The Best Night in Forty Years

My week started as drearily as most weeks nowadays. I find my work ‘not that bad’ but not that good either. I think the fact that it is not that bad may actually be a problem – a trap to keep me there because it’s not quite bad enough to motivate me to move. Monday, I was able to break up my regular work with my first of nine lectures to third year students on the psychology of happiness and wellbeing. I left the hour-long lecture feeling ebullient, and began thinking that perhaps the academic life is where I should be. My roller-coaster of career strivings has created unexpected and random thoughts that continually plague me. I also had an article about my research published on the Psychology Today website which was a thrill. It’s the biggest Psychology website in the world, so it was nice to get a Guernsey and further consolidated my feeling that the academic life could be for me. Nothing can draw me in like success and feeling good. It also added to the questions I had about my previous decisions.

Monday night we took our Family Home Evening to the home of an elderly couple in our ward. We visited, left some treats behind, and the children sang them some songs. As we left, Brother E. shook our hands and with tears in his eyes told us that “in forty years in the Church, this was the nicest, most heart-felt, kindest visit he has ever had.” We felt grateful to make a difference in their life.

After Family Home Evening Kylie and I had more long conversations about my future, based on my positive lecture experience. A conversation with mum had frustrated me and confused me even more. Mum is adamant I should leave academia. I understand her motives and logic, and have leant in that direction all along. However, being so emphatically told what I should do left me feeling forced into a decision, and made me want to push against it. I shared my frustration with Kylie. We talked about my love of lecturing, my natural curiosity and interest in research, my dislike of all other aspects of academic life, and my alternatives. We spoke of mum’s overt and explicit interest in helping me be happy by going in the direction she feels I would benefit most by taking, and my desire to make my decision independently, but with Heaven’s help. Kylie was amazing. After expressing faith in the way we have previously received Heaven’s direction, Kylie confidently assured me that it will continue. We know we will be guided and blessed. We can look forward to the future with hope. I have a wife who leaves me awestruck with her capacity and wisdom.

Tuesday evening we had the missionaries in our home to teach discussions to a recent Chinese Church convert. He is very poor and doesn’t seem to eat during the rest of the week, but boy does he make up for it when he visits our home. I think he ate 8 or 9 chicken drumsticks and two large plates of fried rice. Fortunately we were prepared. It was a nice night, but my exhaustion got the better of me and I fell asleep in the armchair nursing a tired Annie while the missionaries taught.

Wednesday, (my day off) saw me writing and working early. I took a break in the middle of the day to pull my bike apart, clean it and re-grease it (because of all the rain recently). Then I went back to uni and lectured again. This time is was on theories of happiness. I came out of the lecture on a bigger high than I had been on after my first one. I LOVE lecturing this subject.

Thursday was relatively quiet. A long, steady day at work that left me feeling terribly unfulfilled and disappointed. Too many biscuits that gave me a dissatisfying sugar rush. And a church meeting in the evening that ran far too late and accomplished far too little. We spent more time talking about whether women should be allowed to wear slacks in the chapel than we spent talking about how to help people who are struggling in faith or in other ways.

Friday I had the hardest ride under 100kms I’ve possibly ever had. Up at 3.30am and on the bike by 4am, I set over 20 personal best times at different segments of the ride and feel as though I’m getting stronger and stronger. I raced into work, had meetings, then caught the train to Sydney for a World Congress of Families meeting. I left the meeting early so I could visit with Nanna Bunt for her 83^rd birthday. I wished I could have been there longer, but Kylie and I were scheduled to visit the temple too, since it’s so close and we’re rarely up that way. So after a visit that had barely begun we had to fight the traffic to get to Carlingford. It was beautiful to be in the temple, although I struggled to stay away, given the enormous day I’d had. We were grateful to mum for taking care of the children so we could be in the temple. We snuck in a tasty pizza for dinner, and enjoyed five minutes with Dad as well.

Saturday Kylie and I worked hard getting the house in order after a huge week. Cars cleaned inside and out, polished, and so on. Two bikes cleaned and regreased. Lawns mowed. The garage rearranged as well, so now we can fit both our cars in it. That is exciting. And Kylie and I watched True Grit once the kids were in bed. It was ok. I give it 2.5 stars.

Sunday began with perfect clear skies, happy and clean children, and barely anything on the agenda. Sacrament meeting was uplifting – families was the topic. We sang a family musical item. Our priesthood class was average. I had not prepared enough. However there was a feeling of unity and togetherness that we have rarely felt previously. I left the room feeling better for having been there. A quick visit to a family I home teach stretched into an enjoyable hour-long conversation. A quiet afternoon with the family enjoying one another. It was a wonderful day.

I have to quickly mention how well the children are doing. Chanel is flourishing at High School. She recently got 59/60 on a French test, and is doing really well in her other subjects. We are delighted to see the remarkable young lady she is growing into. She is even getting a few babysitting jobs now.

Abbie was elected as the Student Representative Councillor for Grade 4 at school this week. Her peers expressed confidence in her. Abbie is conscientious, and a quiet achiever with the most delightful laugh I have ever heard.

Ella is delightful with her sisters and engaged in her Grade 2 classroom. We love her to bits. I am regularly told by friends that Ella is their favourite in spite of her outbursts and emotional regulation challenges. She is possibly our most tender and soft-hearted daughter. Her intellect is dizzying but often hidden by her lack of inhibition.

Annie is simply awesome. She is delightful in every way. She is considerate, soft, and loves hugs. Her enthusiasm is contagious, and she has the cutest little lisp ever. And Lilli is possibly the most gorgeous baby we have ever had. We love Lilli beyond words.

Now a new week is about to start. I’ll hopefully visit with Nan and Pop, make another family’s Monday night, finish editing my book for once and for all, spend some time creating a product for my business, write an Op-Ed piece for the Sydney Morning Herald, and who knows what else.