Interpersonal Challenges

We’ve just had a fairly quiet week, which is nice now and then. Chanel competed in her district swimming carnival on Wednesday. I took the day off uni to be with her. It turns out that Chanel is the 18th fastest girl turning 9 this year in 50m freestyle, and the 10th fastest in 50m butterfly. It was so much fun to watch Chanel swim. She felt reasonably pleased with her efforts, and we were thrilled for her.
I got to do some surfing (four times this week). On Thursday it was particularly exciting. Very big, more than double overhead. Great fun. I’m really getting into my surfing, but Kylie has said that I have to limit myself to once per week. Too much petrol! Hard to cope with, but I’ll see how it goes. Perhaps we can make it twice a week, if I smile just right.

I had a challenging interpersonal issue arise this week. Someone I share an office with decided to tell me she wasn’t comfortable sharing an office with me. I was shocked, as I thought things were going remarkably well. While part of me was all too willing to be offended, my better nature took over. I thanked her, invited her suggestions for how things might be improved, and assured her that I had no concerns with her. I shared my feelings about her strengths and why it was positive for me to be in the same office as her. Then I left it to her to decide whether we should seek for me to be relocated.

The next day I discovered that she was willing to leave things as they are. We had a very positive conversation. It also turned out that when she moved into the office over three years ago it took over a year for her to be comfortable with a guy there. And several months when the last girl moved in. So, I’m going well! She’s ok with me after just 4 or 5 weeks! Clearly there’s more to it than I know, but being as soft, understanding and supportive as I could made a big difference.

The situation shook me up a little though. Being told you make someone feel so uncomfortable they have migraines and can’t come to work isn’t good for the ego. It also made me question a few things about my study. I realised I really have no idea what I’m doing. I began to feel a little lost. Then I decided that was probably correct. At this point I should be lost. And even though I don’t really know what I’m doing, I know why I’m doing it. I think that’s more important, and I think that will get me further.

I spent a few hours trying to get the Internet connected wirelessly this week. No joy. Hopefully we’ll make more progress this week.

Speaking of progress, I have my fingers crossed that we’ll finally have our oven installed this week. It’s 8 weeks since we moved in and it’s still not done. This is driving me crazy! So it the heap of rubbish next to the carport that we’ve been asking to have moved. Renting is no fun. And we still don’t know what’s happening with the motorbike. It’s in QLD, and should be either painted or sold. At this point it is neither painted nor sold. I’ve been without it over two months and things are about to come to a climax! Hopefully by next week I’ll be able to report that I have sold the bike, gotten rid of the rubbish, and am cooking a roast! I hope…

Last night it was off to the chapel for a 70th birthday party as a surprise for one of the older ladies in the congregation. It was a lot of fun. We are making some great friends down here in Wollongong, and feeling increasingly comfortable here. But I think I had too many lemonades. Dehydration and headaches today! If lemonade does that, I’m grateful I don’t drink. I don’t think my constitution would let me survive!

Two more quick comments. Firstly, I LOVE what I’m studying. The research on happiness is entirely stimulating for me. I am thrilled to be paid a scholarship to think! I think all day. Mostly I’m thinking about what purposeful positive relationship behaviours are critical for families to flourish. It is invigorating.

Secondly, I LOVE the opportunity to be teaching at church again. It seems to have been some time since I’ve had that opportunity. While the young men I teach do not get anywhere near as much out of what I’m saying, it feels so good to teach Truth.

Swimming and Snails

What a fortnight!

We have enjoyed so many blessings, and had so many terrific experiences that it’s hard to know where to begin.

Chanel is becoming a superstar! Our big girl has settled in remarkably quickly at her new school and is doing extremely well scholastically. While Chanel doesn’t have much motivation to work hard, and usually procrastinates as much as possible, she performs at a very high standard. She also loves to play! She spends as much time in the backyard, up trees, or on the swings and trampoline, as she can. We’re reading Black Beauty together each evening. She’s really enjoying it.

Last week Chanel attended her swimming carnival. She was full of optimism following her successes at Cannon Hill last year. But when I saw how big some of the girls turning 9 this year were I grew concerned. Chanel came 3rd in her freestyle 50m. She felt ok but a little disappointed. Then came backstroke. Oops; dead last. Breast stroke wasn’t much better. Then came the announcement for the 50m butterfly. I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes and wished her well, but I was less than helpful. My pessimism was strengthened when I saw she was the youngest and smallest in the event. The race was for 8, 9 and 10 year old girls.

Chanel dived in beautifully and began the race. I heard the four boys in front of me saying, “Look at that Chantelle girl!” “No, it’s Chanel”. “Oh, whatever, look how good she is.” Sure enough, Chanel was in the front and charging up the centre of the pool. I got so excited I started yelling “Go Chanel!” as I ran alongside the pool. She came first! WOW! I was so thrilled for her.

Because of her successful swimming, Chanel goes to the District swimming carnival this Wednesday. What an achiever! She also got selected for “house relays” and swam brilliantly. Kylie and I are in awe of Chanel.

Abbie and Ella are settling into their routines and school environments well too. I think that the effects of the move are finally being overcome, and the girls are bouncing back from the massive changes they’ve been through. Ella was even excited about going to church today – the first time since we got to Wollongong nearly 7 weeks ago.

Kylie and I have reviewed the way we structure our schedule and changed things so that I come home around 4pm, shortly after Kylie has done the school pick-up. This allows us to spend time with the children reading and doing other worthwhile activities related to schooling. (I’m quite opposed to mindless homework sheets, but love to see the children engaged in meaningful projects or reading). I’ve been using the time to teach Abbie her “sight words.” These are the words that children should be able to recognise on sight. It has been so much fun. Abbie learned 10 words this week: big, I, come, jump, up, down, A, and, not and in. Abbie is so excited! And we are having great fun. Kylie laminated two sets of all the words (100 of them) and we do a couple each day. We put them all together and play games like snap, memory, fish and so on. I think Abbie will be a terrific reader.

Ella is a real scientist. She is particularly enamoured with anything that crawls outside. Snails have really captured her attention recently due to the remarkably moist conditions we’ve experienced. We have tried to tell Ella that snails are kinda gross, but she is committed to continuing her investigations of them. The other day we were eating breakfast at the table. I noticed that Ella was looking in her breast pocket every few seconds. She was keeping a couple of snails in there! Oh dear.

Ella’s pre-school is amazing. The quality of care and education is second to none. But it comes at a price. We misread the materials due to our enthusiasm for the facility and thought the cost was similar to what we paid for Abbie in Brisbane. But Abbie’s weekly cost is what we pay PER DAY for Ella. Ella’s pre-school is triple what we thought it was. Ouch.

But we’re very, exceptionally, happy with it, and we’ll persist. There’s a teacher who spends a couple of hours each day one-on-one with Ella working on her speech and language. The facilities are superb. So we’ll keep it up.

Our home is wonderfully conducive to the children spending a lot of time playing. The tv is on less than half of what it used to be in Brisbane. And while the kids would love to watch more, they happily amuse themselves when we direct them to another room or outside. The yard is great, the trees are perfect for climbing, and the house is still an adventure. Kylie is such a wonderful support. Most of her day is spent with Ella (when she’s at home) and Annie. Her commitment and effort (not to mention support) are amazing. Kylie is making friends with neighbours and ladies from church and is slowly feeling more comfortable. I think it will be a while still, and her friends from Brisbane are irreplaceable, but things are getting better.

And Annie has decided that she’s serious about getting bigger. She is putting on lots of weight, smiling as much as ever, and has decided to eat solids three times a day! We are amazed at Annie. I’ve never seen a baby who is so loving, and able to show it. She has three mothers in her big sisters. They adore her, particularly Chanel.

Last weekend Pop Bunt got a surprise. It was his 80th birthday, and mum organised a surprise party. About 70 family and friends showed up to the Auburn tennis club to celebrate with him, and surprise him. Mum organised a bus to pick Nan and Pop up from their home. It was the same bus that Pop drove when he was a bus-driver about 40 years ago. We all got on the old bus and drove to the house. When he came out and saw it he was tickled pink! He got on board, saying “I’m overwhelmed.” We had such a great time being there with him and nan. What’s most thrilling for Kylie and I is that our kids are experiencing their great-grandparents. We hope they have great memories of wonderful people.

As for me, I cannot remember living a more balanced, wonderful life! I am having the most terrific time living in Wollongong! Surfing has become a three or four session-a-week activity. I am having so much fun surfing, and finding it incredibly fulfilling.

My studies are going beautifully. I love what I am learning, and I am learning amazing things almost every day.

After being in this house for a little over 6 weeks we finally had an oven delivered yesterday. We have been pleading for one for weeks! It gets really hard to enjoy a wide variety of food without an oven. It should be wired up in the next couple of days. I can’t wait for that first roast! My stomach is rumbling just thinking of it.

This afternoon we realigned our Sunday afternoon priorities. We’re writing in journals more. We started it off by showing the kids what we wrote in our journals as children their age. They loved hearing about the things we wrote about and did at their age. Kylie and I were also grateful for the things that our parents took the time to record on our behalf. It was fascinating to hear what our parents really thought of us as little tykes! The memories are priceless. What’s incredible to me is that without the journals it would all be forgotten. I’m so grateful we have them.

And spiritually, things are improving. I went to a super leadership training at Campbelltown on Friday night. I was so inspired by what I was taught. Today at church I spoke to the young men about the Plan of Salvation. We spent a lot of time talking about what it is to learn Faith in Jesus Christ and why it is so important. As we talked about the nature of our relationship with Him because of the atonement I was uplifted. I hope they were too.

Not only is it impossible for me to count my blessings, but I cannot comprehend the breadth and depth of them!

Starting School

So many blessings, so much to delight in.

Kylie is not as in love with our new surroundings as me, but that’s understandable. I’m ready to buy a house here! Obviously we can’t do that right now, but Wollongong is a terrific place. But Kylie is warming to things here. We like it.

This week Annie began rolling over, and back! And after showing absolutely no interest in solid food two weeks ago, began attacking a melon that Kylie was holding yesterday. She is growing too fast. But the best thing about Annie is still that unending infectious smile.

Most noteworthy events this week were the three eldest girls commencing school. Abbie began “big school” for the first time. She approached the schoolyard optimistically. As children were called in to class her mood changed to solemn. Then came some tears. I wanted to get a photo so I asked Abbie to look at the camera. Instantly she smiled! The conditioned response took over and the tears were forgotten. I got a nice picture of her. She went to class happily and willingly and hasn’t looked back. There are still a few small complaints about mummy attending school for the whole day, but Abbie is settling in as well as we could have hoped.

Chanel went into Grade 3 at Figtree Public School. Confident and happy. At the end of her first day at school Chanel reported eight friends! Wow! Chanel is settling in well. I should also mention that our neighbours have four daughters. Chanel and Mary (one of the neighbour’s girls) held a “concert” in our backyard this week. Invitations were given to all family members. The backyard was reorganized with seating for all. Seat allocations were provided, refreshments offered, and entertainment delivered. The girls had a great time and we got to know the Milross family a little better. Just before the concert I spotted a blue-tongue lizard. I was too scared to pick it up, although I never admitted that to anyone. Despite my reluctance, Chanel gave chase and within seconds she had the lizard in her grasp. No fear!


Ella also started at a community kindergarten. Kylie, who has a background in early childhood education, said that the kindergarten is exceptional. It is well staffed, very supportive, and should facilitate Ella’s learning and development optimally. We’re feeling so blessed not only that we got Ella in two days each week, but that we even found it! Our little Ella is very frustrated at the moment, trying to communicate with us and feeling like too many things have happened too fast. For all her challenges, Ella is remarkably endearing. We think the world of that little girl.

It was a privilege to bless my girls before they went to school. I’m confident that the Lord watches my children.

I’m really excited for Kylie at the moment as well. Kylie has begun to read several of the very best books that I have on my bookshelf. She’s really enjoying them! That makes me really excited as we experience shared insights. The books are really changing Kylie too. It’s exciting to see and participate.

I love my studies. It is a really strange situation. I have no curriculum to follow, and nobody prodding me, giving me deadlines, or showing me where to go or what to do. Such is the nature of post-graduate research. So I go to my office at the university each day and simply do whatever I think I should. Entire autonomy.

My studies are centering on what it takes to live “the good life”, and particularly how character strengths and virtues help us obtain a feeling of well-being and satisfaction in our lives. Psychologists are increasingly discovering empirically what has been known for centuries; that meaning and happiness in life are founded upon living a life of character and goodness. Jefferson, in 1819, stated “Happiness is the aim of life, but virtue is the foundation of happiness.”

As I considered his statement I was reminded of a scripture that tells us that we “are that [we] may have joy.” Another prophet warned that “wickedness never was happiness.” Ironic that thousands of years after prophets have told us how to be happy, psychologists are just getting the message. In living virtuously, developing character strengths, we find satisfaction in our own lives. But this satisfaction is not so much a result or “effect” of living such a life. Instead it is entwined in virtue in the same way that in an ocean sunrise we find beauty. One doesn’t cause the other, rather they are implicit within each other, inseparably connected.

I love my life! And I love my studies!

Finally, a personal note. Life is wonderful. We have been so blessed. However, like everyone, there have been moments this week where I have been below my best. This afternoon I attended a funeral service for a man that I believe was a prophet of God. The President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints – Gordon Bitner Hinckley – passed away last week aged 97. As I attended the service (via satellite) I was reminded of the goodness, even the greatness, of what I can be. He was a great man; in service, humility, kindness, wisdom, and so many other virtues. Leaving the service I was inspired to be better in every way. Especially as a father and husband. So from today I will work harder to stand a little taller in the most important roles I will ever have. In so doing, perhaps I might be seen as one who follows in the footsteps of great men.

New Beginnings

It seems like ages since I’ve updated things here. So much has happened.

After a relatively quiet Christmas in Brisbane we drove south to New South Wales. We were fortunate to be able to stay at a unit that mum and dad had just purchased that was untenanted. It made for a comfortable stay in Gosford, with lots of space and no living in one another’s pockets.

We received a payout for the write-off of our Daihatsu. You can see the picture below which shows how nasty the crash was. Abbie and I were blessed from above.

While I was in New South Wales with the children I decided to look at some homes without Kylie. I found the home for us to rent that I believed was perfect. And I was entirely convinced that Kylie would feel the same way I did. I signed us up for it with a twelve month lease. Hmmm. Perhaps I should have double checked with Kylie first.

The house is quite a good size, certainly bigger than any home we’ve lived in previously. We have four bedrooms and two bathrooms. As you can see from the photo below there are little attics which annex each bedroom (see the large window at the top in the middle for the bedroom, and the smaller one in the brickwork to the left for the attic). The kids love it. The living areas are large and the entire home is very traditional, with floorboards throughout. We live on the side of a mountain which you can just see in the photo behind the house. On the other side of the house there are paddocks where cows graze and moo!

However, when I saw the place and thought it was perfect I failed to look at the detail. There has been a lot of wear and tear on the house, there are no curtains beyond torn pieces of lace hanging from windows, and several rooms are less than optimally functional. Oops. Kylie is slowly forgiving me for my hasty and rash nature. And she can see why I was so easily impressed. Plus, for the price we pay it is a good house in a good area. So we’re adjusting to our new life in our new city.

We also bought a new car. Well, it’s a 2002 model, so it’s not quite new. But it’s new for us. It’s a Toyota Avensis Verso. A real people mover. And we really do love it. It’s a great car with seven seats so our family can all travel together. It has a few more kilometres on it than we would have liked, but we feel like we got a good buy on the car overall, and enjoy being able to all travel together again.

Our new church here is nice. We are feeling like we fit in quite well after all of three weeks. The congregation is small but the leadership is strong and there are lots of good people there. I have been called to serve as the Young Men’s President. We only have three boys, but they’re great kids and I think we’re going to have a whole lot of fun.

Settling in has not been entirely easy. In fact, moving a family of six interstate is a real challenge. Not only was the removal enormously challenging, but settling in has been too. Ella is particularly unhappy at church at the moment, and all three girls have been a lot more temperamental as they get accustomed to the changes in our environment. The uncertainty associated with school commencement has obviously amplified that.

Kylie has been terrific. I’m sure the move has been incredibly hard for her. She has entirely left her life, her friends, and her family in Brisbane. Coming here means starting completely fresh, which is never an easy thing to do. But Kylie has simply put her head down and gotten on with the job. The house is looking great, and she is working so hard with the children. Annie is flourishing after a few weeks where she stopped gaining weight, and Kylie is on top of all the family’s needs.

I began my Ph.D. in the week just gone. I love it! I love what I’m doing and I think the next few years will be really exciting for me, and for our family. I go to the office around 9am (give or take 30 minutes) and I leave around 5pm (give or take 30 minutes). Nearly every afternoon when I leave work we take the family to the beach, the pool, the park, or for a walk for an hour. We are having so much fun. There is something about living close to the coast that allows the most magnificent lifestyle. I can see us being very happy here (especially once we get into a house that Kylie really approves of).

So after a big 5 or 6 weeks things are finally settling down. Chanel and Abbie start school at Figtree Public this week. It will be Abbie’s first day at school. Kylie is more nervous than Abbie. Ella is going to start Preschool in the next week or thereabouts, and some small amount of predictability should be evident.

Oh, and I forgot to mention… I’ve been surfing more in the past three weeks since arriving in Wollongong than I have in the past 24 months combined! Life is increasingly wonderful.

Airbags

Before the week started we knew that we would be busy. But we had no idea just how crazy it would be.

We have been busy painting walls, packing cartons, paving footpaths, and mulching gardens. It is funny as we look at the work we have done here. We can’t help wondering why we haven’t done it previously. The house is looking fantastic, but we’re moving out. We would have loved to have been here to enjoy it for a little longer. Although, if we were staying I somehow doubt that it would be getting done.

We have taken some time to enjoy people that we have come to love too. On Friday it was Chanel’s final day of school. We organised a party in the park for that afternoon, and invited all of Chanel’s and Abbie’s friends to come and enjoy a final get together. For two hours, we played and enjoyed the company of wonderful friends.

We said goodbye to our guinea pig this week too. We are not taking “Tuffy” to Wollongong with us, so he had to find a new home. Some friends of our lost their guinea pig recently, and were happy to adopt Tuffy.

We also enjoyed a celebration during the week. A good friend of mine from church and university was married. It has been a long time since we attended a wedding, and it was nice to experience the joy and love of the occasion.

The biggest news of week, though, is that our little Daihatsu was involved in a serious accident on Thursday night. I was driving with Abbie. We were following Kylie to her parent’s home for a family dinner. I was driving along the main road when a car came out of a side street in an attempt to turn in front of me in order to go in the opposite direction to that which I was travelling. I hit the brakes as hard as I could, but there was nothing I could have done to prevent the crash.

She had failed to see me. The Daihatsu t-boned her car, hitting just to the front of her driver side door. The impact spun her car around, while we basically kept going straight through. Both airbags were deployed. The airbag hit me right on the tip of my nose, but there was no pain. Abbie got the impact of the airbag above her right eye. She screamed as soon as the cars collided. It was amazing, in hindsight, how clearly I was thinking as it happened. The accident occurred extremely fast. There was no such thing as everything going in slow motion. In fact, it was just the opposite.

I stopped the car and jumped out instantly so I could look after Abbie. As I raced around the rear of the car I looked in the direction of the vehicle that we had hit and yelled, “What are you thinking?”

I reefed open Abbie’s door and carried her to the side of the road where I held her. She was extremely upset.

Meanwhile, Kylie had heard the impact from her position 500m ahead of me. She saw the car in her rear view mirror and turned around immediately. She came and looked after Abbie. A fireman was on his way home from work when it occurred and pulled up right behind the accident. He got the scene in order instantly. He was remarkably helpful.

Tow-trucks arrived within minutes (I don’t know how they can be so much faster than emergency services). It was almost as though they were hiding around the corner waiting for it to happen. The ambulance was on the scene a few minutes later. Abbie claimed she was hurting from the top of her head all the way down to her toes. We were a little worried about her. The other lady (who had pulled out in front of me) was physically fine. However, when she saw me take Abbie out of the car she had become extremely emotional at the thought of what might have happened. It took over an hour before she overcame the shock of the accident.

About fifteen minutes after the accident the adrenaline began to wear off. I became aware of a throbbing on my shin. I had an enormous lump that was continuing to expand. It ended up being almost the size of my fist. My leg must have hit under the dashboard on impact.

Abbie and I got to ride in an ambulance. The ambo’s felt that a doctor should look over Abbie as she was complaining that she was very sore. We arrived at the hospital, Abbie was given 5 ml of Panadol, No more hurties. She was fine.

We feel as though we have been so blessed. This accident could have been devastating. Instead we have all walked away without any real issues.

I had a truckload of mulch dumped on our driveway during the week. My intention was that I would spend a couple of days shovelling it onto our back garden. Due to my leg being sore, I had to ask for help. About ten men from church came by and moved the whole load in just over two hours. It would have taken me several days. I was so grateful for their service.

So now all the big jobs are done around the house. The paving is finished, and looks great. The painting has been done. The mulch has been spread. Still, there is packing to do. And we need to get our car situation figured out. We anticipate that the car will be written off, but this is yet to be assessed. We leave our home this week. And we are still looking for a house in Wollongong.

This Christmas is going to be interesting.

Note also, there will not be any blog updates until we are unpacked in Wollongong. I suspect this will be early in January. Have a joyful, blessed Christmas

Restaurant Music

I’m sitting down to write this with my little Ella sitting on my lap playing with a music box that plays Jingle Bells. Ella and Abbie have been very funny in recent weeks.

Abbie has received a CD player for her birthday (back in October). Each evening as we sit down for dinner as a family, Abbie tells us that we need to listen to some “restaurant music”. Our typical dinnertime accompaniment consists of children’s CD’s. We know all the words to all of the Playschool songs, Bindi Irwin (the Jungle girl), and every other children’s CD we own. It’s really cute. What seems funniest to Kylie and I is that Abbie knew about “restaurant music”. We don’t know where she got the idea from, but we sure get lots of entertainment at dinner time.

We’ve been playing a lot of hide ‘n seek recently. It usually works reasonably well, but I’m having a difficult time teaching Ella to stay hidden. Instead she gives lots of hints about where she is. Ella will knock on the wall to give away her position. If I enter the room and pretend not to have seen her, she’ll burst out of her hiding place shouting, “Here I am”! Usually she laughs so much that we find her very quickly. Ella is lots of fun.

Our precious gift, Annie Grace, is beautiful. Annie is now a little over three months old. She is comfortable holding her head up, and can lie on her stomach and push herself up just a little, even holding herself there. She still sleeps through most nights, although in the last few weeks things have begun to become a little less predictable. But boy, does she love to smile. We feel blessed to have been given such a content and beautiful little girl.

Unfortunately, however, my time to really appreciate the children has been reduced the past couple of weeks and will remain so until we move. I am doing an enormous amount of work, trying to pay as many bills as possible associated with the move. Our house has turned into what looks like a war zone. Packing removal cartons has that kind of an impact. There is a lot to do. We have walls to paint, pavers to lay, a back garden to plant and mulch, and new carpet to install. Plus we need to pack up our belongings and keep our children happy. It is a busy time.

We have decided that we must get rid of our Camry. We have just found out that it needs between $2500 and $3000 to keep it on the road. The car is only worth $1000. Oh dear! This car has been the worst car we have ever owned, and we will not miss it. But to have our hand forced is no fun.

I was going to take it to the wreckers and get a couple of hundred dollars for it. But then a panel beater I know said he’d take it and fix it up. He was going to pay me for it, but instead I’m having him fix up and repaint my motorbike. It is a fair trade as the motorbike would have cost me close to $800 if I paid for it. In fact, I think I’m doing really well. The only difficulty is that we will then have a very little car and a very big motorbike. It really should be the other way around. So we’re saving for a big car, and I’ll likely sell our little car and big motorbike.

We are still looking for a house in Wollongong. Hopefully we’ll receive some news this week. There are a couple of homes that look particularly nice to us.
And that’s about all this week. Another couple of very busy weeks in the lead up to Christmas and our move. We move out on December 22nd.

Endings and Beginnings

This is going to be a longer entry than usual because this week has been so significant. A lot of wonderful, challenging, and exciting things have occurred in the past seven days.

I’ll begin with the most significant.

After weeks of nail-biting suspense and painful waiting my university results were released on Wednesday. Having been unconditionally accepted into a Masters Degree here in QLD and conditionally accepted to a PhD in Wollongong, there was a lot riding on the result. To get the PhD and associated scholarship I had to receive a first class honours in my final year of the degree. To get a first class result required a score of 80 or greater.

Part of me wanted to get the first class result to do the PhD, but the other part didn’t want to. A move to Wollongong entails significant changes in our lives, many that I wasn’t sure I was comfortable making. To get a low score would mean no decision was necessary and we could just stay here.

Well, the result arrived. I was nervous beyond anything I recall as I received the outcome… 80.71! I got there by less than three-quarters of one percent! In hindsight, I guess that means I must have worked a little too hard as I only needed 80. That grade was too close to the edge for my liking. The amazing thing is that no one ever asks what grade I got. So whether it’s 80.71 or 99.71, the result is a first class honours and that’s all that matters. I feel remarkably blessed as I consider what it takes to get that result. To have done so with Kylie having our fourth baby and while working etc, it feels good.

With the result came a very important decision. Do we leave everything and move our family to start again in Wollongong? We’ve never been there, know very little about it, and love lots of things about where we are. We don’t really know what is involved in studying for a PhD. We have no social support there.

Or do we stay put, and do a Masters degree that will allow us to remain relatively comfortable and progress into a different area, more related to counseling?

Wednesday evening Kylie and I talked with the children. We asked them to help us determine the advantages and disadvantages associated with moving. We were surprised by their enthusiasm. As we talked and listed our ideas it became increasingly clear that one option was far superior to the other.

We’re moving. Mum reminded me of a quote from Helen Keller, “Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing.” We have been very happy and very comfortable for some time. There is always a lot happening in our lives, but real growth comes from being stretched. It’s time for a new adventure.

By the end of the first two weeks in January we expect to be settling into a new home in Wollongong. At this stage we do not know where. We’ll make some decisions in the next couple of weeks.

The following day we told Chanel’s school teacher, Jane Leishman. As Kylie told her, she became visibly saddened. She loves Chanel and said many wonderful things about our big girl. We have since received kind words about how special our children are from other teachers and parents who have been involved with our family over the past years. There is very little that makes a dad feel happier than to hear other people express heartfelt gratitude for the influence of his children. I feel so blessed to have such precious children.

Now that the decision has been made a change has come over Kylie and I. Where there was some concern and uncertainty about the future, we are now optimistic and even starting to look forward to our new direction. We will miss our family and friends in Queensland terrible. We don’t know how long we will be gone. But we are looking forward to an exciting future. More details will filter through this blog over the coming weeks as we find somewhere new to live and so on.

We had some other experiences this week that were like pages in my favourite books; dog-eared because I want to go back and savour them again and again.

On Wednesday Chanel swam at her school swimming carnival. She loves the pool and is enjoying her squad swimming. But when she started winning some races it was really exciting. I was timekeeper for one of the lanes for the day. I don’t remember the kids at school carnivals making so much noise when I went to school. Boy, did those kids scream and cheer! It was a big day.

Chanel swam really well. First, she won her 25m butterfly race in 29 seconds. Then she won her backstroke race in 35 seconds. She got a first in her 25m freestyle (26 seconds) and second in her breast-stroke race too. In the 50m free Chanel came third. She was happy, and I felt lucky to have been able to be there.
I left the carnival to go to Abbie’s kindergarten. They had their special Christmas Concert with all of the children performing for mums and dads for half an hour. It was such a treat to watch Abbie having great fun with all of her friends. She is a treasure.

So Wednesday was one of the best days I’ve had. Uni results, scholarships, and a day watching Chanel and Abbie having a great day with their friends, using their talents and skills, and enjoying the gifts and blessings that I have.

The other highlight of the week was yesterday (Saturday). We had arranged for a family Christmas party at our home, with Kylie’s sisters and their families, and Kylie’s parents coming over for an afternoon. Kylie and I spent most of Friday and Saturday morning preparing. Food and decorations were arranged. We worked hard, particularly Kylie. She has such a remarkable ability to organise, plan, and tastefully run spectacular events.

The food was breathtaking. Wonderful cheese and fruit platters for nibbles (the cherries were to die for, and the Camembert was top-shelf), followed by a main meal of salads and meats that were mouth-wateringly divine. Lastly, Kylie prepared a jaffa cheesecake. Choc-orange cheesecake with delectable chocolate dripped across the plate. It was better than a restaurant!

Most importantly, the company was special. Everyone had a terrific time. The family has become a remarkably cohesive group of people. Everyone was kind. We laughed and enjoyed one another. The children played. It was a little bit of heaven.

This is a photo of the family. Back row – Me, Kylie, Estelle and Adele (Kylie’s sisters), Ystyn and Madson (Adele’s husband and son).
Front row – Abbie (in front), Lisa (Kylie’s half sister), Les, Ella, Natasha, West (Adele’s other son), Payton (Lisa’s daughter) and Chanel.

It has been a remarkable week. We continually see blessings from Above in our lives, and this week has been a great example of that.