Late again on this post...
I’ve struggled to find the motivation to write in recent weeks. I have managed to jot down a few thoughts, and can certainly describe blessings and gifts for which I’m grateful. I simply haven’t had the heightened motivation levels that I’m used to enjoying. I think the lack of progress on my PhD work is a likely cause. Hopefully this will change over the coming week as I get through the mountains of marking and consulting I’m doing in order to focus on my number one study priority.
The last week began in a pretty rough way. I had not come home from a choir practice for the youth until 11pm Sunday night. Annie determined that sleep was not on her late night agenda. And my alarm awoke me at 4am in order to drive to Sydney International Airport. Some friends were returning from the USA and I had agreed to pick them up. I arrived too early and tried to sleep, uncomfortably, in the driver’s seat. No luck. I drove laps around the International terminal for 40 minutes. Finally we spotted each other and, relieved, we drove back to Wollongong.
Monday also saw the marking begin. We’re into the final weeks of the semester now and reports are due. Marking is a painful way to live life. I experienced some joy Monday evening when, over dinner, we explored Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken.” Over the course of one week Chanel and Abbie have entirely memorised the poem and can explain what it is about. Ella is also doing remarkably well and can recite most of it with occasional prompts.
Tuesday saw us make progress at uni with my honours student. She is an extremely emotional girl who has had a roller coaster ride. Her other supervisor makes her uncomfortable and she cries at a comment or glance. But she is comfortable with me and we work well together. Her work is looking good, and progressing on schedule.
Tuesday night we had Family Home Evening. We talked about Justice and Mercy. I used the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears as we examined the character of Goldilocks. The children agreed that she was lawfully guilty of break and enter, trespass, and theft! They also agreed that justice demanded a price be paid. Of course, they recognised that if Goldilocks sought forgiveness and made restitution that mercy might be applied. It was a successful and fun night.
Wednesday saw me marking more. Aaaargh! I arrived home and Chanel explained that two boys had fought over her in the playground. I was not overly concerned but wondered what I had in store in the coming decade or more with FOUR girls! I raced out the door to get the youth back to Campbelltown for yet another choir practice.
Thursday we took the car in for a repairman to look at the stereo. It would not turn off and had already cost us a new battery early in the week. He discovered that Annie had inserted a 10c coin into the CD player and short-circuited the unit. This meant that it could not be repaired and a new one would need to be purchased. Ouch. While in the store Kylie inquired about the price of an in-car DVD player. She liked what she heard and bought it! Hmmm. So a 10c coin cost us $1200. We purchased the DVD player for those long drives up to Gosford and Queensland. And of course we also needed to get a CD player. I chose the cheapest one I could that had a certain few luxuries I felt I could not live without in the year 2009. I like my new stereo.
Friday was a difficult day for Chanel. We discovered more about the playground fight. Apparently the boys wanted to be her boyfriend. Chanel had been involved in a small way in the instigation of the violence. We have had ongoing concerns about things for Chanel at school. This incident seems to be one in a long line of challenges. We hope to speak to her teacher in the coming week.
Saturday I raced – poorly. The race was fast and hard and it hurt. Chanel attended a birthday party and went ice-skating. I was proud of her. One of the parents reported that Chanel fell down again and again but continually demonstrated determination. She told someone that all she had to do was keep on practicing and she would develop the skill to be able to skate competently. Maybe some of the things we say do rub off after all.
Sunday was a special day. We drove to Campbelltown again! This time it was to sit at the feet of an apostle and listen to his words.
We arrived 45 minutes early. There was barely a seat left! The chapel was full and so was the spill-over. The basketball court behind the chapel was opened up to half way and that was full. The other half of the court was opened and we sat halfway to the back of that! By the time the meeting began at 10am the place was packed! The meeting was quite nice. Our children were remarkably reverent. But we were so far back, and the sound was so poor, that we struggled to hear.
Halfway through the meeting the alarm bells began to ring. We knew it couldn’t be a fire drill. But the siren was screaming! No one left their seats. I gathered my family together and we left the building. Of more than 1000 people in the building only around 20 of us moved! Some called it faithful. I am pragmatic in my faith. I think it was stubborn and irresponsible that people did not heed a warning signal. Nonetheless we discovered that someone’s little child had hit the fire alarm and it was indeed a false alarm.
Jeffrey R. Holland spoke for a little over 30 minutes. His comments were powerful and it was worth the drive, the sitting, the occasional frustration with the children, and the headache from the screaming alarm. He spoke with conviction and assurance. He told us that “there is nothing anyone on this earth can show me or say to me that will strengthen me in my testimony. My knowledge that God lives and this is His church is perfect.” He then spoke to the youth and begged them to give the Lord a tithe on their life. He suggested ten years would be about right and implored them to give the ten years from age 12-22. He promised them if they lived right then, the rest of their life would be looked after. It was a good experience to be there for it.
We drove home Sunday afternoon and cooked roast chicken. The missionaries helped us eat it. There might have been left-overs but the missionaries helped to eat them too! In fact the missionaries ate about three or four plates of food. It was a heavenly roast.
Friday, 29 May 2009
Sunday 17th May 2009
I'm a little late in getting this up online...
A few busy weekends puts me well behind in keeping things up to date. But they’ve been weekends full of goodness and happiness for our whole family! I’ll summarise briefly…
April concluded in the week following our Mt. Kosciuszko hike. We were so excited to have hiked that terrific hill. Because of the cold, Kylie lost her voice. My poor wife. I missed being able to talk with her. After a few days it finally came back to her relief, and mine.
We have created a new favourite game with the children. With the weather being colder than we’re used to I’ve been wearing my slippers. When I wrestle with the children they try to steal them. They think it’s terrific. And I like it because I can control how long the game goes! It gets pretty crazy. The girls are amazingly energetic.
Abbie was wobbling her teeth and I suggested that I rip it out for her. She thought it was a bad idea, but wanted some extra time to think about it before bed. We read a story and I promptly forgot about my offer. When the story was over Abbie decided I should pull it out. I grabbed it and tugged. She never flinched and the tooth popped straight out! She amazed me!
Tuesday night I took the Young Men from church out to ride the billy-carts we built over the previous Tuesday evenings. They were full of confidence. Some wobbles made me wary and when we arrived at the hill I suggested starting at the half-way mark. They were hard to persuade. Eventually they came most of the way to me but insisted on starting higher up the hill than I had indicated. The first riders began their descent. One boy went about twenty metres before swerving wildly and crashing heavily into a parked car. He flew out of the cart and sprawled across the road. As I ran to him the other boy reached the bottom with the death wobbles. He hit the gutter at full speed and was catapulted out of the cart. No one else wanted to ride the carts after everyone saw the blood! We learned a lot about billy carts that night – and first-aid.
My bike ride on the Saturday was a thrilling ride. I came 5th and rode very strong the entire race. Super exciting. I love racing and riding hard. And being on the bike so much is making me feel increasingly healthy and invigorated. I love it.
Church on Sunday (May 3rd) was difficult. Between Kylie and I we barely got any time at all in any meetings due to cranky children. Annie would not go to her nursery class and Ella played up a lot in Sunday School. Hard work and not an uplifting day. But we were there, and it feels good to have spent that time. I went home-teaching all afternoon but I wonder whether it makes any difference sometimes. These visits were not as inspiring as I would have liked.
Monday May 4th I had a student approach me. She is in her early 50’s and has had a very difficult life living with an abusive husband. In recent years she left him but had to go to court for settlement. This had set off a series of traumatic memories for her and her schooling has suffered. As I worked with her on possible solutions to her schooling challenges (she sought me in reference to study, not counselling) I felt so grateful to have been born into a family where my parents treated us kindly. I felt so blessed to live in a home where abuse is a foreign concept. I hope that lady and her family can recover somehow.
During the week I completed my paper for the 6th time. I received negative feedback again. Still more work to do. This is a challenging process! I am learning a great deal and am grateful for people who are willing to work with me despite my slow learning. With prayer, fasting, and hard work I’m sure I’ll get it to publication standard with not too much more time getting away.
Friday night was a thrill for us. We had wanted to visit Nan & Pop Bunt but time got the better of us. However we met mum at the temple so that she could watch the children while Kylie and I enjoyed the privilege of attending a temple session for the first time together in 18 months. We are committed to going once a month from now on. I hope we can make it happen. Mum took the children to Gosford while we were in the temple. Kylie and I ate delicious Italian food and then drove north as well. The children were still awake at 9pm when we arrived home but they were happy and went straight to bed when we arrived.
Saturday was great! I went for an 80km ride around the Cental Coast from one end to the other. Then Kylie and I went shopping so she could spend some money on new clothes for Mother’s Day. It took a long time – but finally she bought some terrific clothing. And looked superb!
Mother’s Day was excellent. Tim, Alisa, and I gave mum, Kylie (and everyone else) a delicious breakfast of bacon, eggs, top shelf muesli, yoghurt, and fruit. Delicious. Then we shared gifts. Mum felt our love and we did the best we could to make her feel great. Next year I really want to do more for Kylie though. After breakfast Mum, Tim, and I jumped into the van and drove to visit Nan Bunt for Mother’s Day. We had a WONDERFUL visit and enjoyed her company so much. It was funny to hear Nan and Mum argue with each other… and they wonder where Karina gets her temper! I loved watching Nan and Pop. Such great examples to me of a loving relationship after so many years. We missed church which was disappointing. Time had beaten us. I cooked a roast for about 20 people for Sunday dinner. Then we drove, exhausted, back to Wollongong.
This past week has been busy but with little out of the ordinary. A couple of brief highlights:
- I have been working to bring LDS musician Kenneth Cope out from the USA for a visit. Approval was granted and airfares booked. Major victory!
- I attended a “happiness” conference on Thursday in Sydney. The morning began poorly. I nearly left at the mid-morning session. But I was pleasantly surprised by what came after. I was inspired by Marva Collins who reminded me about important things I can teach my children. She teaches the poorest children and prepares them for Harvard, Yale, and so on. Brilliant and uplifting. I was moved to tears by Geraldine Cox, who described the traumatic lives of Cambodian children who are sold by their parents to begging rings, ending up as orphans. She runs several orphanages in Cambodia and her stories touched me. I was uplifted by Ingrid Paulson (?) who described resilience by telling us how she deals with living without her father and two children who were murdered by her then-husband who also killed himself. I was intrigued by Norman Doidge who discussed the neuroplasticity of the brain. Brilliant. Check out his book “The Brain that Changes Itself”.
- I have begun to teach the children Robert Frost’s “The Road Less Travelled” and they love it! They have memorised half of the poem already. I hope they’ll finish it by next week.
A few busy weekends puts me well behind in keeping things up to date. But they’ve been weekends full of goodness and happiness for our whole family! I’ll summarise briefly…
April concluded in the week following our Mt. Kosciuszko hike. We were so excited to have hiked that terrific hill. Because of the cold, Kylie lost her voice. My poor wife. I missed being able to talk with her. After a few days it finally came back to her relief, and mine.
We have created a new favourite game with the children. With the weather being colder than we’re used to I’ve been wearing my slippers. When I wrestle with the children they try to steal them. They think it’s terrific. And I like it because I can control how long the game goes! It gets pretty crazy. The girls are amazingly energetic.
Abbie was wobbling her teeth and I suggested that I rip it out for her. She thought it was a bad idea, but wanted some extra time to think about it before bed. We read a story and I promptly forgot about my offer. When the story was over Abbie decided I should pull it out. I grabbed it and tugged. She never flinched and the tooth popped straight out! She amazed me!
Tuesday night I took the Young Men from church out to ride the billy-carts we built over the previous Tuesday evenings. They were full of confidence. Some wobbles made me wary and when we arrived at the hill I suggested starting at the half-way mark. They were hard to persuade. Eventually they came most of the way to me but insisted on starting higher up the hill than I had indicated. The first riders began their descent. One boy went about twenty metres before swerving wildly and crashing heavily into a parked car. He flew out of the cart and sprawled across the road. As I ran to him the other boy reached the bottom with the death wobbles. He hit the gutter at full speed and was catapulted out of the cart. No one else wanted to ride the carts after everyone saw the blood! We learned a lot about billy carts that night – and first-aid.
My bike ride on the Saturday was a thrilling ride. I came 5th and rode very strong the entire race. Super exciting. I love racing and riding hard. And being on the bike so much is making me feel increasingly healthy and invigorated. I love it.
Church on Sunday (May 3rd) was difficult. Between Kylie and I we barely got any time at all in any meetings due to cranky children. Annie would not go to her nursery class and Ella played up a lot in Sunday School. Hard work and not an uplifting day. But we were there, and it feels good to have spent that time. I went home-teaching all afternoon but I wonder whether it makes any difference sometimes. These visits were not as inspiring as I would have liked.
Monday May 4th I had a student approach me. She is in her early 50’s and has had a very difficult life living with an abusive husband. In recent years she left him but had to go to court for settlement. This had set off a series of traumatic memories for her and her schooling has suffered. As I worked with her on possible solutions to her schooling challenges (she sought me in reference to study, not counselling) I felt so grateful to have been born into a family where my parents treated us kindly. I felt so blessed to live in a home where abuse is a foreign concept. I hope that lady and her family can recover somehow.
During the week I completed my paper for the 6th time. I received negative feedback again. Still more work to do. This is a challenging process! I am learning a great deal and am grateful for people who are willing to work with me despite my slow learning. With prayer, fasting, and hard work I’m sure I’ll get it to publication standard with not too much more time getting away.
Friday night was a thrill for us. We had wanted to visit Nan & Pop Bunt but time got the better of us. However we met mum at the temple so that she could watch the children while Kylie and I enjoyed the privilege of attending a temple session for the first time together in 18 months. We are committed to going once a month from now on. I hope we can make it happen. Mum took the children to Gosford while we were in the temple. Kylie and I ate delicious Italian food and then drove north as well. The children were still awake at 9pm when we arrived home but they were happy and went straight to bed when we arrived.
Saturday was great! I went for an 80km ride around the Cental Coast from one end to the other. Then Kylie and I went shopping so she could spend some money on new clothes for Mother’s Day. It took a long time – but finally she bought some terrific clothing. And looked superb!
Mother’s Day was excellent. Tim, Alisa, and I gave mum, Kylie (and everyone else) a delicious breakfast of bacon, eggs, top shelf muesli, yoghurt, and fruit. Delicious. Then we shared gifts. Mum felt our love and we did the best we could to make her feel great. Next year I really want to do more for Kylie though. After breakfast Mum, Tim, and I jumped into the van and drove to visit Nan Bunt for Mother’s Day. We had a WONDERFUL visit and enjoyed her company so much. It was funny to hear Nan and Mum argue with each other… and they wonder where Karina gets her temper! I loved watching Nan and Pop. Such great examples to me of a loving relationship after so many years. We missed church which was disappointing. Time had beaten us. I cooked a roast for about 20 people for Sunday dinner. Then we drove, exhausted, back to Wollongong.
This past week has been busy but with little out of the ordinary. A couple of brief highlights:
- I have been working to bring LDS musician Kenneth Cope out from the USA for a visit. Approval was granted and airfares booked. Major victory!
- I attended a “happiness” conference on Thursday in Sydney. The morning began poorly. I nearly left at the mid-morning session. But I was pleasantly surprised by what came after. I was inspired by Marva Collins who reminded me about important things I can teach my children. She teaches the poorest children and prepares them for Harvard, Yale, and so on. Brilliant and uplifting. I was moved to tears by Geraldine Cox, who described the traumatic lives of Cambodian children who are sold by their parents to begging rings, ending up as orphans. She runs several orphanages in Cambodia and her stories touched me. I was uplifted by Ingrid Paulson (?) who described resilience by telling us how she deals with living without her father and two children who were murdered by her then-husband who also killed himself. I was intrigued by Norman Doidge who discussed the neuroplasticity of the brain. Brilliant. Check out his book “The Brain that Changes Itself”.
- I have begun to teach the children Robert Frost’s “The Road Less Travelled” and they love it! They have memorised half of the poem already. I hope they’ll finish it by next week.
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Fitzroy Falls
Here's a bunch of photos from our family trip to Fitzroy Falls in the Southern NSW highlands, April 2009.
Abbie and Ella with Abbie's best friend, Elissa Thayer - Loving life.
The Coulsons with our dear friends - the Thayers. Overlooking the falls and the magical valley below.
Fitzroy Falls - don't drop the camera!!
Energetic Ella expending some energy with Elissa.
Ella, Chanel, Abbie, and Annie overlooking the valley.
Happiness.
Abbie and Ella with Abbie's best friend, Elissa Thayer - Loving life.
The Coulsons with our dear friends - the Thayers. Overlooking the falls and the magical valley below.
Fitzroy Falls - don't drop the camera!!
Energetic Ella expending some energy with Elissa.
Ella, Chanel, Abbie, and Annie overlooking the valley.
Happiness.Hiking Mt Kosciuszko
Below are some photos from our recent hike. We took Nan and Pop Coulson, and the girl's cousins: Jaxson, Phoenix, and Logan.
Abbie and Phoenix love spending time together. This was in Thredbo village just before we caught the chair up the mountain. Temperature was only around 2 degrees celsius.
Catching a ride up the mountain with Ella, Abbie, and Phoenix.
Abbie and Phoenix love spending time together. This was in Thredbo village just before we caught the chair up the mountain. Temperature was only around 2 degrees celsius.
Catching a ride up the mountain with Ella, Abbie, and Phoenix.Cool kids! Abbie, Phoenix, Jaxson, Logan, Chanel, and Ella. About to start a 13km hike.
Oh what a feeling! Starting the hike to the top of the tallest mountain in Australia.
Abbie and Ella putting in the miles.
Chanel, Abbie, and Jaxson along the track. It was only about 5 degrees, but walking made it hot.
A couple of cool customers! They made the trip so much easier for the children. Thanks mum and dad.
On top of the world!!! All the kids except Ella, munching on top of the highest point in Australia.
Ella, looking down the mountain... have we only done 7kms? Come on folks, we can go further!
Annie and her dad. I carried her the 14 kms in the backpack. I carried Logan about 3kms on the way back down. Sore legs!
Abbie May on top of the mountain before we walked back to the chair.
Annie loves lunch!
Phoenix, Abbie, Ella, and Logan on the top of the mountain.
Our family - feeling great that we accomplished something BIG.
Pop Coulson and the BOYZ!!!
Extended family on the peak.
You can't get any higher than this and still be touching the ground anywhere in Australia!
Oh what a feeling! Starting the hike to the top of the tallest mountain in Australia.
Abbie and Ella putting in the miles.
Chanel, Abbie, and Jaxson along the track. It was only about 5 degrees, but walking made it hot.
A couple of cool customers! They made the trip so much easier for the children. Thanks mum and dad.
On top of the world!!! All the kids except Ella, munching on top of the highest point in Australia.
Ella, looking down the mountain... have we only done 7kms? Come on folks, we can go further!
Annie and her dad. I carried her the 14 kms in the backpack. I carried Logan about 3kms on the way back down. Sore legs!
Abbie May on top of the mountain before we walked back to the chair.
Annie loves lunch!
Phoenix, Abbie, Ella, and Logan on the top of the mountain. 
Our family - feeling great that we accomplished something BIG.
Pop Coulson and the BOYZ!!!
Extended family on the peak.
You can't get any higher than this and still be touching the ground anywhere in Australia!Tuesday, 21 April 2009
Jamberoo
Our week began fairly quietly. It was the first week of NSW school holidays and the children were excited to play with the neighbours for the last time before they moved away. The neighbours left for their new home on Wednesday. This meant that the kids did nothing but play and play and play all day Monday and Tuesday. I was still a little unwell both days as a result of overdoing it on the bike the previous week. Unfortunately that meant that we missed Rachel and Leah’s birthday party in Gosford on the 13th. Rachel had flown back from Melbourne for it, and the family had a wonderful night. (Rachel is having a sensational time living and studying dance in Melbourne).
Tuesday while the children played I continued my recovery. I spent the first three days of the week working steadily on my PhD. It’s wonderful when uni breaks are on! No students or classes means I get so much extra work done. For youth activities on Tuesday night we cleaned the chapel. I was really proud of the boys. They did an excellent job and worked hard despite their reluctance. I took the young man who whined about not doing the toilets to that very area and we worked together to make them sparkle. He saw it wasn’t THAT bad, and did a terrific job. Their attitude was excellent.
Wednesday we received news that the extension on our home loan has gone through. This means that we no longer owe any money to anyone except the bank! We’re pleased about this, although the increase in repayment is a little intimidating.
Thursday was the highlight of the week. We took the children to Jamberoo, an “action/theme” park about 40 minutes south of our home. The day was covered with an ocean of sunshine that drenched us all day. It was perfect. Jamberoo is set in picturesque surrounds and it could not have been a more perfect day. Mum and Dad came down with Mat and his four children: Jaxson, Paris, Phoenix, and Logan. The park was relatively uncrowded, and while the water was cold, the children had an amazing day.
We marveled at the independence of Chanel as she explored the park with one or two of her similarly aged cousins. We were thrilled at the courage of Ella as she attacked every waterslide with enthusiasm, regardless of the degree of fear it instilled in other children. We appreciated the tenderness of Abbie as she hesitated at every new ride she approached, only to recall one of our family mottos, “We try new things once”, and then tentatively gave it a go. At the end of every ride that had concerned her, Abbie would respond with a “That was fun!” followed by “Can we do it again?” We were only too happy to encourage her to ride as many attractions as often as possible.
Mum and Dad were an enormous help, maintaining their place at “home base” so the children could return, snack, tell stories, dry off and warm up before racing off to ride slides again. We appreciated their attendance so much. And Kylie had the forethought to pack an impressive spread for lunch. Eskies were allowed to be used, and we ate very well! Had we purchased meals there we would likely have spent three to four times what Kylie outlaid. So it was well prepared. I am grateful for a prudent and prepared wife.
One of the most amazing things was the ski-lift and toboggan sled ride. We caught a ski-lift to the top of the mountain. It was a LONG way up there, and the views were stunning – green fields everywhere, mountains surrounding the western side and the ocean encompassing the east. Then there was a LONG bobsled run all the way back down the mountain. Impressively, Jaxson and Chanel had a go at this well before any adults were there to supervise. We were amazed!
Our day ended as the sun descended, making the cool air a little too much for the children playing in the water. Chicko’s for dinner was superb!
Friday I was supposed to be back into the schoolwork. Instead I went for only my third surf since November. Finally some quality waves. It was only short, but it felt terrific. Kylie convinced me to mow the lawn rather than go to school as I only had a couple of hours before I needed to leave for Sydney. Kylie prevailed. I took care of things at home before racing off to Sydney to visit my Nanna Bunt in hospital. She hasn’t been doing so well lately. I was disappointed to only have about 15 minutes with her but was running late to get to the temple. It has been many months since I’ve attended the temple and it felt good to be there.
Dad and I left the temple and went to a lovely little Italian restaurant up the street for garlic prawns, pizza, and Mexicana veal. It was satisfying in every way and a terrific way to conclude the evening. Then I drove to the airport to pick up two wonderful friends for Kylie and Chanel: Luwana Holzworth and her daughter, Brittany. We arrived home at midnight, completely spent.
The remainder of the weekend Chanel and Brittany played, and Kylie and Luwana talked. They had a wonderful time reacquainting. Kylie took everyone (except me) on a hike around Mt. Keira. Plenty of leeches once again, and unfortunately another VERY big red-bellied black snake. We’ve decided not to do any more hikes on that track!
I arose earlier than I wanted to and rode my bike a very difficult 60km south to Berry. A church Young Men’s camp was on. We enjoyed a beautiful day, ran around and played a lot of sport (which my team won convincingly – I’m not competitive, I just like to win), and ate a terrible cold dinner around the blazing campfire. It sounds so good, and it was until the storm! A howling south-east wind coupled with lots of rain meant that I was awake most of the night. The weather was no better on Sunday as we huddled under a tarp together. Despite this we had some highlights.
Sacrament meeting was held at 11am with some reprieve from the rain. It was a good meeting, and it felt good to take bread and water and focus on Goodness in such unique and otherwise distracting circumstances. Later in the afternoon we had another meeting where all of the returned missionaries spoke briefly about their mission experiences. That was wonderfully uplifting. By that time I was turning into an icicle. I had not packed sufficient warm clothing and the weather was relentless. I managed to catch a ride home around 7pm. Kylie had saved me some of her roast chicken dinner. Amazing! My wife is thoughtful beyond words. The steaming roast potatoes made me feel like I was in heaven. And that amazing gravy… wow. A LONG shower warmed my bones, and I fell comfortably asleep before 8pm. A wonderful week.
Tuesday while the children played I continued my recovery. I spent the first three days of the week working steadily on my PhD. It’s wonderful when uni breaks are on! No students or classes means I get so much extra work done. For youth activities on Tuesday night we cleaned the chapel. I was really proud of the boys. They did an excellent job and worked hard despite their reluctance. I took the young man who whined about not doing the toilets to that very area and we worked together to make them sparkle. He saw it wasn’t THAT bad, and did a terrific job. Their attitude was excellent.
Wednesday we received news that the extension on our home loan has gone through. This means that we no longer owe any money to anyone except the bank! We’re pleased about this, although the increase in repayment is a little intimidating.
Thursday was the highlight of the week. We took the children to Jamberoo, an “action/theme” park about 40 minutes south of our home. The day was covered with an ocean of sunshine that drenched us all day. It was perfect. Jamberoo is set in picturesque surrounds and it could not have been a more perfect day. Mum and Dad came down with Mat and his four children: Jaxson, Paris, Phoenix, and Logan. The park was relatively uncrowded, and while the water was cold, the children had an amazing day.
We marveled at the independence of Chanel as she explored the park with one or two of her similarly aged cousins. We were thrilled at the courage of Ella as she attacked every waterslide with enthusiasm, regardless of the degree of fear it instilled in other children. We appreciated the tenderness of Abbie as she hesitated at every new ride she approached, only to recall one of our family mottos, “We try new things once”, and then tentatively gave it a go. At the end of every ride that had concerned her, Abbie would respond with a “That was fun!” followed by “Can we do it again?” We were only too happy to encourage her to ride as many attractions as often as possible.
Mum and Dad were an enormous help, maintaining their place at “home base” so the children could return, snack, tell stories, dry off and warm up before racing off to ride slides again. We appreciated their attendance so much. And Kylie had the forethought to pack an impressive spread for lunch. Eskies were allowed to be used, and we ate very well! Had we purchased meals there we would likely have spent three to four times what Kylie outlaid. So it was well prepared. I am grateful for a prudent and prepared wife.
One of the most amazing things was the ski-lift and toboggan sled ride. We caught a ski-lift to the top of the mountain. It was a LONG way up there, and the views were stunning – green fields everywhere, mountains surrounding the western side and the ocean encompassing the east. Then there was a LONG bobsled run all the way back down the mountain. Impressively, Jaxson and Chanel had a go at this well before any adults were there to supervise. We were amazed!
Our day ended as the sun descended, making the cool air a little too much for the children playing in the water. Chicko’s for dinner was superb!
Friday I was supposed to be back into the schoolwork. Instead I went for only my third surf since November. Finally some quality waves. It was only short, but it felt terrific. Kylie convinced me to mow the lawn rather than go to school as I only had a couple of hours before I needed to leave for Sydney. Kylie prevailed. I took care of things at home before racing off to Sydney to visit my Nanna Bunt in hospital. She hasn’t been doing so well lately. I was disappointed to only have about 15 minutes with her but was running late to get to the temple. It has been many months since I’ve attended the temple and it felt good to be there.
Dad and I left the temple and went to a lovely little Italian restaurant up the street for garlic prawns, pizza, and Mexicana veal. It was satisfying in every way and a terrific way to conclude the evening. Then I drove to the airport to pick up two wonderful friends for Kylie and Chanel: Luwana Holzworth and her daughter, Brittany. We arrived home at midnight, completely spent.
The remainder of the weekend Chanel and Brittany played, and Kylie and Luwana talked. They had a wonderful time reacquainting. Kylie took everyone (except me) on a hike around Mt. Keira. Plenty of leeches once again, and unfortunately another VERY big red-bellied black snake. We’ve decided not to do any more hikes on that track!
I arose earlier than I wanted to and rode my bike a very difficult 60km south to Berry. A church Young Men’s camp was on. We enjoyed a beautiful day, ran around and played a lot of sport (which my team won convincingly – I’m not competitive, I just like to win), and ate a terrible cold dinner around the blazing campfire. It sounds so good, and it was until the storm! A howling south-east wind coupled with lots of rain meant that I was awake most of the night. The weather was no better on Sunday as we huddled under a tarp together. Despite this we had some highlights.
Sacrament meeting was held at 11am with some reprieve from the rain. It was a good meeting, and it felt good to take bread and water and focus on Goodness in such unique and otherwise distracting circumstances. Later in the afternoon we had another meeting where all of the returned missionaries spoke briefly about their mission experiences. That was wonderfully uplifting. By that time I was turning into an icicle. I had not packed sufficient warm clothing and the weather was relentless. I managed to catch a ride home around 7pm. Kylie had saved me some of her roast chicken dinner. Amazing! My wife is thoughtful beyond words. The steaming roast potatoes made me feel like I was in heaven. And that amazing gravy… wow. A LONG shower warmed my bones, and I fell comfortably asleep before 8pm. A wonderful week.
Sunday, 5 April 2009
Two Weeks in the Blink of an Eye
Two weeks will vanish in the blink of an eye! The week ending Sunday the 29th March was relatively uneventful. I put in a rigorous week at uni, Kylie was flat out with the children, the house, her volunteer work with the pre-school and blind bike riders, and who knows what else. But little occurred that is noteworthy in any way. The only highlight is that the bank approved an extension to our home loan so we can repay our debt to mum and dad. We are looking forward to the funds being ready to draw down and for mum and dad being able to receive their money.
Saturday the 28th was a tremendous day, perhaps even the highlight of the week. Kylie and I had planned on enjoying as much of a sleep-in and cuddle as possible. However Ella had me awake right on 6am. I put her back to bed and she settled into sleep quickly, but I was awake. I decided that I may as well go for my usual 70km Saturday ride. As I left the house little Annie awoke. That meant Kylie was awake too. My ride was great! I arrived home to find an annoyed wife, but she had created a beautifully clean home. Plus the family was ready to go hiking. I gobbled a banana sandwich down (not nearly enough) and we piled into the car. Kylie eventually forgave me for leaving her in the morning and our hike began.
Our Mt. Keira hike was a genuine adventure. My legs were already weary from the ride, so carrying Annie on my back for 5km up and down a mountain only added to the fatigue. Despite this, things went really well on the hike. We made dozens of stops along the way though. Leeches were everywhere. Fortunately I had brought the salt and it came in very handy. I think I probably removed somewhere between 100 and 150 leeches from Kylie and the girls. It was astounding. But the children were mostly very brave about it, and have learnt a lot about how leeches work.
I told them all about old Nanna Bunt (1903-2001 I think), Pop Bunt’s mum. When she was a young girl she used to go down to the local creek and allow the leeches to fasten themselves to her legs. Then she and her friends or siblings would remove the leeches and put them into jars to sell at the hospital. The children were comforted to know that nothing fatal would occur. It felt good to talk about a much-loved ancestor and pass on a small part of her life to the children.
Perhaps the scariest experience of our hike was the red-bellied black snake. Abbie was several metres ahead of everyone else, leading our family up the track. Kylie was next in line with Chanel. I was some distance back with Ella and Annie. Kylie stopped suddenly, frozen in her tracks. As I approached her, Kylie motioned towards the side of the track. Curled up in a neat bundle was a very long snake, watching the track – and Kylie. Abbie had already walked several metres past the snake. Should we call Abbie back to us or follow her past the snake? After some nervous moments we each walked past the snake, hugging the side of the path opposite the snake, hearts pounding through our chests. It watched us, tongue flicking in and out, but it never moved. We were relieved to finally reach the car again. Leeches were nothing compared to a red-bellied black snake!
When we finally returned to the car everyone’s shoes and socks were removed in search of more leeches. We compared blood stains in our socks before returning home for lunch to await mum and dad’s visit. They arrived late in the afternoon and we moved furniture around (having arranged for a new washing machine and freezer to be delivered to cater for the ongoing and growing needs of our family). Kylie and I were treated to dinner at a local restaurant for our anniversary while mum and dad looked after the children. We were so tired we were home by 9pm though! A terrific day.
Last Sunday I did something I’ve never done before. I sang with my dad. I love my dad’s singing and to share the experience with him was tremendous. We sang in sacrament meeting, Jesus the Very Thought of Thee.
O hope of every contrite heart, o joy of all the meek
To those who fall, how kind thou art. How good to those who seek.
There was no fanfare, and few comments from those who heard it. But a simple hymn was sung with a powerful and important message. It meant something to me. And it meant even more because I shared it with my dad. I don’t sing too well, but what made me feel great was singing with dad. Dad is one of the most beautiful singers I’ve heard. But despite the discrepancy between our ability’s, dad wasn’t too proud to sing with me. I was grateful for today’s time with him. Our afternoon with mum and dad was short but warm memories were created. Dad was in a great mood and joked with the children. Mum was relaxing a little and letting go of agendas and directives. A treat and blessing to share time with family.
This past week has been excruciating in its intensity. Monday we began the process of rearranging the house after mum and dad delivered many more furniture items than we had expected (or needed). I spent a weary day at university teaching. It was refreshing to take the children to the beach for Family Home Evening. We played in the water and on the sand for a couple of hours as we made use of the final Monday of daylight savings until next Spring.
Tuesday was busy at uni again, and in the evening we almost finished putting the billy-carts together for the young men at church. They’ve really enjoyed the activity and we’ve all learned a lot about handyman stuff.
Wednesday Kylie and I were not feeling great. Annie kept us up almost all night with high temperatures. Early morning (around 1am) Kylie had sent me off to the spare room so I could have a little bit of sleep. She stayed up with the baby. I don’t know how she functions on so little sleep. I arrived at uni bleary eyed and had just started working when the fire alarms went off. A ‘suspicious package’ had been found on the third floor so the building was evacuated for a couple of hours while the bomb squad were called. It was nothing other than an unwanted and irritable frustration in an already difficult morning. We cynically joked that it was likely to have been someone’s lunchbox left in a strange place and spotted by a paranoid security team member. I cancelled my appointment to apply for volunteer work with Lifeline on the phones. I have enough on my plate for now.
Thursday and Friday began the same way as Wednesday, with a screaming baby throughout the night. Again Kylie sent me to the spare room so I could sleep in order to work the following day. I was reasonably productive but Kylie was immensely tired by Friday night. It was a blessing that Annie slept all night without a sound on Friday.
Saturday we awoke, still tired from a huge week but refreshed enough to feel like the day could be a good one. We went to the park next to Wollongong City Beach for the children to practice on their bikes. As we arrived we saw police and SES workers all over the beach and headland. A helicopter was slowly flying along the coast. A drunk party-goer from overseas had gone for a swim in huge seas at 1am the night before and disappeared. We felt sad at the wasted life caused by a silly decision, but grateful for our family being together and safe.
Abbie, I have decided, is not ever going to be a champion athlete. Our little angel has many beautiful and special gifts and talents. But athleticism is not one of them. This poor little girl is not particularly good on a bike. In fact no matter how much time we spend practicing she cannot get it. And that’s WITH training wheels! I’m sure it will happen for her in time. But now is not the time! Ella on the other hand is amazing! She spent the morning zipping and zooming at great speed along the path. Chanel speculated that we may have a champion cyclist in the family, and it is not Chanel or I. Ella loves to run, swim, cycle, throw, jump, and so on. It was nice to see the girls play. And Annie developed a love for the slide and the swing at the park. She has not had many opportunities to use playground equipment, but I sense more visits will be necessary to keep her happy!
Today, Sunday, was the first day of standard time again. I love it when daylight savings is over. It seems natural and right to get up at 6.30am with the sun shining, and have it disappear at 7pm. And tonight was a joy to have the children sleeping before 7! Wow. Time to write, think, talk to Kylie, and relax. Beautiful.
Our morning was difficult. Annie has developed a rash. Rather than risk church we went to the doctor to be told it may be measles, rubella, or some other virus manifesting itself through a rash. The doc couldn’t be precise because it’s still too early. Fortunately Annie is sleeping now after such a tough week. Chanel was particularly troublesome and I didn’t cope well. We tried to resolve things – mediocre success. Then I took the kids to church (late), but my heart wasn’t in it today and I took little away from the meetings. Abbie gave a talk in primary which was cute. She is an amazingly sweet and good little child. This afternoon Chanel learned a lesson. Things go well when you listen to your parents, and they go bad when you don’t. After considerable time in her bedroom experiencing hubris, Chanel returned to our family much changed. A huge roast dinner with a happy family made for a perfect gift to complete our week.
Saturday the 28th was a tremendous day, perhaps even the highlight of the week. Kylie and I had planned on enjoying as much of a sleep-in and cuddle as possible. However Ella had me awake right on 6am. I put her back to bed and she settled into sleep quickly, but I was awake. I decided that I may as well go for my usual 70km Saturday ride. As I left the house little Annie awoke. That meant Kylie was awake too. My ride was great! I arrived home to find an annoyed wife, but she had created a beautifully clean home. Plus the family was ready to go hiking. I gobbled a banana sandwich down (not nearly enough) and we piled into the car. Kylie eventually forgave me for leaving her in the morning and our hike began.
Our Mt. Keira hike was a genuine adventure. My legs were already weary from the ride, so carrying Annie on my back for 5km up and down a mountain only added to the fatigue. Despite this, things went really well on the hike. We made dozens of stops along the way though. Leeches were everywhere. Fortunately I had brought the salt and it came in very handy. I think I probably removed somewhere between 100 and 150 leeches from Kylie and the girls. It was astounding. But the children were mostly very brave about it, and have learnt a lot about how leeches work.
I told them all about old Nanna Bunt (1903-2001 I think), Pop Bunt’s mum. When she was a young girl she used to go down to the local creek and allow the leeches to fasten themselves to her legs. Then she and her friends or siblings would remove the leeches and put them into jars to sell at the hospital. The children were comforted to know that nothing fatal would occur. It felt good to talk about a much-loved ancestor and pass on a small part of her life to the children.
Perhaps the scariest experience of our hike was the red-bellied black snake. Abbie was several metres ahead of everyone else, leading our family up the track. Kylie was next in line with Chanel. I was some distance back with Ella and Annie. Kylie stopped suddenly, frozen in her tracks. As I approached her, Kylie motioned towards the side of the track. Curled up in a neat bundle was a very long snake, watching the track – and Kylie. Abbie had already walked several metres past the snake. Should we call Abbie back to us or follow her past the snake? After some nervous moments we each walked past the snake, hugging the side of the path opposite the snake, hearts pounding through our chests. It watched us, tongue flicking in and out, but it never moved. We were relieved to finally reach the car again. Leeches were nothing compared to a red-bellied black snake!
When we finally returned to the car everyone’s shoes and socks were removed in search of more leeches. We compared blood stains in our socks before returning home for lunch to await mum and dad’s visit. They arrived late in the afternoon and we moved furniture around (having arranged for a new washing machine and freezer to be delivered to cater for the ongoing and growing needs of our family). Kylie and I were treated to dinner at a local restaurant for our anniversary while mum and dad looked after the children. We were so tired we were home by 9pm though! A terrific day.
Last Sunday I did something I’ve never done before. I sang with my dad. I love my dad’s singing and to share the experience with him was tremendous. We sang in sacrament meeting, Jesus the Very Thought of Thee.
O hope of every contrite heart, o joy of all the meek
To those who fall, how kind thou art. How good to those who seek.
There was no fanfare, and few comments from those who heard it. But a simple hymn was sung with a powerful and important message. It meant something to me. And it meant even more because I shared it with my dad. I don’t sing too well, but what made me feel great was singing with dad. Dad is one of the most beautiful singers I’ve heard. But despite the discrepancy between our ability’s, dad wasn’t too proud to sing with me. I was grateful for today’s time with him. Our afternoon with mum and dad was short but warm memories were created. Dad was in a great mood and joked with the children. Mum was relaxing a little and letting go of agendas and directives. A treat and blessing to share time with family.
This past week has been excruciating in its intensity. Monday we began the process of rearranging the house after mum and dad delivered many more furniture items than we had expected (or needed). I spent a weary day at university teaching. It was refreshing to take the children to the beach for Family Home Evening. We played in the water and on the sand for a couple of hours as we made use of the final Monday of daylight savings until next Spring.
Tuesday was busy at uni again, and in the evening we almost finished putting the billy-carts together for the young men at church. They’ve really enjoyed the activity and we’ve all learned a lot about handyman stuff.
Wednesday Kylie and I were not feeling great. Annie kept us up almost all night with high temperatures. Early morning (around 1am) Kylie had sent me off to the spare room so I could have a little bit of sleep. She stayed up with the baby. I don’t know how she functions on so little sleep. I arrived at uni bleary eyed and had just started working when the fire alarms went off. A ‘suspicious package’ had been found on the third floor so the building was evacuated for a couple of hours while the bomb squad were called. It was nothing other than an unwanted and irritable frustration in an already difficult morning. We cynically joked that it was likely to have been someone’s lunchbox left in a strange place and spotted by a paranoid security team member. I cancelled my appointment to apply for volunteer work with Lifeline on the phones. I have enough on my plate for now.
Thursday and Friday began the same way as Wednesday, with a screaming baby throughout the night. Again Kylie sent me to the spare room so I could sleep in order to work the following day. I was reasonably productive but Kylie was immensely tired by Friday night. It was a blessing that Annie slept all night without a sound on Friday.
Saturday we awoke, still tired from a huge week but refreshed enough to feel like the day could be a good one. We went to the park next to Wollongong City Beach for the children to practice on their bikes. As we arrived we saw police and SES workers all over the beach and headland. A helicopter was slowly flying along the coast. A drunk party-goer from overseas had gone for a swim in huge seas at 1am the night before and disappeared. We felt sad at the wasted life caused by a silly decision, but grateful for our family being together and safe.
Abbie, I have decided, is not ever going to be a champion athlete. Our little angel has many beautiful and special gifts and talents. But athleticism is not one of them. This poor little girl is not particularly good on a bike. In fact no matter how much time we spend practicing she cannot get it. And that’s WITH training wheels! I’m sure it will happen for her in time. But now is not the time! Ella on the other hand is amazing! She spent the morning zipping and zooming at great speed along the path. Chanel speculated that we may have a champion cyclist in the family, and it is not Chanel or I. Ella loves to run, swim, cycle, throw, jump, and so on. It was nice to see the girls play. And Annie developed a love for the slide and the swing at the park. She has not had many opportunities to use playground equipment, but I sense more visits will be necessary to keep her happy!
Today, Sunday, was the first day of standard time again. I love it when daylight savings is over. It seems natural and right to get up at 6.30am with the sun shining, and have it disappear at 7pm. And tonight was a joy to have the children sleeping before 7! Wow. Time to write, think, talk to Kylie, and relax. Beautiful.
Our morning was difficult. Annie has developed a rash. Rather than risk church we went to the doctor to be told it may be measles, rubella, or some other virus manifesting itself through a rash. The doc couldn’t be precise because it’s still too early. Fortunately Annie is sleeping now after such a tough week. Chanel was particularly troublesome and I didn’t cope well. We tried to resolve things – mediocre success. Then I took the kids to church (late), but my heart wasn’t in it today and I took little away from the meetings. Abbie gave a talk in primary which was cute. She is an amazingly sweet and good little child. This afternoon Chanel learned a lesson. Things go well when you listen to your parents, and they go bad when you don’t. After considerable time in her bedroom experiencing hubris, Chanel returned to our family much changed. A huge roast dinner with a happy family made for a perfect gift to complete our week.
Sunday, 22 March 2009
The week my PhD got hard
This is the week that my PhD got hard. For the past 14 months things have been lots of fun. I have felt confident and relaxed. While some difficulties have emerged I’ve been able to deal with them effectively and with relative ease. Until this week.
On Thursday or Friday last week I discovered that my results did not fit my model as I had expected. This was a blow. Theory that is not empirically supported can be hard to remain valid. But that was just the start. Monday was a rough day. Other than a 70 km ride before uni nothing in particular occurred, but I simply wasn’t doing too well. I didn’t teach particularly well, I accomplished very little, and generally felt lousy. Things disintegrated when I got home and the entire family suffered a fairly miserable night. We have days like that sometimes. To finish the night the missionaries came to my home to teach my friend, Kane. It didn’t go well. He argued about doctrine for 60 minutes before we called it a night. I wonder how much my bad day affected the Spirit of the evening.
Tuesday morning I arrived at uni and saw an email from the journal I had sent my article to. They’ve been reviewing it for close to 6 weeks. My hopes were not high, but I was ill-prepared for the decimation my paper was subjected to by the reviewers. This was a humbling experience. Brutal stuff. A friend commented to me that being a journal reviewer seems to bring out the Pharisee in academics as they almost gleefully disparage another for his or her faults. I spent three or four hours wallowing in self-pity. I sat in disbelief as I pondered the waste of time and effort the past 14 months have been. It appeared I had squandered my PhD to that point. Eventually I picked myself up out of the (metaphorical) dirt, dusted myself off, and got back to work. I picked through the review and re-wrote the comments in plain speak so I could more fully understand the points made. I considered my options. Then I hung my head and realised why people raise their eyebrows when they hear I’m doing a PhD. It is much harder than I anticipated, and than I have experienced to date. Despite the bad news I still had to supervise my honours student and teach classes. A tough day – again.
Tuesday evening I arrived home late – just in time to leave for Young Men’s activities. We commenced building billy-carts with the boys. To buy all of the material was crazily expensive, but so far, so good. They are all really excited, and we’re hopeful this plans will lead to a positive outcome. There are still a couple of weeks of building to go.
On Tuesday Kylie went for a bike ride on the tandem with the blind man. She gets lots out of it, and it makes his day. I can’t imagine what life would be like for him, and what a thrill it must be to ride at 30-40 km/h on the back of a bike. Chanel and Abbie participated in their cross-country races at school too. Abbie didn’t run so well. Participating in a competition is not particularly meaningful for her at this point in her life. It only seems like hard work! Chanel put in a huge effort and ran 3rd in her race. Another couple of centimetres would have clinched 2nd place. All of the swimming and riding seems to be helping her fitness, and Chanel was suitably pleased.
Wednesday brought with it the promise of a fresh start. My only problem was that I still didn’t know what to do which made it hard to start my fresh start. I met with my supervisors for an emergency meeting. They were marginally helpful. However, despite their lack of clear opinions and guidance the meeting helped me to crystallise my plan of attack and by the end of the day I had a firm action plan: take the comments from the reviewers and turn them into a more clearly written article, resubmit it to a more carefully targeted journal, and frame the data that doesn’t fit my model in terms of a heavily applied focus that show the usefulness of the concept. I have direction and focus again! It felt good, although a little overwhelming.
Ella enjoyed her speech pathology appointment on Wednesday. Our little girl is developing remarkably well despite her initial difficulties. It is very hard to believe that 12 months ago nobody could understand her. Today Ella is confident, outspoken, and full of positive energy. She is better in control of her moods because she knows we can understand her.
Thursday saw me feeling a little better about life. I spent the morning on the bike and did another 75 km. It was the toughest training session I have ever done. Three minute maximal efforts followed by 5 minutes rest. By the end of it I was wrecked. I stayed out too long and had very little time to work at uni for the morning. Some good news was that I checked my pay packet. I’m doing so much (too much) teaching, but the way it is reflected in my pay made me feel good. It’s a shame I only earn that money for five fortnights before the teaching runs out. I could enjoy living on that. Instead we’ll save as much as we can.
On Thursday afternoon I had organised an excursion to the brand new gerontology mental health unit at the Wollongong hospital. I was not particularly looking forward to it, especially with so much work to do. However, I kept the commitment. It ended up being an unexpectedly stimulating hour. I left with a real desire to do as well as I can so that I can be accepted into the clinical psychology programme next year. I found it fascinating. Back at uni I tried to get on with my work but got bogged down with marking. As I finished the pile I was interrupted by a course coordinator who asked me to teach a lecture on Tuesday morning – with only two business days to write it from scratch. And I have huge commitments on both of those days. I said yes, and then raced out the door to get home so Kylie could go out to help someone clean house before going to a Relief Society activity.
Our 11th wedding anniversary was Friday. We barely saw one another in the morning as we dashed about with work to be done. I was at uni early and taught my classes. I spent the afternoon preparing my lecture. I had to leave very early though as Kylie was going on a Relief Society camp – that’s right – on our anniversary! I arrived home and Kylie raced out the door. Abbie had come home from school after being sick all over the path in the schoolyard. Ella was complaining about being sick. Chanel had to get to bike bight at the velodrome. Annie was grizzly.
I bought Chickos for Chanel. I gave Abbie and Ella a movie to watch. Annie ate dinner and went to bed. Chanel’s coach and family took Chanel to the velodrome. I cooked Thai. Yum. I missed my wife, so I watched the football – two games of it. I also ate a couple of Cornettos and drank a 750ml ginger beer, plus I took care of a Turkish Delight. As enjoyable as it was, I still felt empty without Kylie being around.
When Kylie and I were engaged I recall a conversation we had about a song, “How do I live without you”. At the time I argued strongly against such neediness. I suggested that I never wanted to be so weak as to feel I could not live without someone. Instead I felt that my decision to be with someone was to be based solely on a choice due to my feeling positive with their presence. Over time I have learned a thing or two. I believe I was wrong. I believe that we are biologically and spiritually programmed to ‘need’ others in our lives; in a sense, to belong to someone. Doctrinally this is supported. God gave unto Adam an helpmeet, Eve. She was to be his companion. Paul taught that ‘neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man in the Lord.” We are supposed to be together, our hearts sealed or fastened to one another’s. As I suffered with loneliness on my wedding anniversary I realised just how much Kylie’s companionship means to me. And I wondered how I could live without her. While I’m sure I could, I hope never to have to. (Kylie just glanced over my shoulder and asked me to make sure she doesn’t sound like a villain. She really had to go the camp or no one would have been there from Wollongong so it was for a good cause that she left me – on our anniversary!)
Chanel arrived home at 10.40pm Friday night. She had ridden as hard as she could and continues to improve on the track. And she was asleep within five seconds of her head hitting the pillow.
At 7.30am Saturday we were awoken by Annie. Chanel was picked up to go to Emily Robinson’s birthday party. They went to the horses for the morning and the beach for the afternoon. That made my day easier. I did an illegal but very controlled burn off of branches that have been littering my yard for over a year. Abbie and Ella played with Carly, one of Abbie’s school friends. I worked on the bikes. Then we dashed off to the chapel so we could do a little more work on the billy carts.
Kylie arrived home at around 5.30 utterly exhausted. She had little positive to say about the camp. The large Polynesian membership have a very different culture and attitude to things than we do and Kylie had been frustrated by it. She had no sleep, ordinary food, poorly planned activities, and inconsiderate Tongans waking her up by slapping her face at 6.30am. I told her I would have slapped them back! We collapsed into bed early, ruing the fact that with four young daughters there is no such thing as a Sunday morning sleep in.
Sunday morning arrived too fast. We did our best, but missed most of sacrament meeting. The kids had a great time at church, but Kylie and I were not really in the frame of mind for it. We have days like that sometimes. In fact we have WEEKS like that sometimes. We had a family inventory where we took stock of how things are going. We resolved to be a little kinder to one another and to speak in softer voices. We committed to continue doing several things that are working well. It felt good to be together as a family for the first time in a week. And we talked to Chanel about having a boyfriend. At the moment it’s Daniel Anderson. We spoke of the importance of being friends with everyone, and not being exclusive friends with anyone, especially if they’re a boy, until she’s at least 18. I suggested 24 was a better idea but Chanel got upset with me. A hug, an apology, and a smile fixed that – and an adjustment back down to 18!
I’ve got around 15 minutes until I take the corned beef off the stove, and we as a family are looking forward to a jam-packed week ahead – full of challenges, blessing, and joy (with soft voices and kind hearts).
On Thursday or Friday last week I discovered that my results did not fit my model as I had expected. This was a blow. Theory that is not empirically supported can be hard to remain valid. But that was just the start. Monday was a rough day. Other than a 70 km ride before uni nothing in particular occurred, but I simply wasn’t doing too well. I didn’t teach particularly well, I accomplished very little, and generally felt lousy. Things disintegrated when I got home and the entire family suffered a fairly miserable night. We have days like that sometimes. To finish the night the missionaries came to my home to teach my friend, Kane. It didn’t go well. He argued about doctrine for 60 minutes before we called it a night. I wonder how much my bad day affected the Spirit of the evening.
Tuesday morning I arrived at uni and saw an email from the journal I had sent my article to. They’ve been reviewing it for close to 6 weeks. My hopes were not high, but I was ill-prepared for the decimation my paper was subjected to by the reviewers. This was a humbling experience. Brutal stuff. A friend commented to me that being a journal reviewer seems to bring out the Pharisee in academics as they almost gleefully disparage another for his or her faults. I spent three or four hours wallowing in self-pity. I sat in disbelief as I pondered the waste of time and effort the past 14 months have been. It appeared I had squandered my PhD to that point. Eventually I picked myself up out of the (metaphorical) dirt, dusted myself off, and got back to work. I picked through the review and re-wrote the comments in plain speak so I could more fully understand the points made. I considered my options. Then I hung my head and realised why people raise their eyebrows when they hear I’m doing a PhD. It is much harder than I anticipated, and than I have experienced to date. Despite the bad news I still had to supervise my honours student and teach classes. A tough day – again.
Tuesday evening I arrived home late – just in time to leave for Young Men’s activities. We commenced building billy-carts with the boys. To buy all of the material was crazily expensive, but so far, so good. They are all really excited, and we’re hopeful this plans will lead to a positive outcome. There are still a couple of weeks of building to go.
On Tuesday Kylie went for a bike ride on the tandem with the blind man. She gets lots out of it, and it makes his day. I can’t imagine what life would be like for him, and what a thrill it must be to ride at 30-40 km/h on the back of a bike. Chanel and Abbie participated in their cross-country races at school too. Abbie didn’t run so well. Participating in a competition is not particularly meaningful for her at this point in her life. It only seems like hard work! Chanel put in a huge effort and ran 3rd in her race. Another couple of centimetres would have clinched 2nd place. All of the swimming and riding seems to be helping her fitness, and Chanel was suitably pleased.
Wednesday brought with it the promise of a fresh start. My only problem was that I still didn’t know what to do which made it hard to start my fresh start. I met with my supervisors for an emergency meeting. They were marginally helpful. However, despite their lack of clear opinions and guidance the meeting helped me to crystallise my plan of attack and by the end of the day I had a firm action plan: take the comments from the reviewers and turn them into a more clearly written article, resubmit it to a more carefully targeted journal, and frame the data that doesn’t fit my model in terms of a heavily applied focus that show the usefulness of the concept. I have direction and focus again! It felt good, although a little overwhelming.
Ella enjoyed her speech pathology appointment on Wednesday. Our little girl is developing remarkably well despite her initial difficulties. It is very hard to believe that 12 months ago nobody could understand her. Today Ella is confident, outspoken, and full of positive energy. She is better in control of her moods because she knows we can understand her.
Thursday saw me feeling a little better about life. I spent the morning on the bike and did another 75 km. It was the toughest training session I have ever done. Three minute maximal efforts followed by 5 minutes rest. By the end of it I was wrecked. I stayed out too long and had very little time to work at uni for the morning. Some good news was that I checked my pay packet. I’m doing so much (too much) teaching, but the way it is reflected in my pay made me feel good. It’s a shame I only earn that money for five fortnights before the teaching runs out. I could enjoy living on that. Instead we’ll save as much as we can.
On Thursday afternoon I had organised an excursion to the brand new gerontology mental health unit at the Wollongong hospital. I was not particularly looking forward to it, especially with so much work to do. However, I kept the commitment. It ended up being an unexpectedly stimulating hour. I left with a real desire to do as well as I can so that I can be accepted into the clinical psychology programme next year. I found it fascinating. Back at uni I tried to get on with my work but got bogged down with marking. As I finished the pile I was interrupted by a course coordinator who asked me to teach a lecture on Tuesday morning – with only two business days to write it from scratch. And I have huge commitments on both of those days. I said yes, and then raced out the door to get home so Kylie could go out to help someone clean house before going to a Relief Society activity.
Our 11th wedding anniversary was Friday. We barely saw one another in the morning as we dashed about with work to be done. I was at uni early and taught my classes. I spent the afternoon preparing my lecture. I had to leave very early though as Kylie was going on a Relief Society camp – that’s right – on our anniversary! I arrived home and Kylie raced out the door. Abbie had come home from school after being sick all over the path in the schoolyard. Ella was complaining about being sick. Chanel had to get to bike bight at the velodrome. Annie was grizzly.
I bought Chickos for Chanel. I gave Abbie and Ella a movie to watch. Annie ate dinner and went to bed. Chanel’s coach and family took Chanel to the velodrome. I cooked Thai. Yum. I missed my wife, so I watched the football – two games of it. I also ate a couple of Cornettos and drank a 750ml ginger beer, plus I took care of a Turkish Delight. As enjoyable as it was, I still felt empty without Kylie being around.
When Kylie and I were engaged I recall a conversation we had about a song, “How do I live without you”. At the time I argued strongly against such neediness. I suggested that I never wanted to be so weak as to feel I could not live without someone. Instead I felt that my decision to be with someone was to be based solely on a choice due to my feeling positive with their presence. Over time I have learned a thing or two. I believe I was wrong. I believe that we are biologically and spiritually programmed to ‘need’ others in our lives; in a sense, to belong to someone. Doctrinally this is supported. God gave unto Adam an helpmeet, Eve. She was to be his companion. Paul taught that ‘neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man in the Lord.” We are supposed to be together, our hearts sealed or fastened to one another’s. As I suffered with loneliness on my wedding anniversary I realised just how much Kylie’s companionship means to me. And I wondered how I could live without her. While I’m sure I could, I hope never to have to. (Kylie just glanced over my shoulder and asked me to make sure she doesn’t sound like a villain. She really had to go the camp or no one would have been there from Wollongong so it was for a good cause that she left me – on our anniversary!)
Chanel arrived home at 10.40pm Friday night. She had ridden as hard as she could and continues to improve on the track. And she was asleep within five seconds of her head hitting the pillow.
At 7.30am Saturday we were awoken by Annie. Chanel was picked up to go to Emily Robinson’s birthday party. They went to the horses for the morning and the beach for the afternoon. That made my day easier. I did an illegal but very controlled burn off of branches that have been littering my yard for over a year. Abbie and Ella played with Carly, one of Abbie’s school friends. I worked on the bikes. Then we dashed off to the chapel so we could do a little more work on the billy carts.
Kylie arrived home at around 5.30 utterly exhausted. She had little positive to say about the camp. The large Polynesian membership have a very different culture and attitude to things than we do and Kylie had been frustrated by it. She had no sleep, ordinary food, poorly planned activities, and inconsiderate Tongans waking her up by slapping her face at 6.30am. I told her I would have slapped them back! We collapsed into bed early, ruing the fact that with four young daughters there is no such thing as a Sunday morning sleep in.
Sunday morning arrived too fast. We did our best, but missed most of sacrament meeting. The kids had a great time at church, but Kylie and I were not really in the frame of mind for it. We have days like that sometimes. In fact we have WEEKS like that sometimes. We had a family inventory where we took stock of how things are going. We resolved to be a little kinder to one another and to speak in softer voices. We committed to continue doing several things that are working well. It felt good to be together as a family for the first time in a week. And we talked to Chanel about having a boyfriend. At the moment it’s Daniel Anderson. We spoke of the importance of being friends with everyone, and not being exclusive friends with anyone, especially if they’re a boy, until she’s at least 18. I suggested 24 was a better idea but Chanel got upset with me. A hug, an apology, and a smile fixed that – and an adjustment back down to 18!
I’ve got around 15 minutes until I take the corned beef off the stove, and we as a family are looking forward to a jam-packed week ahead – full of challenges, blessing, and joy (with soft voices and kind hearts).
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