Back into Routine

(Abbie May, age 7, wet, cold, and happy! At Kesh's 23rd Birthday Party, Booker Bay. July 2010).

Monday presented our first significant challenge of the week. After my decision to “fire” our plumber in the days prior, he showed up at our home. He had not heard my message, left on his phone in fury after we discovered our shower leaking behind our new walls, into our floor and onto our lower level ceiling. Kylie subsequently spoke with him at length and “re-employed” him to complete our work. He agreed to come back 8 days later to finalise things. When I found out that Kylie had done this I was angry. But Kylie did not like leaving things the way they were and I accepted that. I called him to explain that our family needed a bathroom that worked much sooner than the eight days he wanted us to wait. He asked me to call him back. Two hours later I did so. He and I engaged in a lengthy conversation which ended with me inviting him to decide if he wished to work for us anymore or not. He chose not to return. This saga ended with Kylie and I feeling drained. I actually felt “dirty”. The conversation was an unhappy one. I do not like it when relationships end so badly.

We had many misunderstandings over the work he was to do and the money he was to be paid. The misunderstandings went both ways, but he consistently chose not to communicate with us. My communications and expectations offended him. I was left with a quote in my mind from Irving Becker. A good friend, WG, loves to share this quote about the difficulty of being human: “If you don’t like someone, the way he holds his spoon will make you furious. If you do like him, he can turn his plate over in your lap and you won’t mind.” Our plumber seems to have been holding his spoon the wrong way, and he seems not to have liked the way we held our spoons either.

Tuesday saw us arise gloomy. We barely slept because of the conflict of the previous night. However, our new plumber visited. He confirmed to us that our fears concerning our old plumber were justified. This was disappointing, but also gave us hope that we could move forward and finalise this difficult renovation. That day I went to work and commenced data collection at a local swimming pool where parents sit with nothing to do while their children swim. In one week I’ve collected data from nearly 150 parents. This is a worthwhile use of my time – if only my data will work out!

Tuesday morning was also the resumption of school for the children. Kylie and I have worked hard to create a new routine and schedule. We implemented it with precision all week and are delighted with how well it is working. The children are out the door every morning by 8.30am. We’ve had scripture study as a family, the children have practiced the piano, we’ve all eaten, and the house is relatively tidy. In the evenings we’ve eaten by 6.30 and the children are in bed by 7.30. It feels great. (If I hadn’t stayed up to watch the Tour de France it would feel even better!)

On Tuesday Kylie received some sad news from her mum. Kylie’s grandfather (in NZ) is particularly unwell. Kylie asked the children to write him a letter. They’ve never met him and were a little bit apprehensive. Their letters were finally written and were heartfelt letters of love, hope, and kindness. After Abbie had written her letter, Kylie found her crying. Abbie explained that she was sad her grandfather was not well, and just wanted to meet him and hug him and tell him that she loved him. We are so deeply grateful for Abbie’s tenderness.

We have adored watching our Lilli Emma grow. Already it seems that she is no longer a little baby. At 3.5 months of age she is big and healthy and happy. There is no other feeling like staring into the face and eyes of such an amazing, perfect little child. Her smile lifts my soul. We are awaiting news on some tests that Lilli is to have. There are some concerns over her development with her vision and sight. We are hopeful that she will be given an “all clear” from the specialists.


(Chanel Lauren, age 10. Wet, cold, and loving it! Kesh's 23rd Birthday Bash at Booker Bay. July 2010).

Annie Grace seems to be finally readjusting to life in our home. After several challenging months we are seeing her return to her previously delightful self. Perhaps it has something to do with our improved routine, the lack of building work going on, and the fact that our home is less “broken” than it has been lately. Annie loves to talk on the phone. When it rings, be prepared to spend time talking to Annie – or should I say, listening to Annie. When Annie holds the phone, she doesn’t place it anywhere near her ear. She puts it in front of her mouth and talks… and talks, and talks! No matter what you say to her, she will not hear. She simply talks. It’s so funny, and she gets so excited. I love hearing her talk to me. Her little voice prattles on, and cracks as she gets excited! She gasps for air in between long sentences. Her enthusiasm and love of life is elevating.

Saturday morning I did something a little crazy. After trying to have a good night’s sleep, I arose a little after 4am, dressed in my bike clothes, and braved the cold and rain as I rode north to Gosford. The trip is approximately 172kms. On my previous attempt I made it to Berowra. I was determined to do better on this trip. I paced myself, ate well, and managed the ride in 6 hours and one minute precisely. My avg speed was 28.6km/h. By the time I was at my final 30kms I was starting to question my sanity, but as I rode the final climb I felt almost euphoric. I had done it!

The family arrived in Gosford around an hour after I did, and we had a delightful time with the entire family as we celebrated Kesh’s birthday. Between Tim and Kesh’s siblings there were about 20 children under the age of 12 there! With all the adults thrown in as well, there was quite a crowd. Kylie and I were enjoying time together, and chatted with everyone before we noticed that there were no children to be seen. Tim and Kesh had walked them down to the beach, about 500 metres away from their unit. I wandered off, wanting to ensure that everything was fine. It was a beautiful day, but despite the sunshine it’s the middle of winter. The air was cold. When I got to the beach I found Tim, Kesh, and 20 children, all as happy as can be. But the children were shivering – and dripping wet! They’d ended up swimming in their clothes!


(Ella Rose, doing what her big sisters did! Age 6)

I was annoyed, but had to laugh about it for two reasons. First, the kids were simply thrilled they’d been swimming, despite the freezing cold water and the chilly day. Second, Tim and Kesh have no children so they thought letting the kids play in the water was fun. But I knew that if I was a little annoyed, there would be some very upset parents back at the house. Sure enough… Tim and Kesh copped it from those who had long drives ahead of them. No one had spare clothes, and no one wanted wet, sandy children in their cars. In spite of it all, the children had fun, and Tim and Kesh did their best. I think I must be calming down as I get older, because within just a few moments I could see the funny side of it all. Plus, while the kids were cold, they were happy.

We stayed overnight Saturday at mum and dad’s place and went to church in Gosford. Church was uplifting. It’s been some time since I’ve really been able to say that with conviction. Often it’s a drain. The children, the responsibilities, and the lack of inspiring material leave me feeling worn out more than uplifted on many a week. But this Sunday was different. Talks were meaningful and well-prepared. Even though they were not particularly relevant to me, I enjoyed them. And the music was uplifting. As we sang ‘Secret Prayer’ to close the meeting, the chorus was sung loudly, with purpose. It filled me.



I had an inspiring catch-up with Mat Steinwede. I appreciated his effort in spending time with me and sharing ideas about projects I’d almost given up on. And we had a traditional Sunday roast with mum. The kids played with their cousins all afternoon too. Our girls love their cousins, and they play surprisingly well.
We left the Central Coast tired, but feeling great. We have a plan and it’s working. Our children are healthy and happy. We feel blessed.