teaching from inspired leaders.