Sunday July 18th, 2010
The past fortnight has been littered with highs and lows. I have felt myself stretched in so many different ways. I wish that I had responded to all of the challenges perfectly. Alas, I am susceptible to make mistakes similar to most mortals, and I have demonstrated my humanity for better or worse on each occasion.
Our washing machine failed us (again) after several years of service. We purchased a new and expensive European branded machine. We like our machine, but in hindsight we rushed our purchase and its purchase has led to unforseen challenges in other areas. In spite of this, we have survived for now. We also made an arguable poor decision in finalising our tapware purchases for the children’s bathroom. Taps are expensive! We chose to spend money on taps that were not in our budget. We have learned some valuable budgeting lessons.
Kylie took the children away to QLD for ten days to commence the school holidays. They had a wonderful time with family and friends. Chanel and Ella had time with the Holzworths, while Kylie and the other children were kept busy with relatives and other friends. They had a wonderful time.
While the family were in QLD I turned my attention to data that required analysing. The data don’t work. This is devastating for me. In my despair I attempted to contact my supervisor for guidance. He was not available, nor has he been for over six months. I emailed him and shared my feelings about his lack of involvement in my work. My email was direct and clear – his supervision in the past 6-12 months has been inadequate. His response surprised me. We met the following day and he apologised, recommitting to my project. It was hard to send that email, but I sense that it was certainly the right thing to do.
I received some positive news in relation to my PhD. I have had a theoretical paper accepted for publication. I will be published in the Journal of Humanistic Psychology. My paper describes the findings from an investigation into “Calling” in the Childrearing role. This is a major success for me. Peer reviewed publications have been a challenge for me and it feels terrific to see this working out.
I flew into Brisbane on Sunday night, met Kylie and the family at the airport, and drove south. We drove through the night, arriving at Coffs Harbour around 2am. The children were asleep soon after we began our drive, and Kylie and I had the opportunity to talk. We spoke the whole way, perhaps for more time (uninterrupted) than we’ve spoken in half-a-dozen years. Our time apart had given us both the opportunity to consider our progress in various aspects of our lives. We recommitted to improvement, and set specific plans to achieve more of what our family will benefit most from.
After not enough sleep in Coffs Harbour we drove to Gosford to visit my family. Mum put on an impromptu roast dinner and invited the entire family. We had expected to pop in and out quickly! It was really nice to have everyone show up to see us though. We appreciate our family and the effort they are willing to go to in order to spend time with us. After delicious food we drove through to Wollongong. It was nice to have my family home again. I missed them while they were away.
During the past week we have tried hard to complete the renovation. Our tiler has all but finished his work now and our wet areas should be complete. However, our plumber has not completed his work. In spite of this, he expected to be paid. My suggestion that he complete his work before being paid led to an unwelcome conflict. He left – empty-handed – and has refused to answer our calls since. This morning we discovered yet another leak. The leak has already caused us problems. He had “fixed it” previously. The leak is in our new walls. To fix it requires us to knock holes in our walls. It leaks down through our new ceilings. I called him. He did not answer. I left him a message. He is not welcome in our home again, and he will not be paid. This was a difficult and uncomfortable thing to do. I prefer relationships to remain pleasant. However, a new plumber will have to be employed to fix his many mistakes. We will also require other tradespeople to repair the damage that will be caused to our home as we attempt to right his many wrongs. We anticipate that the costs required to repair his mess will far outweigh what we owed him. However we will not pursue him. We would rather move ahead than dwell on past pains. Lesson learned – if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck. He made many mistakes early on and we could have fired him then. We should have.
So after several ups and downs, and some tough decisions, we find ourselves enjoying a wonderful afternoon in our partly renovated, leaky house. We ate pancakes for lunch. We had a family home evening and spent time with the children talking about our plans for the future. They are excited and seem anxious to make things work well in our family. Annie and Lilli are sleeping. Kylie and the children are making home-made cards for friends. I am reflecting on the past few weeks and am thinking that, despite the many issues we face, life is remarkably good. We look forward to the future with optimism and hope, confident that we can make great changes that will improve life even more.
Sunday, 18 July 2010
Sunday, 27 June 2010
Relaxed
Sunday June 27th, 2010
It’s been a full two months since I last wrote. As much as we’ve been immensely busy, I’ll try to keep the update to a reasonable length and focus only on main points.
Firstly, the renovation. In the past 10 weeks we have removed a staircase, two kitchens, three bathrooms, multiple windows, brick walls, and interior walls. We’ve converted a bedroom into a bathroom and a bathroom into a bedroom. We’ve removed a laundry and created a new one, put in a new doorway (or two), removed a front doorway, built a new kitchen and bathroom, and who knows what else! In total we’ve spent tens and tens of thousands of dollars. We’ve had ups and downs, tradesmen who can’t do things right, tradesmen who don’t show up when they should, and more costly decisions to make than anyone would typically make in a year – perhaps even a decade.
We’ve been forced to move out of our home for a little over a week because of a lack of water, electricity, and other facilities. We’ve stressed, sweated, and even bled (I cut my finger and got a few splinters) through this renovation. For all of the effort though, things are finally almost at a point that we can resume a sense of normality. Our kitchen was completed last week, as well as our laundry. Our en-suite was completed a couple of weeks ago. And if our tradespeople show up we should finally complete our other bathroom by the end of this week. From this point we only have cosmetic changes to make. We’ll commence them once we save some more money.
Despite the relative incompletion, we’re far enough along now to be thrilled with what we’ve done and also to be able to really enjoy living in what has become an entirely new home!
It would be ungrateful of me if I failed to mention the amazing help we’ve had throughout the renovation. So many members of the church have cooked meals for us and helped out in other ways. We’ve been given a home to live in for a week when friends went away. This meant we could get out of our unliveable house while friends holidayed. It was wonderful. In my last update I mentioned the help Kylie’s family had given, particularly her sister and mum. My folks have also been wonderfully helpful. And a family friend, an electrician, has donated countless days and expertise at no charge to completely rewire our home. I’m sure there are more people who have been involved in blessing us. We have been looked after so well, it’s humbling.
In terms of family, our precious Lilli Emma is growing perfectly. She is happy, healthy, and a big fatty! She loves sleeping and feeding. She does everything a 10 week-old baby should do and is a dream to look after. Her night time sleeps range from six to nine hours and we have not been sleep deprived at all due to Lilli. She is really laughing a lot now and making huge amounts of eye contact. Her smile delights us, and we hang on every moment we get to spend watching her in the hope she’ll give us another one.
Annie has struggled significantly through the past few months. The changes have been enormous for our precious two year-old. As the renovation progressed Annie became distressed that her house was “broken”. She wanted the stairs back, and the walls, and doors, and bathrooms and so on. It has taken until this week for her to finally seem satisfied that the house is being put back together nicely. For our angel Annie, the renovation has been coupled with a new little sister. This has caused some difficulty for Annie too as she’s come to understand that she’s no longer the baby in the family. We’ve seen her throwing a lot of tantrums. We’ve dealt with her becoming quite free with her fists and feet too, kicking and punching her sisters and even Kylie and I. Again, this is slowing down as she comes to terms with the huge changes, so we’re patient with her, knowing that she’ll work through things soon enough. Annie is still delightfully cute and keeps us staring in wonder at the amazing little girl she is.
The changes at home have had minimal effect on the three older girls. Ella is progressing remarkably well in her first year of school. She grasps all of the required concepts well, is reading far more proficiently than we had expected, and seems to be thriving. In fact, Ella has gone from being unable to recognise any words to participating in scripture study quite competently in just two months. She loves to shout out all the words she recognises as we drive, and when she doesn’t recognise a word Ella reads the letters and asks what they all spell! As has always been the case Ella is not doing so well socially, but again she’s above our expectations and seems to be doing reasonably well. She certainly could do a lot worse.
Abbie has been her usual quiet seven year-old self. While there is little to report regarding Abbie, she has continued to do well at piano and school.
Chanel, as the eldest, always seems to have lots of things going on. Her school experience seems constantly positive. Her piano progress has been amazing, and her passion for it is gratifying. I love the fact that Chanel cannot walk past the piano without playing a few bars of whatever song she is learning. It drives me crazy because of the constant noise and because she’s stalling on what she should otherwise be doing. But she just wants to play – all the time! Chanel loves it and is doing well.
Last Saturday night we had our Illawarra Cycle Club presentation night. We were concerned about taking the family because of our previous experience with functions. All too often people have carried on with behaviour we’ve felt was inappropriate and we’ve taken our children and left. We decided to give this one a go, and it was a real treat! It was a wonderful night. Chanel came home with four huge trophies! Motivation for cycling has been ebbing recently, partly because of the cold, and partly because riding a bike is actually pretty hard work. Now, with a fresh reminder of success Chanel is extremely motivated and itching to ride whenever she can!
Kylie is doing a remarkable job at holding our family together through the chaos. She looks after Lilli as well as the rest of us, maintains our home, and has still managed to cook meals even when we didn’t have a kitchen. I am amazed at the way she is able to keep us functioning in spite of our circumstances. Kylie has been itching to have some time to enjoy things herself too and it has been great to be able to watch her have a bike ride in the past week as well as attending a few functions and parties with friends.
For me, I’m making steady progress on my PhD. My teaching commitments are concluded, as is the marking I’ve done. I really hate marking. It’s the most painful thing I have to do. In the next couple of weeks I’ll be attempting to determine the degree of reliability a survey I’ve developed possesses. My entire PhD really hinges on getting this right. So it is an understatement to say that I’m a little nervous about what the next couple of weeks might bring. I start collecting data on Tuesday.
And that’s really about all. It’s been a huge couple of months. But today, with most of the work completed, I’m feeling relaxed. We feel blessed.
Oh, nearly forgot to mention... on occasion Kylie and I have shared a kiss together. Sometimes it has been in the car, or the kitchen. When we kiss, if there is a little pair of eyes looking at us we inevitably hear a sing-song chorus of little girls singing “Kissy, kissy, kissy! Kissy, kissy, kissy!” over and over again. We love each so much, and we love to be affectionate. We aren’t exhibitionists, but we love that our children can see our love for one another. And we love that they think it’s wonderful! I’m sure the response will be different in a few more years...
It’s been a full two months since I last wrote. As much as we’ve been immensely busy, I’ll try to keep the update to a reasonable length and focus only on main points.
Firstly, the renovation. In the past 10 weeks we have removed a staircase, two kitchens, three bathrooms, multiple windows, brick walls, and interior walls. We’ve converted a bedroom into a bathroom and a bathroom into a bedroom. We’ve removed a laundry and created a new one, put in a new doorway (or two), removed a front doorway, built a new kitchen and bathroom, and who knows what else! In total we’ve spent tens and tens of thousands of dollars. We’ve had ups and downs, tradesmen who can’t do things right, tradesmen who don’t show up when they should, and more costly decisions to make than anyone would typically make in a year – perhaps even a decade.
We’ve been forced to move out of our home for a little over a week because of a lack of water, electricity, and other facilities. We’ve stressed, sweated, and even bled (I cut my finger and got a few splinters) through this renovation. For all of the effort though, things are finally almost at a point that we can resume a sense of normality. Our kitchen was completed last week, as well as our laundry. Our en-suite was completed a couple of weeks ago. And if our tradespeople show up we should finally complete our other bathroom by the end of this week. From this point we only have cosmetic changes to make. We’ll commence them once we save some more money.
Despite the relative incompletion, we’re far enough along now to be thrilled with what we’ve done and also to be able to really enjoy living in what has become an entirely new home!
It would be ungrateful of me if I failed to mention the amazing help we’ve had throughout the renovation. So many members of the church have cooked meals for us and helped out in other ways. We’ve been given a home to live in for a week when friends went away. This meant we could get out of our unliveable house while friends holidayed. It was wonderful. In my last update I mentioned the help Kylie’s family had given, particularly her sister and mum. My folks have also been wonderfully helpful. And a family friend, an electrician, has donated countless days and expertise at no charge to completely rewire our home. I’m sure there are more people who have been involved in blessing us. We have been looked after so well, it’s humbling.
In terms of family, our precious Lilli Emma is growing perfectly. She is happy, healthy, and a big fatty! She loves sleeping and feeding. She does everything a 10 week-old baby should do and is a dream to look after. Her night time sleeps range from six to nine hours and we have not been sleep deprived at all due to Lilli. She is really laughing a lot now and making huge amounts of eye contact. Her smile delights us, and we hang on every moment we get to spend watching her in the hope she’ll give us another one.
Annie has struggled significantly through the past few months. The changes have been enormous for our precious two year-old. As the renovation progressed Annie became distressed that her house was “broken”. She wanted the stairs back, and the walls, and doors, and bathrooms and so on. It has taken until this week for her to finally seem satisfied that the house is being put back together nicely. For our angel Annie, the renovation has been coupled with a new little sister. This has caused some difficulty for Annie too as she’s come to understand that she’s no longer the baby in the family. We’ve seen her throwing a lot of tantrums. We’ve dealt with her becoming quite free with her fists and feet too, kicking and punching her sisters and even Kylie and I. Again, this is slowing down as she comes to terms with the huge changes, so we’re patient with her, knowing that she’ll work through things soon enough. Annie is still delightfully cute and keeps us staring in wonder at the amazing little girl she is.
The changes at home have had minimal effect on the three older girls. Ella is progressing remarkably well in her first year of school. She grasps all of the required concepts well, is reading far more proficiently than we had expected, and seems to be thriving. In fact, Ella has gone from being unable to recognise any words to participating in scripture study quite competently in just two months. She loves to shout out all the words she recognises as we drive, and when she doesn’t recognise a word Ella reads the letters and asks what they all spell! As has always been the case Ella is not doing so well socially, but again she’s above our expectations and seems to be doing reasonably well. She certainly could do a lot worse.
Abbie has been her usual quiet seven year-old self. While there is little to report regarding Abbie, she has continued to do well at piano and school.
Chanel, as the eldest, always seems to have lots of things going on. Her school experience seems constantly positive. Her piano progress has been amazing, and her passion for it is gratifying. I love the fact that Chanel cannot walk past the piano without playing a few bars of whatever song she is learning. It drives me crazy because of the constant noise and because she’s stalling on what she should otherwise be doing. But she just wants to play – all the time! Chanel loves it and is doing well.
Last Saturday night we had our Illawarra Cycle Club presentation night. We were concerned about taking the family because of our previous experience with functions. All too often people have carried on with behaviour we’ve felt was inappropriate and we’ve taken our children and left. We decided to give this one a go, and it was a real treat! It was a wonderful night. Chanel came home with four huge trophies! Motivation for cycling has been ebbing recently, partly because of the cold, and partly because riding a bike is actually pretty hard work. Now, with a fresh reminder of success Chanel is extremely motivated and itching to ride whenever she can!
Kylie is doing a remarkable job at holding our family together through the chaos. She looks after Lilli as well as the rest of us, maintains our home, and has still managed to cook meals even when we didn’t have a kitchen. I am amazed at the way she is able to keep us functioning in spite of our circumstances. Kylie has been itching to have some time to enjoy things herself too and it has been great to be able to watch her have a bike ride in the past week as well as attending a few functions and parties with friends.
For me, I’m making steady progress on my PhD. My teaching commitments are concluded, as is the marking I’ve done. I really hate marking. It’s the most painful thing I have to do. In the next couple of weeks I’ll be attempting to determine the degree of reliability a survey I’ve developed possesses. My entire PhD really hinges on getting this right. So it is an understatement to say that I’m a little nervous about what the next couple of weeks might bring. I start collecting data on Tuesday.
And that’s really about all. It’s been a huge couple of months. But today, with most of the work completed, I’m feeling relaxed. We feel blessed.
Oh, nearly forgot to mention... on occasion Kylie and I have shared a kiss together. Sometimes it has been in the car, or the kitchen. When we kiss, if there is a little pair of eyes looking at us we inevitably hear a sing-song chorus of little girls singing “Kissy, kissy, kissy! Kissy, kissy, kissy!” over and over again. We love each so much, and we love to be affectionate. We aren’t exhibitionists, but we love that our children can see our love for one another. And we love that they think it’s wonderful! I’m sure the response will be different in a few more years...
Sunday, 25 April 2010
Wonderful to me
This week has really been a blur. A little bit of schoolwork and teaching has been mixed in with a whole lot of renovating and trying to be useful around the house. My usefulness around the house has been pretty minimal though, with Kylie’s mum saving the day for us. We could simply not have gotten through the week without her. The amount of cleaning, washing, ironing, and helping get the children organised that she has done is amazing. She leaves our home tonight for Brisbane again, and I can’t help but think that she may well sleep for a week before she recovers from what has been a really challenging week!
Aside from the wonderful feeling of bringing Kylie and Lilli home from the hospital on Monday, there’s really very little of any importance to share from the weekdays. They simply raced by. However, Saturday and Sunday were particularly meaningful in my life.
Ella, age 6.
Aside from the wonderful feeling of bringing Kylie and Lilli home from the hospital on Monday, there’s really very little of any importance to share from the weekdays. They simply raced by. However, Saturday and Sunday were particularly meaningful in my life.
Ella, age 6.
Sunday, 11 April 2010
The Sweetest Thing
This week I've got a brief travelogue followed by some of our realy joys...
Easter Monday was a big day for Abbie May. We went on a daddy-daughter date and Abbie rode her bike several kilometres! We left one training wheel on the bike, but I sense that Abbie will be riding without it in the coming weeks. We met the family on the Wollongong harbour and delighted in an incredible morning. After lunch I began demolishing walls in the house.
Easter Monday was a big day for Abbie May. We went on a daddy-daughter date and Abbie rode her bike several kilometres! We left one training wheel on the bike, but I sense that Abbie will be riding without it in the coming weeks. We met the family on the Wollongong harbour and delighted in an incredible morning. After lunch I began demolishing walls in the house.
Sunday, 4 April 2010
Changing the Way Things Work
In recent weeks I’ve become increasingly negative, and even frustrated. I’ve blamed it on any number of things – including overwork, tiredness, too many children, a pregnant wife – but never myself. Over the weekend last week I was honest with myself and acknowledged that perhaps my growing dissatisfaction is related to my inability to get things done with my PhD. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to do it. I’ve just gotten bored with it. My procrastination efforts have been refined and improved, while my study habits have become diminished and broken. The flow-on effect into the rest of my life has been readily apparent to family, friends, and my Internet Service Provider (which measures that my Internet usage – read procrastination – has increased significantly).
It’s amazing what a fresh view of things will do.
It’s amazing what a fresh view of things will do.
Sunday, 21 March 2010
In the Blink of an Eye
After realising that I was in over my head the changes I’ve made are feeling very good. Dropping out of unnecessary classes has made the biggest difference. Now my only focus in my PhD and regular teaching commitments and I’m feeling much more in control of things at school. My week was not particularly productive but I think that may have been a result of being a little burnt out. I anticipate that this coming week will be exceptionally productive.
We’ve received more quotes for our home renovation. It appears that we have exactly half the money needed to make all the hoped for changes. The full cost of the renovation will be somewhere in the order of $80-$90 000 and we’re about halfway to that amount. So we’re looking for ways to change our plans, buy materials cheap, do some work ourselves, and otherwise save a whole lot of money. Once the home is complete, we’ll sell, maximise our profit, and hopefully find another home in which we can do it all again!
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday passed in a blur this week. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred, with me at uni being sadly unproductive, the children going to school, and Kylie doing her things at home.
Wednesday afternoon I flew to the Gold Coast for a conference in commercialisation of research. The idea was that PhD students were being recruited for the commercial potential of their research. We were given a two day conference aimed at teaching us how we might commercialise what we do, but also “who” we might use to aid in the process. Obviously the organisation who paid our expenses was hoping that they might gain our attention. I sense that there are both advantages and disadvantages to their proposals, but will spend some time exploring options in the coming months.
Thursday I spent the day in conference. The food was enjoyable, the content of the presentations was dull but relevant enough to me to keep my attention (barely). Unfortunately both Wednesday and Thursday nights I was unable to sleep in the hotel and by Friday morning I had a migraine so bad that I couldn’t even hold food. It seemed to rack my entire body. I attempted to attend the conference but could barely sit up the pain was so great. I checked back into my room for another couple of hours, prayed that sleep would come, and then I rested. Slumber arrived and around fifty minutes later housekeeping woke me. It was enough. I got through the remainder of the day and slowly regained my strength.
Arriving home on Friday at 10pm I caught up on family news. Abbie is excelling with her piano lessons, and progressing quickly. Ella seemed to have a 48-hour growth spurt and appeared at least two inches taller than she was when I left! And Chanel had a stellar night at the velodrome, winning a $10 cash prize for her racing, and also a pair of clear sunglasses for riding at night! She was delighted.
Saturday was a day full of happy moments. I chose not to ride, preferring to rest and spend time with the family after my time away. Kylie and I slept in a little and cuddled with each of the children as they staggered into our room to greet me after my trip. We wrestled, giggled, cuddled some more, and felt joy together. We played in the pool for a couple of hours, and also scrubbed the bottom of it. I discovered I can stay on the bottom of the pool much longer when Kylie stands on my back! So I made my way around the pool with Kylie holding me down until I couldn’t stand it any longer.
We came inside, showered, and raced off to Sydney, leaving the children with a babysitter. With two hours to get into the city, we were confident we could make it. However, traffic slowed us to around 1km every 10 minutes and it looked as though we’d be late. Prayers were offered. Traffic thinned. And miraculously we found a parking space only two blocks from the Capitol Theatre, right in the heart of the city. What’s more, it was on the street and not in a parking station, so the price was only a touch under $7 for over 3 hours! Unheard of in the centre of town where we would expect to pay closer to $25.
Kylie hobbled beside me as we raced to the theatre. We arrived as the doors were closing – literally! We were ushered to our seats, the lights dimmed, and WICKED began. Wicked is the “previously untold” story of the Wicked Witch of the East and the Wicked With of the West, two witches killed in the Wizard of Oz. The tale was intriguing, the set was spectacular, the music was magnificent, and the plot was powerful. For three hours we were immersed in the play, completely enthralled with a superbly crafted story. I give the play an “A” and recommend it highly. I can’t guarantee that everyone will like it, but I can say that Kylie and I thought it was well worth it, and we’d go and see it again tomorrow if we could (and we’d take the children to see it too).
We concluded our twelfth wedding anniversary by eating Thai food as we put the children to bed. Our twelve years is more than one-third of our lives! We’ve been married 12 years, yet it feels such a short while. We enjoyed reflecting on the various parts of our wedding day. As we tickled the children in bed we reminisced that 12 years earlier we were driving to the temple at that time of the morning. As we drove to Sydney we commented that 12 years earlier we were eating lunch in the Holiday Inn Crowne Plaza at Terrigal. I rang my two best men, Steven Travis and Brenden Wood, to remind them that on that day 12 years ago they’d been part of history – the history of Kylie and Justin. We feel so blessed to have such a wonderful marriage and family. And 12 years really has gone in the blink of an eye. It barely feels like three or four years!
Today we arose having had two wonderful nights of sleep. I felt good. We were at church early and were fortunate to hear three well-prepared talks about having moral courage – the courage to stand for what is right, even when we’re in a minority. It was a powerful meeting, even if Annie couldn’t manage the final twenty minutes and had to be taken for a walk. I taught the Young Men about prayer. It feels so great to talk about something that has made such a difference in my life. This afternoon we sweltered in the remnants of summer, stalking their way through our early autumn, and played with the children. Now we’re prepared for a brand new week, and counting down the final 28 days until our baby joins our family! We have so much to be grateful for.
We’ve received more quotes for our home renovation. It appears that we have exactly half the money needed to make all the hoped for changes. The full cost of the renovation will be somewhere in the order of $80-$90 000 and we’re about halfway to that amount. So we’re looking for ways to change our plans, buy materials cheap, do some work ourselves, and otherwise save a whole lot of money. Once the home is complete, we’ll sell, maximise our profit, and hopefully find another home in which we can do it all again!
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday passed in a blur this week. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred, with me at uni being sadly unproductive, the children going to school, and Kylie doing her things at home.
Wednesday afternoon I flew to the Gold Coast for a conference in commercialisation of research. The idea was that PhD students were being recruited for the commercial potential of their research. We were given a two day conference aimed at teaching us how we might commercialise what we do, but also “who” we might use to aid in the process. Obviously the organisation who paid our expenses was hoping that they might gain our attention. I sense that there are both advantages and disadvantages to their proposals, but will spend some time exploring options in the coming months.
Thursday I spent the day in conference. The food was enjoyable, the content of the presentations was dull but relevant enough to me to keep my attention (barely). Unfortunately both Wednesday and Thursday nights I was unable to sleep in the hotel and by Friday morning I had a migraine so bad that I couldn’t even hold food. It seemed to rack my entire body. I attempted to attend the conference but could barely sit up the pain was so great. I checked back into my room for another couple of hours, prayed that sleep would come, and then I rested. Slumber arrived and around fifty minutes later housekeeping woke me. It was enough. I got through the remainder of the day and slowly regained my strength.
Arriving home on Friday at 10pm I caught up on family news. Abbie is excelling with her piano lessons, and progressing quickly. Ella seemed to have a 48-hour growth spurt and appeared at least two inches taller than she was when I left! And Chanel had a stellar night at the velodrome, winning a $10 cash prize for her racing, and also a pair of clear sunglasses for riding at night! She was delighted.
Saturday was a day full of happy moments. I chose not to ride, preferring to rest and spend time with the family after my time away. Kylie and I slept in a little and cuddled with each of the children as they staggered into our room to greet me after my trip. We wrestled, giggled, cuddled some more, and felt joy together. We played in the pool for a couple of hours, and also scrubbed the bottom of it. I discovered I can stay on the bottom of the pool much longer when Kylie stands on my back! So I made my way around the pool with Kylie holding me down until I couldn’t stand it any longer.
We came inside, showered, and raced off to Sydney, leaving the children with a babysitter. With two hours to get into the city, we were confident we could make it. However, traffic slowed us to around 1km every 10 minutes and it looked as though we’d be late. Prayers were offered. Traffic thinned. And miraculously we found a parking space only two blocks from the Capitol Theatre, right in the heart of the city. What’s more, it was on the street and not in a parking station, so the price was only a touch under $7 for over 3 hours! Unheard of in the centre of town where we would expect to pay closer to $25.
Kylie hobbled beside me as we raced to the theatre. We arrived as the doors were closing – literally! We were ushered to our seats, the lights dimmed, and WICKED began. Wicked is the “previously untold” story of the Wicked Witch of the East and the Wicked With of the West, two witches killed in the Wizard of Oz. The tale was intriguing, the set was spectacular, the music was magnificent, and the plot was powerful. For three hours we were immersed in the play, completely enthralled with a superbly crafted story. I give the play an “A” and recommend it highly. I can’t guarantee that everyone will like it, but I can say that Kylie and I thought it was well worth it, and we’d go and see it again tomorrow if we could (and we’d take the children to see it too).
We concluded our twelfth wedding anniversary by eating Thai food as we put the children to bed. Our twelve years is more than one-third of our lives! We’ve been married 12 years, yet it feels such a short while. We enjoyed reflecting on the various parts of our wedding day. As we tickled the children in bed we reminisced that 12 years earlier we were driving to the temple at that time of the morning. As we drove to Sydney we commented that 12 years earlier we were eating lunch in the Holiday Inn Crowne Plaza at Terrigal. I rang my two best men, Steven Travis and Brenden Wood, to remind them that on that day 12 years ago they’d been part of history – the history of Kylie and Justin. We feel so blessed to have such a wonderful marriage and family. And 12 years really has gone in the blink of an eye. It barely feels like three or four years!
Today we arose having had two wonderful nights of sleep. I felt good. We were at church early and were fortunate to hear three well-prepared talks about having moral courage – the courage to stand for what is right, even when we’re in a minority. It was a powerful meeting, even if Annie couldn’t manage the final twenty minutes and had to be taken for a walk. I taught the Young Men about prayer. It feels so great to talk about something that has made such a difference in my life. This afternoon we sweltered in the remnants of summer, stalking their way through our early autumn, and played with the children. Now we’re prepared for a brand new week, and counting down the final 28 days until our baby joins our family! We have so much to be grateful for.
Monday, 15 March 2010
Depletion
The past four weeks have left me time-poor and exhausted. My days have vanished breathlessly fast and I have found myself consistently pushed for time at every turn. Priorities are pounding on the creaky door of my capabilities faster and harder than I have time to process them. The never-ending rush of commitments, appointments, tasks, and family duties is leaving me depleted to an extent that I am not sure I’ve experienced before.
The last time I wrote I had just experienced a positive time in Melbourne. Since then progress at uni has been slow but sure. My ethics application is awaiting approval so that I can commence my next study. This should begin in the coming week or two. I am working on some more writing which I hope to finalise in draft form later this week. I received a surprise phone call some weeks ago regarding my work. The university offers a “commercialisation” programme for students whose research offers opportunities for entrepreneurial ideas. I had applied in 2009 and was shortlisted. As it turned out there was no space for me last year, but this year I was accepted to the programme. It means that I’m flying to the Gold Coast for a two day (all expenses paid) conference at the end of this week! I was also offered a scholarship to complete four courses associated with the programme. I took it on, but after just two weeks realised that it would simply not be possible for me to maintain such a workload. Trying to study law and finance at the same time as I complete my PhD, tutor 200 students, administer a subject, have a fifth baby, and renovate a home is simply foolish. So we waved goodbye to the money but regained a semblance of balance for a brief moment.
In the past four weeks our plans have been in at council awaiting approval. We’ve just received it and are allowed to commence work at our home. Now we’re just awaiting quotes from tradespeople and praying that we’ll be able to afford all the work that we have planned to do! We are excited to begin and hope to see some walls knocked down in the coming fortnight.
Kylie is now only 34 days away from the expected delivery date (April 18th). We are excited but very nervous. Fatigue and discomfort are our enemies and Kylie’s ability to do what our family requires of her is greatly diminished. As a result I am trying to do more but with less time and capacity than I would like due to my increased load at uni. It’s a challenging time. With the busy-ness we are feeling increasingly depleted, and it’s starting to rub off in family life. The children seem to be sensing that we are tired and try to get out of responsibilities. Their attitude and lack of contribution only add to the workload we carry. When Kylie has the baby I will take a couple of weeks off work and be around a great deal more. We are looking forward to the extra focus we’ll have at home during this period and anticipate greater order.
We have been trying to have a weekly date. Our success has been haphazard at best. But we continue to try. We love being together, perhaps more than anything else. Kylie is my favourite person to be with. Last week we ate Chickos for lunch in the park. I love Chickos. But the week before was amazing – prawn and mushroom fettucine. Yum! No date this week because I’m off to the Gold Coast, but I’m sure next week will work out fine.
Last Saturday I rode in a 12 hour endurance race. I was in a mixed team of four riders. It was held at Penrith and was a great day out, although I felt more than a little guilty for leaving my family behind. I was pleased when our team won the NSW championship Gold Medal for riding further than any other mixed team on the day – a distance of around 430kms in the allotted time.
A brief review of what the children are up to, and then I’m off to bed.
Chanel is thriving in all aspects. She loves her school, has many friends, and is doing well with her swimming and cycling. We would dearly love to introduce her to the piano. Her interest is high. But student budgets will only go so far. She certainly produces significantly challenging “attitude” at times, but for the most part Chanel is an amazing little contributor in our home. She works with Kylie or I every day at the cleaning contact we’ve taken on to help keep things going. (Centrelink have made two years worth of errors in our payments and over-payed us approximately $200 p/w. We’ve now lost that money and use the contract work to make up for what we no longer receive). This is helping her save her money very well. She’s growing into an articulate girl.
Abbie is improving all the time with her swimming and recently went up one more class level. She is developing beautifully with her piano work and loves tinkling the keys. Her teacher is pleased with her progress. Abbie is our little angel in so many ways. She has a stubborn streak though, and can be particularly difficult, if not impossible, to get moving in the mornings. She simply drifts off into her fairyland and forgets that we have a household to run!
Ella… I was reading over some past entries I’ve made with reference to Ella and it’s amazing how nothing really changes. This is the cutest little 6 year-old girl with the wickedest sense of humour. She genuinely charms and delights everyone around her with her unique take on things and her disarming character. Yet she has such boundless energy and such a free spirit that we can hardly keep tabs on her. She’s constantly sneaking out of the house to visit friends in the neighbourhood. She refuses to walk to school with her sisters, preferring to be independent (after all, she’s been in kindergarten for 6 weeks now!) Ella hates going to sleep and demands attention for long periods each night. Yet we look at her and smile with satisfaction and love as we consider her special soft heart, her desire to make good choices, and the fact that she is genuinely guileless. Ella is such a special child to us.
Annie seems to have declared war on Kylie and I. As with most children at around 30 months, Annie must have what Annie wants. That means three things – hard work for us, lots of flexibility, and seemingly endless screaming. We are doing what we can for her, but our angelic Annie has been doing all she can to assert herself as no longer being a baby. Yet Annie is beautifully affectionate, loves cuddles, must say EVERY prayer, and still delights us daily – even hourly.
We sweat and strain and stress over our children. We agonise over our choices. We know we make mistakes, and we know we get things right as well. We wonder, like most parents, if we really make a difference. We chastise and correct, we reprimand and rejoice. We read, clean, pick up, iron, wash, pick up, help, drive them, spend money on them, pick up, and so much more. We tire ourselves out in their service. We wish we could take back so many moments where our choices were not what we would have liked them to be. But regardless, we keep trying, and we will keep on trying – because we love them. We take such joy in seeing them grow. They matter most.
Tonight we taught a class to around ten young single adults, and older singles as well. We taught about standards, dating, and the law of chastity. We used Listerine and fruit juice to demonstrate that things should be done in the right order. The fruit juice first tasted sweet, and fresh on the palate. The Listerine followed and everything worked fine. But when we had a volunteer have the Listerine first, then the fruit juice the experience was less pleasant. It was an effective object lesson. We love teaching Gospel principles, and the people in the class seemed to appreciate our efforts and hopefully left feeling enriched.
My five minute update has gone on much longer than I anticipated, and I have completely overdone it. Must rest. So tired.
The last time I wrote I had just experienced a positive time in Melbourne. Since then progress at uni has been slow but sure. My ethics application is awaiting approval so that I can commence my next study. This should begin in the coming week or two. I am working on some more writing which I hope to finalise in draft form later this week. I received a surprise phone call some weeks ago regarding my work. The university offers a “commercialisation” programme for students whose research offers opportunities for entrepreneurial ideas. I had applied in 2009 and was shortlisted. As it turned out there was no space for me last year, but this year I was accepted to the programme. It means that I’m flying to the Gold Coast for a two day (all expenses paid) conference at the end of this week! I was also offered a scholarship to complete four courses associated with the programme. I took it on, but after just two weeks realised that it would simply not be possible for me to maintain such a workload. Trying to study law and finance at the same time as I complete my PhD, tutor 200 students, administer a subject, have a fifth baby, and renovate a home is simply foolish. So we waved goodbye to the money but regained a semblance of balance for a brief moment.
In the past four weeks our plans have been in at council awaiting approval. We’ve just received it and are allowed to commence work at our home. Now we’re just awaiting quotes from tradespeople and praying that we’ll be able to afford all the work that we have planned to do! We are excited to begin and hope to see some walls knocked down in the coming fortnight.
Kylie is now only 34 days away from the expected delivery date (April 18th). We are excited but very nervous. Fatigue and discomfort are our enemies and Kylie’s ability to do what our family requires of her is greatly diminished. As a result I am trying to do more but with less time and capacity than I would like due to my increased load at uni. It’s a challenging time. With the busy-ness we are feeling increasingly depleted, and it’s starting to rub off in family life. The children seem to be sensing that we are tired and try to get out of responsibilities. Their attitude and lack of contribution only add to the workload we carry. When Kylie has the baby I will take a couple of weeks off work and be around a great deal more. We are looking forward to the extra focus we’ll have at home during this period and anticipate greater order.
We have been trying to have a weekly date. Our success has been haphazard at best. But we continue to try. We love being together, perhaps more than anything else. Kylie is my favourite person to be with. Last week we ate Chickos for lunch in the park. I love Chickos. But the week before was amazing – prawn and mushroom fettucine. Yum! No date this week because I’m off to the Gold Coast, but I’m sure next week will work out fine.
Last Saturday I rode in a 12 hour endurance race. I was in a mixed team of four riders. It was held at Penrith and was a great day out, although I felt more than a little guilty for leaving my family behind. I was pleased when our team won the NSW championship Gold Medal for riding further than any other mixed team on the day – a distance of around 430kms in the allotted time.
A brief review of what the children are up to, and then I’m off to bed.
Chanel is thriving in all aspects. She loves her school, has many friends, and is doing well with her swimming and cycling. We would dearly love to introduce her to the piano. Her interest is high. But student budgets will only go so far. She certainly produces significantly challenging “attitude” at times, but for the most part Chanel is an amazing little contributor in our home. She works with Kylie or I every day at the cleaning contact we’ve taken on to help keep things going. (Centrelink have made two years worth of errors in our payments and over-payed us approximately $200 p/w. We’ve now lost that money and use the contract work to make up for what we no longer receive). This is helping her save her money very well. She’s growing into an articulate girl.
Abbie is improving all the time with her swimming and recently went up one more class level. She is developing beautifully with her piano work and loves tinkling the keys. Her teacher is pleased with her progress. Abbie is our little angel in so many ways. She has a stubborn streak though, and can be particularly difficult, if not impossible, to get moving in the mornings. She simply drifts off into her fairyland and forgets that we have a household to run!
Ella… I was reading over some past entries I’ve made with reference to Ella and it’s amazing how nothing really changes. This is the cutest little 6 year-old girl with the wickedest sense of humour. She genuinely charms and delights everyone around her with her unique take on things and her disarming character. Yet she has such boundless energy and such a free spirit that we can hardly keep tabs on her. She’s constantly sneaking out of the house to visit friends in the neighbourhood. She refuses to walk to school with her sisters, preferring to be independent (after all, she’s been in kindergarten for 6 weeks now!) Ella hates going to sleep and demands attention for long periods each night. Yet we look at her and smile with satisfaction and love as we consider her special soft heart, her desire to make good choices, and the fact that she is genuinely guileless. Ella is such a special child to us.
Annie seems to have declared war on Kylie and I. As with most children at around 30 months, Annie must have what Annie wants. That means three things – hard work for us, lots of flexibility, and seemingly endless screaming. We are doing what we can for her, but our angelic Annie has been doing all she can to assert herself as no longer being a baby. Yet Annie is beautifully affectionate, loves cuddles, must say EVERY prayer, and still delights us daily – even hourly.
We sweat and strain and stress over our children. We agonise over our choices. We know we make mistakes, and we know we get things right as well. We wonder, like most parents, if we really make a difference. We chastise and correct, we reprimand and rejoice. We read, clean, pick up, iron, wash, pick up, help, drive them, spend money on them, pick up, and so much more. We tire ourselves out in their service. We wish we could take back so many moments where our choices were not what we would have liked them to be. But regardless, we keep trying, and we will keep on trying – because we love them. We take such joy in seeing them grow. They matter most.
Tonight we taught a class to around ten young single adults, and older singles as well. We taught about standards, dating, and the law of chastity. We used Listerine and fruit juice to demonstrate that things should be done in the right order. The fruit juice first tasted sweet, and fresh on the palate. The Listerine followed and everything worked fine. But when we had a volunteer have the Listerine first, then the fruit juice the experience was less pleasant. It was an effective object lesson. We love teaching Gospel principles, and the people in the class seemed to appreciate our efforts and hopefully left feeling enriched.
My five minute update has gone on much longer than I anticipated, and I have completely overdone it. Must rest. So tired.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)