Sunday 14th February, 2010
I am savouring a week of blessings and joy, as exhaustion slowly absorbs me. The past seven days have been nothing short of exceptional.
Monday was a relatively ordinary day, beginning with a 90km ride in the rain. I spent the day at uni preparing a presentation due to be presented on Friday. Our Family Home Evening on Monday night was simple, short, and not memorable.
Tuesday I rode a hard 50km before uni. Final presentation preparations were made. A long lunch was attended celebrating a fellow PhD students’ completion of her thesis. It was costly, too long, but enjoyable. The afternoon was spent playing mechanic with my bike after all the riding in the rain. Then I raced home to race out to Young Mens. The boys had their first learn-to-surf lesson with me as teacher. To say they were a spectacular failure would not put too fine a point on it. But I always maintain that anyone who is, today, good at something, was once poor at it. My encouragement may have fallen on deaf ears though. None of our young men share my love of the ocean. The evening was one of the most beautiful nights I can recall. I wished that Kylie and the children were there. Warm water, perfect sky, stunning sunset.
Wednesday I rode with my friends until lunch time (around 80kms) before returning to work. After a few hours I decided enough was enough. My presentation could be refined no more without me going batty! So I worked briefly on my next project, and then called it quits. We picked the children up from school and went to the beach. Chanel, Ella, and Abbie caught waves on their boogie boards for two hours. The delight they experienced catching waves and the delight Kylie and I felt as we watched them were beyond words. We ate Chickos for dinner, despite the negative impact it has on our budget. We were too tired out from too much fun at the beach.
Thursday morning I rode 60kms and arrived home in time to take the children to school. The architect came and reviewed the renovation plans with us. We are excited to start changing things! Our plans go to council in the coming fortnight. I packed my bags, ate lunch, and Kylie and Annie drove me to the airport for my flight to Melbourne. Because my little sister Rachel lives in Melbourne, we met and ate Mexican for dinner – too much Mexican! I don’t remember being so full, ever!
Friday morning I went for a short 45km ride before attending day one of the 2nd Australian Positive Psychology and Wellbeing Conference. While I gleaned a few gems, I was generally disappointed with the first day. It lacked scientific rigour, was too focussed on “happy-ology” and failed to satisfy. In spite of this, there were three specific highlights that made the trip to Melbourne completely worthwhile!
First, following the morning’s proceedings I came across Professor Christopher Petersen. The man is arguably the second biggest name in the positive psychology area. Put simply, he is top dog, or close to it. I introduced myself and politely indicated that I have a deep concern with the focus positive psychology puts on the individual, the workplace, the classroom, and the fact that after over a decade there is still no significant research being done with respect to “families” and what makes for optimal outcomes. He was thoughtful, before agreeing with me and describing some beginnings that he is aware of. I told him of my research and said I would be presenting later that day. He volunteered to attend, and confirmed his genuine interest! And he showed up as promised. I was grateful I was prepared well! The second highlight of day one, for me, was that my presentation was a success and well received. It also reminded me that an academic career is not going to light me up the way a career built on teaching and sharing with others will.
The third highlight of the day was at dinner. A friend from uni (who is also doing a PhD), his friend (an English PhD student), and I sat down to eat and were approached by an older lady, probably in her early 60’s. She asked if she could join us and we happily said yes, not knowing who she was. As she sat down she asked how we felt about the conference. I was upfront. As I completed my negative judgement of the day I saw her nametag. Professor Felicia Huppert is a Cambridge University Professor of Psychology who has done just about everything! And here I am spruiking my critical opinion… to my relief she agreed entirely. She then spent an entire TWO HOURS talking with the three of us in one of the most wonderful, stimulating conversations I have ever had! We talked about research and ideas, issues and concerns. It was riveting. What amazed me in both of the big experiences of the day was the willingness of “big” people to divest themselves of ego and engage and connect with young, inexperienced, and relatively uneducated people like me. Their humility and generosity made my day.
Saturday morning I had one of the hardest rides I can remember. I rode about 80km from Melbourne to Frankston and back with about 150 other riders. I think our average speed was close to 45km/h. The entire ride was done in around 2 hours. I had an additional 20km to do in order to get to Rachel’s apartment and clean up for the conference, so it was another big day on the bike.
Sadly, again, the conference itself disappointed, although it was a definite improvement on day one! Chris Petersen talked with me for around 30 minutes, discussing his thoughts on my project and presentation. It was a privilege to receive that kind of attention from one of the world’s leading minds in my area. We covered some terrific material. I arrived at the airport, courtesy of Rachel again, exhausted and eager to be with my family. Kylie met me at 9pm back in Sydney and we drove through the heat and rain to Wollongong. Clean sheets are a delight and I slept heavily.
While I was in Melbourne Ella completed her second week of school. We are seeing her flourish there. Her development is unmistakable, and her teacher is beautifully supportive. We have so much to be grateful for in Mrs. Morgan. Chanel competed on Friday night and won her racing on the track. And Abbie began to play songs with two hands on the piano in her Saturday morning lesson.
Saturday was the Karis Removals Christmas party – at Jamberoo park, just down the road from us. Mum and dad invited the family and the children had a wonderful time. Unfortunately Kylie slipped and fell and hurt herself. Sunday was not much better and a quick visit to the maternity unit was completed for reassurance that all was well. Only about 9 weeks until our new baby is with us in person! We can’t wait.
Sunday was a treat, despite being completely tired out. Sacrament meeting was a time of reflection. I took Kylie to the hospital during Sunday School class. Then I taught the young men about the eternal importance of families. As we contemplated the prospect of eternal families and the importance of our families in mortality I struggled to hold my emotions in check. The boys and other leaders were visibly moved, and the day ended with deep Spiritual feelings of love.
This afternoon the children have played games together, splashed in puddles in the rain, read books, and been entirely delightful! Our roast dinner is about to be served. And I cannot help but be grateful for remarkable joy, abundance, and grace in my life.
To conclude, some of the random positive and useful thoughts that came from the conference…
“We need to move from a welfare economy to a wellbeing economy”
“We need to move from consuming material goods to non-material goods”
5 ways to wellbeing: Need to connect; Be active; Take notice; Keep learning; Give.
We need to eliminate the competitive model in organisations and education. Cooperate, not compete.
Vision without action is merely a dream, Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.
Songs express who we are and how we feel, they bring us closer to others, they keep us company when we are alone. They articulate our beliefs and values, and they bear witness to our lives. Songs weave tales of our joys and sorrows, they reveal our innermost secrets, and they express our hopes and disappointments, our fears and triumphs. They are our musical diaries, our life stories. They are the sounds of our personal development.
Cruelty in almost every case is related to inattentiveness. If we truly pay attention we are far more likely to be compassionate.
Trying to control an emotion is very different to learning not to let an emotion control you.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves – Einstein.
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