Impatience

This update was commenced three weeks ago. Time got away and I’m only just finishing it now. So it starts with our Sunday night, June 3^rd and continues through until now.

I remember last week’s roast dinner and peach crumble all too well. Sunday night (June 3^rd) after I went to bed feeling that the world couldn’t be a better place – well, things began to turn sour. I awoke shortly after 1am and was as violently ill as I can remember being. I spent the entire first day of the week entombed in my bedroom, fasting and trying to recover from the bug that made me feel so bad.

Tuesday I forced myself to go to work, a particularly noble feat given my lack of enthusiasm for what I’m doing. I was miserable and should have stayed home.

Wednesday was the highlight of my week. I had two business meetings in Sydney. My first meeting led to a tentative proposal for me to add value to a business that specialises in happiness. They focus on individual and organisational happiness, but not on family happiness and wellbeing. I thought they might be interested in how I could make a difference. The meeting was positive, and now it’s time to see if we can agree on the finer points of an arrangement that will hopefully be good for both of us. I also met with someone who is highly successful at taking training programs to major organisations. After 30 minutes with me I realised just how much work is involved, got a great deal of direction, and began to question if that specific strategy is what I really want to be involved in. The money is substantial, but the business itself is less appealing to me.

Wednesday night after I returned from Sydney Kylie showed me how she had spent her day. Hours of careful attention with needle and thread have led to the creation of beautiful dolls, cushions, and bedroom accessories for the girls’ rooms. Kylie is slowly making our house into a personalised haven for our children. (And I’m starting to feel pressure to paint the place!)

Thursday I tried out my body by going for an early ride. My body was unhappy with me. I came home early and decided to have a little more rest before I get too active. Monday’s illness hit me harder than I thought. I spent another day at work dreaming of the parenting business I’m about to be running. My enthusiasm for the latter and my apathy toward the latter is a gulf too wide to describe. My heart and mind have already left the office despite the fact that my contract doesn’t end until late July.

Friday was quiet, with a family walk on the beach in the afternoon the clear highlight. The weekend was uneventful and less inspiring than I would have hoped.

The fortnight since that time has been a blur. Another couple of days off work due to “illness”... I think I’m sick of work! Some positives have included that I’ve done a handful of media interviews about various things parenting-related. I’ve ridden my bike a little more than I should have. And I’ve become increasingly frustrated with the time I spend at work that competes with my growing desire to be in business for myself. It’s a recurrent theme.

I’m now writing a LOT for various people who print magazines and blogs, both online and offline. It’s great for raising my profile but not so great when it comes to raising capital. I write for free. But I’m mixing with good company and I’m consistently making small but certain progress.

As for the family, we are thrilled with Chanel and her school performance. Chanel turns 13 in October – nearly a teenager. Her half-yearly report was full of plaudits from teachers, and a stream of A’s. We’ve let Chanel know that our expectations have increased for her school work now that she’s in high school and her response has been excellent. We’re delighted with how well she is going. She is making good choices in her studies. Her social choices are also improving, in spite of some challenging situations. Chanel has a mature head and we are proud of her.

Abbie is as delightful as ever. I don’t think we ever have a problem with Abbie. Abbie turns 10 the same day Chanel turns 13. She is the easiest child I’ve ever known. While she has a stubborn streak, it rarely surfaces. She is a willing helper, conscientious student, and simply a treasure.

Ella and Abbie share their room, and they share a love of reading. Their heads are always in books. But that’s about all they share. Ella is a literal typhoon. We always know Ella’s around because of her energy. She is either screaming her head off or laughing her head off. We live in a world of extremes around Miss Ella. Ella is known to disappear to any one of a handful of friends’ homes as soon as chores are divvied out. We spend a lot of time calling out “Ella” and wondering where she’s gone. Oh, and Ella has an appetite as big as mine. It’s amazing to watch this 8 year-old eat more food than anyone else at the table. We see unparalleled enthusiasm and energy in that girl.

Annie is potentially the happiest child we know. She loves to laugh and play. This afternoon Annie, who is five in August, went into the toy room for two hours on her own and played. She sang made-up nonsense songs to herself, played with toys and dolls, and amused herself the entire time and was as happy as can be. This morning I rang Nanna Bunt and let her listen in as I did “Round and round the garden” and “This little piggy” on Annie’s hands and feet. It was ten minutes of rapturous giggling from Annie as she finished my sentences and I feigned annoyance and told her that ‘now I have to start all over again.’ 

Lilli is a couple of months past two. She hates wearing clothes. It’s the middle of winter but all she wants to do is undress. She is entirely potty trained so long as she’s naked, but with clothes or a nappy the potty may as well not exist. Lilli lives in a relatively quiet world. She’s picking up words, but quite slowly. She is beautifully soft and loves cuddles. In fact, I’ve determined that there really is no cuddle as good as a cuddle from little kids. I love cuddles from Annie and Lilli more than any cuddles from anyone. There’s something so pure and perfect about cuddles from little children that is different to any other cuddle. So I’m getting as many as I can before they get too big.

Kylie continues to amaze me. Her workload is substantial with her Church calling, five children, the house, and ME! To keep this place clean, stay on top of the washing, serve so many people who are needy, and still be supportive of me is a ridiculous workload. When I try it for a night or two I struggle. I don’t know how Kylie does it day in and day out.

So that’s about it for now. Today we had a beautiful start to the day. Church was ok until priesthood, and then it was exceptional. We discussed a great talk about mercy by President Uchtdorf. Super lesson. This afternoon we had a house full of missionaries, investigators, and friends. We ate Kylie’s treats (melting moments and chocolate caramel slice). Our home teachers visited, and then we ate roast chicken and vegetables. So while I’m not quite where I want to be, we’re getting closer, slowly. And I still have plenty to be grateful for.