Savouring the experience

A large pool of psychological data describe how happiness and personal well being can be enhanced as we 'savour' the experiences we have, reflecting on the joy we live through. For the past week and a half we have been holidaying with my parents in their home by the water on the Central Coast of NSW. It has been a real treat.

This morning as I returned from the surf I began to reflect on the blessings and abundance we've enjoyed as we've holidayed.

• Going to the temple with my little brother for the first time
• Eating roast pork, roast turkey, roast lamb, roast chicken and roast potatoes (way too much of all of them)
• Swimming after the dive rings in the pool with Chanel, and always getting beaten by millimetres
• Surfing in some of the coldest water I've been in, but going in anyway because I was with my four surfing buddies from Gosford (Thanks for coming Ben, Jay, Richard and Ian). We were only in the water for around 30 minutes and it was so cold I couldn't actually catch any waves, but it was terrific to all be together at Wamberal for the first time in about 12 or 13 years.
• Diving, then somersaulting, then backflipping off the pylons of mum and dad's jetty with Tim. It was going great until he suggested doing a forward run, then launching and doing a backflip. I got the run up, lauched and flicked my feet up and my head back, but only got 90 degrees. That meant I hit the water full force back first. It was red for a few hours.
• Teaching Abbie to do flips in the pool.
• Helping my sister's ex-husband, Mat, put up a trampoline in the pouring rain so Santa wouldn't look like he'd only delivered the boxes.
• Listening to Ella, our little Ewok, speaking in her Ewok language.
• Spending too few precious minutes with Nan and Pop Bunt, and Rob and Tracey, but enjoying being with them all the same.
• Buying "It's a Wonderful Life" (starring James Stewart) for $4.99 and watching it for the first time with Kylie and Mum, and all crying with joy for the blessings of our lives.
• Having a sensational surf at Forrester's Beach in beautiful conditions with miraculously warm water on our last day in Gosford. Ben and I surfed at Banzai and Lefts, caught some terrific waves, and had a genuinely fulfilling conversation. It was so great. Driving back from the beach I just enjoyed the silence and contemplated how many terrific memories have been created on this trip.

Thanks mum and dad for a terrific time. We really appreciated spending Christmas with you and the family.

The Sydney Temple

Our Christmas Holiday began with a wonderful highlight a couple of days ago. Kylie and I had the opportunity to attend the Sydney Temple with my little brother, Tim, while he visited for the first time.

For those unfamiliar with our temples (the LDS church) you can follow this link for a 20 second summary. Go to http://mormon.org/learn/0,8672,1477-1,00.html for details. In short, in temples members learn eternal truths and participate in sacred ordinances (like a ceremony where we make a promise to follow God - an example is baptism) and learn how our families can be united forever!

It was a terrific experience. Tim learned a lot and was enthusiastic about returning. He leaves for his mission in Japan in just over 3 weeks.

Christmas Letter

As we approach and immerse ourselves in another Christmas season I wanted to put together a brief summary of what has occurred in our lives this past year, and particularly what we are grateful for.

Kylie has had some superb highlights. After becoming a tupperware demonstrator earlier this year she progressed quickly to become a manager. In time we realised that while the success was terrific, the demands were incompatible with most other aspects of our lives and she made the difficult decision to step down from that platform. Her selflessness has blessed our family. Kylie was also released from her church calling in compassionate service and called to serve in the Relief Society Presidency.

Kylie is thrilled with the friendships that we have. This year has seen several friendships solidified with wonderful people who bless and inspire our lives, plus they're great fun to be with. Thank you to you for your friendship and support! It means the world to us.

Justin is tiring of being at university. It's now been four years of full-time study (1 yr of TAFE and 3 yrs of uni). But it would be short-sighted to stop now. One more year, next year (Honours) and then loads of possibility).

Happy Families Family Education has had a great start. There aren't too many costs, but all are met, and the business is in the black. Next year it will be low profile database building through blogging and newsletters while honours year is complete.

Earlier this year Justin was also released as Young Men's president at church. Now - the high council with the missionary responsibility. It's been challenging, but good work seems to be occurring and progress has been made. Finally, after 9 months, some positive feelings about it all are commencing.

Lastly, after years of tossing up whether to do it or not, Justin bought a 50cc scooter to get to and from work and uni! (And no more removals, the truck went a few months ago)!

Chanel is stunning us all. She is beautiful, healthy and bright. In fact, Chanel is academically amazing! She tried some piano lessons but isn't quite ready for it, not sure if she really likes it. She also moves up into mini swim squad in January after successfully learning to swim, and has become an angel around the house. In fact, all three girls are stunning with their efforts to be kind, loving and helpful. They stun Kylie and I with their desire to do good, and seem to be internalising strong and important moral principles even at this young age.

Chanel turned 7 this year. She has a couple of amazing friends who have equally amazing parents. Socially, she is skilled and capable, often impressively so. And being the eldest she is very mature.

Abbie is the cutest little critter we've ever known! She calls Kylie "mums" and Justin "dads". We don't understand the plural, but it's beautiful. She has the manners of a princess, eats her weetbix every morning without fail (even when everyone else is having bacon and eggs or spaghetti & baked beans), and whenever something unexpected happens she shouts "Oh Man"!

Abbie loves cuddles, and if she's sad she always asks for one. She turned 4 the same day Chanel turned 7. And Abbie wants to say EVERY prayer offered in our home :) It causes a little bit of stress now and then, but most of the time it's beautiful. Abbie is also learning to swim, and doing really well. And the past year at "purple" kindy (which is actually blue) have seen her develop socially in ways we didn't think possible. Mrs. Cameron has been the most wonderful teacher, and brought so much life out of Abbie. They even learned "It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n roll".

Ella has a nickname, Ella Bella Rosy Tella. We don't know why, but it's stuck. This little munchkin is 3 in January, and the most energetic and challenging of the three. While Abbie was emotionally volatile, Ella is nothing other than perpetual motion, and often perpetual destruction! She doesn't sleep (and it's been our biggest challenge), she shouts and beats up her sisters. Fortunately, as a saving grace, Ella has the most comical sense of humour and a smile and eyes that make it impossible to stay angry at her for more than a few moments. She also has a good heart, and we can tell that Ella wants to do the right thing but gets a little impulsive, energetic and over excited sometimes, a lot like most of us.

2006 has presented several challenges in all areas of our lives, spiritually, emotionally, financially, and intellectually. We're grateful for them because we feel that we've grown as a result. Relationships with family and friends are stronger and deeper. We thank you and love you.

May this Christmas season help us to deepen those relationships.

May we also remember what Elder Neal A. Maxwell reminds us; "God’s gifts, unlike seasonal gifts, are eternal and unperishable, constituting a continuing Christmas which is never over! These infinite gifts are made possible by the “infinite atonement.”

Happy Christmas, and thanks for reading the blog.

Happiness

I have just finished reading a book that belongs near the top of my all time favourites. The Happiness Hypothesis is a remarkable book that provides insight into the latest psychological science findings surrounding ancient truths about finding happiness and meaning in life.

Jonathan Haidt is a highly respected psychologist worldwide and this book is full of insight. As with most psychologists, he is a devotee of Darwinism, but even though there is emphasis on evolution, significant respect is shown for religion, and I learned a lot.

Highly recommended. 8.5 out of 10.

We have a fish in our family

My end of school break is over, and summer school has begun. I sat through my first two adolescent and adult development classes on Friday. It was so hard to be there. I tried really hard to focus, and I did succeed, but it was a big effort. My preparations for next year's honours classes has begun and all I really wanted to do was do more in that area. I'm working on a couple of hours a day, and that should be a pretty reasonable head start when the new semester begins next year.

Chanel had a wonderfully successful week. Her swimming carnival was held on Wednesday and Chanel swam in three events. We're so happy that she can complete 25 metres of three strokes. Our expectations were only that she would swim and have a go. She was brilliant. Fourth place in freestyle (if she were a little bigger she'd have been first). She came third in the backstroke, and second in breast stroke. She was wrapped, and can't wait to get to Gosford over the summer to practice more swimming in nan & pop's pool. Especially butterfly.

I have just finished a couple of brilliant books, one of which was the latest one from Alfie Kohn. I'll be writing about it on my happyfamilies blog in a few weeks. It's called the Homework Myth, and I thought it was brilliant. In it he discusses how research has failed to find any links between children doing homework and learning outcomes. This not only holds for primary school, but up to year 9. Even for the final years of high school homework only provides about a 4% improvement, so long as it's not overdone. What's that got to do with anything? Well, firstly it's a great book that makes us question basic assumptions that we often take for granted. Second, Kylie and I have relaxed about Chanel doing homework. We haven't pushed it for some time (even before we were reading the book). Surprisingly though, Chanel is willing to do it without being reminded, cajoled or otherwise manipulated into it.

I'm enjoying my new job, training in frontline management. It's going really well. Kylie's tupperware is slowing down as we approach Christmas. Happy families.com.au will have a new website in the coming weeks. My web designer has put together a couple of options that I'm excited about. Need some refining, but I'm really excited to see it progress. I'm more pumped about the newsletter and blog. I've really enjoyed doing this and I think it'll be terrific to get right into it even more.

We can't wait to go to Gosford for the break. In two weeks we'll be there

One more goal achieved

All my life I've wanted to see Billy Joel in concert. As a teenager I thought he was one of the greatest singers and songwriters on the planet. Twice as a teen I had tickets to his concerts only to be unable to attend for varying, heartbreaking reasons.

In 1998 he toured with Elton John, and mum and dad took Kylie and I to see the show. Sadly, it ended up being a major disappointment.


This year he toured again, and as a birthday gift (a really expensive one) I was fortunate to be able to finally see Billy Joel in a concert that I knew would not be a letdown.


Kylie and I had terrific seats. The show was brilliant. He played all of the songs that we could have wanted to hear. The highlights were "I go to extremes", "Uptown Girl" and "Scenes from an Italian restaraunt." But the night was terrific. Musically it was sensational, and the musicianship was as good as any concert I've ever seen. He connected with the audience, and everyone had a great time. He was a real person, not just some talented guy on stage singing his songs.


When we left I had two thoughts going through my mind. Firstly, it was a great night, and finally my lifelong desire to see Billy Joel at his best was satisfied. No questions at all. But secondly, I realised something that was a little disappointing. As I had listened to his CD's in the weeks leading up to the concert I had noted that the themes of many of his songs were quite adult. He was singing about things that I hadn't noticed as a teenager, but now was quite uncomfortable listening to, particularly with my children around. A member of my last stake presidency spoke about music and movies, saying we noticed the content more when we watch and listen with someone we respect or someone we want to protect. His songs were such that I wanted to not listen to many because the themes were somewhat inappropriate.


I came to the conclusion that, though he is talented, Billy Joel is a very worldly man. His music is worldly, his language is worldly, and his lyrics are worldly. And so it was ultimately a bittersweet night. I loved the show, I loved seeing him play, I really enjoyed much of the music. But now it's time to leave Billy Joel behind. He no longer has a place in my CD collection. As we push back the world, there are certain sacrifices that need to be placed on the altar. This is one more. But I have great memories of what it was.

Ella Rose

We just got a beautiful photo of Ella come through from her Kindy and I wanted to put it up so you could see her.

Ella turns 3 in January. Without doubt she is the most energetic of our children, she doesn't like to sleep, she loves to shovel food with her hands, and she still isn't too interested in using the potty. Despite this, she has cuteness that matches her attitude, and we love her so much. She loves cuddles, she loves bodyslamming daddy while he lays on the floor playing with all of the children, and she loves being outside getting dirty.

A couple of days ago Justin noticed she had a dirty nose. When he tried to blow it she cried. A closer inspection revealed that she had inserted a rock up there. It took about 5 minutes to finally pry it out of there!

Exam Results

Great News!!!

Exam results have come in for the end of the year. I've passed all of my subjects with three distinctions and a credit. I had hoped to do a little better, but with everything that we've got on at the moment, no complaints.

I start summer school this Friday, and that will be the last subject I have to complete before commencing my honours.

Timmy J

We had some terrific news in the last few days. My little brother, Tim, received his mission call. Tim is going to Japan Nagoya mission, and he leaves in mid January. We're really excited for him and can't wait to spend our last Christmas with him for two years.

Lots of cricket, surfing and fun time together over summer!

Tim will be getting a haircut before his mission :) He's taken his time in deciding to go, and now that he's going, we know he'll be brilliant.

Our first blog

Over the past year or so I've been sending out a family newsletter each week or two or three to keep people up to date with what we are doing. It's mainly because I'm lousy at keeping a journal and a good friend of mine gave me the idea that this would be good instead.

Recently I met a friend who told me he did something similar, only he did it on a blog. I thought it was a great idea, so that's what I've decided to do. I'll be posting once each week, or thereabouts. Perhaps sometimes fortnightly.

Kylie will also be popping some posts up so you can hear from both of us. We'll make sure we get a few photo's online as well.

Feel free to drop us a line via the comments section. We'd love to hear from you.

Justin