Sunday 19th September 2010
Monday started slowly. I had been up until midnight reading a compelling novel, The Hunger Games, and wanted to sleep instead. An unproductive day at work ensued, and a tiresome evening with angry children (or was it just me?) who didn’t want to cooperate as I attempted to teach them piano. To make things worse, Annie refused to go to sleep until 10pm. I read while I waited for Annie to finally go to sleep, but got engrossed in the second Hunger Games book, Catching Fire. I turned the final page at 1.30am.
Tuesday, 21 September 2010
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Going Too Fast
It has been a whirlwind three weeks in our home.
We enjoyed a visit from my parents for two nights a few weekends ago. Mum and dad arrived on Friday night. Mum taught an enrichment evening for the ladies at church. Dad and I took Abbie and Ella to watch “Southern Stars”, a spectacular show involving over 3000 school children dancing, singing, and acting. It was brilliant, particularly given the number of children, and that hardly any adults performed.
We enjoyed a visit from my parents for two nights a few weekends ago. Mum and dad arrived on Friday night. Mum taught an enrichment evening for the ladies at church. Dad and I took Abbie and Ella to watch “Southern Stars”, a spectacular show involving over 3000 school children dancing, singing, and acting. It was brilliant, particularly given the number of children, and that hardly any adults performed.
Monday, 23 August 2010
My Favourite Things
The past three weeks have been fairly ‘light on’ as far as news of any kind.
I spent the first of those three weeks in bed with a cold. No matter what I did, my health deteriorated until I lost my voice and could not do anything more than lie in bed and try to rest. During that time, Kylie managed the house and cared for our family essentially alone. I am grateful for a wife who is so willing to sacrifice for our family.
I spent the first of those three weeks in bed with a cold. No matter what I did, my health deteriorated until I lost my voice and could not do anything more than lie in bed and try to rest. During that time, Kylie managed the house and cared for our family essentially alone. I am grateful for a wife who is so willing to sacrifice for our family.
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Monday, 2 August 2010
Data, Publications, and Man Flu
In the last couple of weeks I have been struggling. We have had some financial issues in relation to our renovation, and my Ph. D. has been turning into a disaster. At one point Kylie and I discussed our various options related to our future, including moving to Gosford and working in Dad’s business, or moving back to QLD and opening a Chicken Shop. My life felt like it was falling in pieces. I had been praying, even fasting, for something positive to occur, but things felt as though they were on a perpetual downward spiral. Just days before this week began I thought to myself, “How many people have given up and turned around when success was literally one day away, or one major effort away”. I resolved to persist.
Tuesday our new plumber showed up. We put more holes into the wall to find a leak. He fixed many of the problems our previous plumber had left us with. He was amazed at the poor workmanship and actually asked us whether or not our original plumber was actually a qualified plumber. He described techniques that had been used by him that have not been allowed in Australia for 20 years or more because they don’t work. He fixed mistake after mistake. While we had to pay for all of this to be done, we felt reassured when he left. Our decision to conclude a messy relationship was vindicated, and our feelings about previous workmanship were also validated. There are still more things to fix, but we’re on the right pathway again. Phew.
Tuesday night we went to the Illawarra Performing Arts Centre to watch Ella Rose perform with her Kindergarten class in an adaptation of the Three Little Pigs. Ella was the star of the performance, playing the role of the wolf! The pigs were trying to create a band and the wolf wanted to be the singer. Every time she howled another house would fall down (made of straw or sticks). Her howling was impressive! Ella was a star. So confident too, performing in front of at least 100 people.
Wednesday I analysed my data. After the worst possible outcome two weeks ago with only 160 participants, I had worked hard to collect more. After obtaining another 170 participant responses I ended up with just over 330. My analysis yielded some exciting results. I felt so blessed! After months of stress and anxiety all my fears melted. The data will almost certainly be publishable, and there is now a very clear direction for me to move forward with my Ph. D. As long as my next study works out I could very well be in line to finish towards the end of the year or early next year. Amazing.
Since I analysed my data I have been on a huge high. I have not been able to sleep at night, and instead lay in bed thinking about my project, the things I need to write, and so on. I’ve completed one of the six books I’m presently reading, “Driven” – an autobiography of a successful Utah businessman. I enjoyed the book and appreciated several of the lessons he shared from his life. I’d give it 3 out of 5.
Friday was a day for celebration too. We received our tax returns. This enabled us to finalise all of our debt related to the renovation. Relief! I do not like being in debt. We also re-balanced our budget and have set our focus firmly on saving to complete the renovation, renovate our home in Brisbane, and buy me a new bike or two! (Ok, so I probably won’t get the bikes, but just thinking about it will motivate me to save more).
Saturday morning was like a perfect spring day. Warm, sunny, and too good to stay inside. Kylie took Ella to her first ever dance class. Ella was in rapture. She danced, pirouetted, and smiled the whole time. Meanwhile I took Chanel, Abbie, and Annie with me for a bike riding lesson at the park. After several deeply challenging experiences and a couple of painful crashes, Abbie finally rode her bike! It was probably due more to my persistence than hers. I simply was not going to let her leave without riding, and I knew she was capable. She came home feeling a little sore but very pleased with herself. Annie learned to keep her feet on the pedals, and to push them a little too. Slow progress. After riding, we played in the park for half an hour or so. They had such a fun time.
At lunch time Kylie and I left with Annie and Lilli to attend the wedding of a fellow Ph. D. Student. He kindly invited us and it was a treat to be able to be there for his special day. Meanwhile, the three big girls caught a bus with all the kids and teachers from church. They went to Campbelltown for a church-run kids disco. By the night time, everyone was completely pooped!
On Sunday morning there were some surprises for our family at church. I was interviewed and released as Young Men’s President. This was sad in some ways. Being involved with the youth is a terrific service opportunity, and I have enjoyed the time I’ve spent with the youth over the years. However, after years and years of being out a couple of nights each week every week, it’s nice to let it go. The best bit is my new calling. I’m the “Chapel Cleaning Coordinator”. No more meetings for a while for me! I make some phone calls and ensure that folks are cleaning the chapel each week. That’s it. I feel, honestly, like this is a heavenly blessing. This is giving me an opportunity to be at home with my family more, to focus on completing my Ph. D., and to support Kylie more in her various endeavours and responsibilities. So I’m actually delighted, and deeply grateful, for this unexpected but welcome change in circumstances.
Kylie has been wearing a support on her wrist for a little over a month now. She has developed some kind of repetitive strain injury related to holding the baby. We are concerned about her wrist, because it does not seem to be improving at all. An appointment with the specialist in the last few days has borne more bad news. He is referring us to a surgeon, believing that an operation is the best way to remedy the issue. I fail to see how cutting Kylie’s wrist open is going to make things better. We are praying for improvement so that Kylie does not have to go through something like that.
Annie has given us a couple of quality laughs this week too. At one point as Kylie tried to help her (she turns 3 at the end of this month), Annie exclaimed “I’m not a baby anymore mum.” She was so exasperated! Then a few days later as Kylie drove somewhere to drop Annie off for a play date, Annie got annoyed at the traffic. Kylie pulled up at a set of traffic lights. She was the second car, behind a red car. Annie yelled at the top of her voice, “Move away red car! Just move!”
Lastly, I received official notification that my article will be published. All changes have been accepted, and the article will be in press shortly. I’m delighted with how things have fallen into place this week. It has been a long road, but I can see a positive outcome on the horizon now.
It’s 3am Monday morning as I conclude this. The wind is howling, it’s freezing cold, and I seem to be doing a poor job of fighting off a case of “man-flu”. Sleep has fled. I’ve been awake for several hours. In spite of that, my reflection on this past week leaves me feeling blessed beyond deserving, and grateful for so many good things in my life.
Tuesday our new plumber showed up. We put more holes into the wall to find a leak. He fixed many of the problems our previous plumber had left us with. He was amazed at the poor workmanship and actually asked us whether or not our original plumber was actually a qualified plumber. He described techniques that had been used by him that have not been allowed in Australia for 20 years or more because they don’t work. He fixed mistake after mistake. While we had to pay for all of this to be done, we felt reassured when he left. Our decision to conclude a messy relationship was vindicated, and our feelings about previous workmanship were also validated. There are still more things to fix, but we’re on the right pathway again. Phew.
Tuesday night we went to the Illawarra Performing Arts Centre to watch Ella Rose perform with her Kindergarten class in an adaptation of the Three Little Pigs. Ella was the star of the performance, playing the role of the wolf! The pigs were trying to create a band and the wolf wanted to be the singer. Every time she howled another house would fall down (made of straw or sticks). Her howling was impressive! Ella was a star. So confident too, performing in front of at least 100 people.
Wednesday I analysed my data. After the worst possible outcome two weeks ago with only 160 participants, I had worked hard to collect more. After obtaining another 170 participant responses I ended up with just over 330. My analysis yielded some exciting results. I felt so blessed! After months of stress and anxiety all my fears melted. The data will almost certainly be publishable, and there is now a very clear direction for me to move forward with my Ph. D. As long as my next study works out I could very well be in line to finish towards the end of the year or early next year. Amazing.
Since I analysed my data I have been on a huge high. I have not been able to sleep at night, and instead lay in bed thinking about my project, the things I need to write, and so on. I’ve completed one of the six books I’m presently reading, “Driven” – an autobiography of a successful Utah businessman. I enjoyed the book and appreciated several of the lessons he shared from his life. I’d give it 3 out of 5.
Friday was a day for celebration too. We received our tax returns. This enabled us to finalise all of our debt related to the renovation. Relief! I do not like being in debt. We also re-balanced our budget and have set our focus firmly on saving to complete the renovation, renovate our home in Brisbane, and buy me a new bike or two! (Ok, so I probably won’t get the bikes, but just thinking about it will motivate me to save more).
Saturday morning was like a perfect spring day. Warm, sunny, and too good to stay inside. Kylie took Ella to her first ever dance class. Ella was in rapture. She danced, pirouetted, and smiled the whole time. Meanwhile I took Chanel, Abbie, and Annie with me for a bike riding lesson at the park. After several deeply challenging experiences and a couple of painful crashes, Abbie finally rode her bike! It was probably due more to my persistence than hers. I simply was not going to let her leave without riding, and I knew she was capable. She came home feeling a little sore but very pleased with herself. Annie learned to keep her feet on the pedals, and to push them a little too. Slow progress. After riding, we played in the park for half an hour or so. They had such a fun time.
At lunch time Kylie and I left with Annie and Lilli to attend the wedding of a fellow Ph. D. Student. He kindly invited us and it was a treat to be able to be there for his special day. Meanwhile, the three big girls caught a bus with all the kids and teachers from church. They went to Campbelltown for a church-run kids disco. By the night time, everyone was completely pooped!
On Sunday morning there were some surprises for our family at church. I was interviewed and released as Young Men’s President. This was sad in some ways. Being involved with the youth is a terrific service opportunity, and I have enjoyed the time I’ve spent with the youth over the years. However, after years and years of being out a couple of nights each week every week, it’s nice to let it go. The best bit is my new calling. I’m the “Chapel Cleaning Coordinator”. No more meetings for a while for me! I make some phone calls and ensure that folks are cleaning the chapel each week. That’s it. I feel, honestly, like this is a heavenly blessing. This is giving me an opportunity to be at home with my family more, to focus on completing my Ph. D., and to support Kylie more in her various endeavours and responsibilities. So I’m actually delighted, and deeply grateful, for this unexpected but welcome change in circumstances.
Kylie has been wearing a support on her wrist for a little over a month now. She has developed some kind of repetitive strain injury related to holding the baby. We are concerned about her wrist, because it does not seem to be improving at all. An appointment with the specialist in the last few days has borne more bad news. He is referring us to a surgeon, believing that an operation is the best way to remedy the issue. I fail to see how cutting Kylie’s wrist open is going to make things better. We are praying for improvement so that Kylie does not have to go through something like that.
Annie has given us a couple of quality laughs this week too. At one point as Kylie tried to help her (she turns 3 at the end of this month), Annie exclaimed “I’m not a baby anymore mum.” She was so exasperated! Then a few days later as Kylie drove somewhere to drop Annie off for a play date, Annie got annoyed at the traffic. Kylie pulled up at a set of traffic lights. She was the second car, behind a red car. Annie yelled at the top of her voice, “Move away red car! Just move!”
Lastly, I received official notification that my article will be published. All changes have been accepted, and the article will be in press shortly. I’m delighted with how things have fallen into place this week. It has been a long road, but I can see a positive outcome on the horizon now.
It’s 3am Monday morning as I conclude this. The wind is howling, it’s freezing cold, and I seem to be doing a poor job of fighting off a case of “man-flu”. Sleep has fled. I’ve been awake for several hours. In spite of that, my reflection on this past week leaves me feeling blessed beyond deserving, and grateful for so many good things in my life.
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Back into Routine
(Abbie May, age 7, wet, cold, and happy! At Kesh's 23rd Birthday Party, Booker Bay. July 2010).
Monday presented our first significant challenge of the week. After my decision to “fire” our plumber in the days prior, he showed up at our home. He had not heard my message, left on his phone in fury after we discovered our shower leaking behind our new walls, into our floor and onto our lower level ceiling. Kylie subsequently spoke with him at length and “re-employed” him to complete our work. He agreed to come back 8 days later to finalise things. When I found out that Kylie had done this I was angry. But Kylie did not like leaving things the way they were and I accepted that. I called him to explain that our family needed a bathroom that worked much sooner than the eight days he wanted us to wait. He asked me to call him back. Two hours later I did so. He and I engaged in a lengthy conversation which ended with me inviting him to decide if he wished to work for us anymore or not. He chose not to return. This saga ended with Kylie and I feeling drained. I actually felt “dirty”. The conversation was an unhappy one. I do not like it when relationships end so badly.
We had many misunderstandings over the work he was to do and the money he was to be paid. The misunderstandings went both ways, but he consistently chose not to communicate with us. My communications and expectations offended him. I was left with a quote in my mind from Irving Becker. A good friend, WG, loves to share this quote about the difficulty of being human: “If you don’t like someone, the way he holds his spoon will make you furious. If you do like him, he can turn his plate over in your lap and you won’t mind.” Our plumber seems to have been holding his spoon the wrong way, and he seems not to have liked the way we held our spoons either.
Tuesday saw us arise gloomy. We barely slept because of the conflict of the previous night. However, our new plumber visited. He confirmed to us that our fears concerning our old plumber were justified. This was disappointing, but also gave us hope that we could move forward and finalise this difficult renovation. That day I went to work and commenced data collection at a local swimming pool where parents sit with nothing to do while their children swim. In one week I’ve collected data from nearly 150 parents. This is a worthwhile use of my time – if only my data will work out!
Tuesday morning was also the resumption of school for the children. Kylie and I have worked hard to create a new routine and schedule. We implemented it with precision all week and are delighted with how well it is working. The children are out the door every morning by 8.30am. We’ve had scripture study as a family, the children have practiced the piano, we’ve all eaten, and the house is relatively tidy. In the evenings we’ve eaten by 6.30 and the children are in bed by 7.30. It feels great. (If I hadn’t stayed up to watch the Tour de France it would feel even better!)
On Tuesday Kylie received some sad news from her mum. Kylie’s grandfather (in NZ) is particularly unwell. Kylie asked the children to write him a letter. They’ve never met him and were a little bit apprehensive. Their letters were finally written and were heartfelt letters of love, hope, and kindness. After Abbie had written her letter, Kylie found her crying. Abbie explained that she was sad her grandfather was not well, and just wanted to meet him and hug him and tell him that she loved him. We are so deeply grateful for Abbie’s tenderness.
We have adored watching our Lilli Emma grow. Already it seems that she is no longer a little baby. At 3.5 months of age she is big and healthy and happy. There is no other feeling like staring into the face and eyes of such an amazing, perfect little child. Her smile lifts my soul. We are awaiting news on some tests that Lilli is to have. There are some concerns over her development with her vision and sight. We are hopeful that she will be given an “all clear” from the specialists.
(Chanel Lauren, age 10. Wet, cold, and loving it! Kesh's 23rd Birthday Bash at Booker Bay. July 2010).
Annie Grace seems to be finally readjusting to life in our home. After several challenging months we are seeing her return to her previously delightful self. Perhaps it has something to do with our improved routine, the lack of building work going on, and the fact that our home is less “broken” than it has been lately. Annie loves to talk on the phone. When it rings, be prepared to spend time talking to Annie – or should I say, listening to Annie. When Annie holds the phone, she doesn’t place it anywhere near her ear. She puts it in front of her mouth and talks… and talks, and talks! No matter what you say to her, she will not hear. She simply talks. It’s so funny, and she gets so excited. I love hearing her talk to me. Her little voice prattles on, and cracks as she gets excited! She gasps for air in between long sentences. Her enthusiasm and love of life is elevating.
Saturday morning I did something a little crazy. After trying to have a good night’s sleep, I arose a little after 4am, dressed in my bike clothes, and braved the cold and rain as I rode north to Gosford. The trip is approximately 172kms. On my previous attempt I made it to Berowra. I was determined to do better on this trip. I paced myself, ate well, and managed the ride in 6 hours and one minute precisely. My avg speed was 28.6km/h. By the time I was at my final 30kms I was starting to question my sanity, but as I rode the final climb I felt almost euphoric. I had done it!
The family arrived in Gosford around an hour after I did, and we had a delightful time with the entire family as we celebrated Kesh’s birthday. Between Tim and Kesh’s siblings there were about 20 children under the age of 12 there! With all the adults thrown in as well, there was quite a crowd. Kylie and I were enjoying time together, and chatted with everyone before we noticed that there were no children to be seen. Tim and Kesh had walked them down to the beach, about 500 metres away from their unit. I wandered off, wanting to ensure that everything was fine. It was a beautiful day, but despite the sunshine it’s the middle of winter. The air was cold. When I got to the beach I found Tim, Kesh, and 20 children, all as happy as can be. But the children were shivering – and dripping wet! They’d ended up swimming in their clothes!
(Ella Rose, doing what her big sisters did! Age 6)
I was annoyed, but had to laugh about it for two reasons. First, the kids were simply thrilled they’d been swimming, despite the freezing cold water and the chilly day. Second, Tim and Kesh have no children so they thought letting the kids play in the water was fun. But I knew that if I was a little annoyed, there would be some very upset parents back at the house. Sure enough… Tim and Kesh copped it from those who had long drives ahead of them. No one had spare clothes, and no one wanted wet, sandy children in their cars. In spite of it all, the children had fun, and Tim and Kesh did their best. I think I must be calming down as I get older, because within just a few moments I could see the funny side of it all. Plus, while the kids were cold, they were happy.
We stayed overnight Saturday at mum and dad’s place and went to church in Gosford. Church was uplifting. It’s been some time since I’ve really been able to say that with conviction. Often it’s a drain. The children, the responsibilities, and the lack of inspiring material leave me feeling worn out more than uplifted on many a week. But this Sunday was different. Talks were meaningful and well-prepared. Even though they were not particularly relevant to me, I enjoyed them. And the music was uplifting. As we sang ‘Secret Prayer’ to close the meeting, the chorus was sung loudly, with purpose. It filled me.
I had an inspiring catch-up with Mat Steinwede. I appreciated his effort in spending time with me and sharing ideas about projects I’d almost given up on. And we had a traditional Sunday roast with mum. The kids played with their cousins all afternoon too. Our girls love their cousins, and they play surprisingly well.
We left the Central Coast tired, but feeling great. We have a plan and it’s working. Our children are healthy and happy. We feel blessed.
Sunday, 18 July 2010
Making Tough Calls
Sunday July 18th, 2010
The past fortnight has been littered with highs and lows. I have felt myself stretched in so many different ways. I wish that I had responded to all of the challenges perfectly. Alas, I am susceptible to make mistakes similar to most mortals, and I have demonstrated my humanity for better or worse on each occasion.
Our washing machine failed us (again) after several years of service. We purchased a new and expensive European branded machine. We like our machine, but in hindsight we rushed our purchase and its purchase has led to unforseen challenges in other areas. In spite of this, we have survived for now. We also made an arguable poor decision in finalising our tapware purchases for the children’s bathroom. Taps are expensive! We chose to spend money on taps that were not in our budget. We have learned some valuable budgeting lessons.
Kylie took the children away to QLD for ten days to commence the school holidays. They had a wonderful time with family and friends. Chanel and Ella had time with the Holzworths, while Kylie and the other children were kept busy with relatives and other friends. They had a wonderful time.
While the family were in QLD I turned my attention to data that required analysing. The data don’t work. This is devastating for me. In my despair I attempted to contact my supervisor for guidance. He was not available, nor has he been for over six months. I emailed him and shared my feelings about his lack of involvement in my work. My email was direct and clear – his supervision in the past 6-12 months has been inadequate. His response surprised me. We met the following day and he apologised, recommitting to my project. It was hard to send that email, but I sense that it was certainly the right thing to do.
I received some positive news in relation to my PhD. I have had a theoretical paper accepted for publication. I will be published in the Journal of Humanistic Psychology. My paper describes the findings from an investigation into “Calling” in the Childrearing role. This is a major success for me. Peer reviewed publications have been a challenge for me and it feels terrific to see this working out.
I flew into Brisbane on Sunday night, met Kylie and the family at the airport, and drove south. We drove through the night, arriving at Coffs Harbour around 2am. The children were asleep soon after we began our drive, and Kylie and I had the opportunity to talk. We spoke the whole way, perhaps for more time (uninterrupted) than we’ve spoken in half-a-dozen years. Our time apart had given us both the opportunity to consider our progress in various aspects of our lives. We recommitted to improvement, and set specific plans to achieve more of what our family will benefit most from.
After not enough sleep in Coffs Harbour we drove to Gosford to visit my family. Mum put on an impromptu roast dinner and invited the entire family. We had expected to pop in and out quickly! It was really nice to have everyone show up to see us though. We appreciate our family and the effort they are willing to go to in order to spend time with us. After delicious food we drove through to Wollongong. It was nice to have my family home again. I missed them while they were away.
During the past week we have tried hard to complete the renovation. Our tiler has all but finished his work now and our wet areas should be complete. However, our plumber has not completed his work. In spite of this, he expected to be paid. My suggestion that he complete his work before being paid led to an unwelcome conflict. He left – empty-handed – and has refused to answer our calls since. This morning we discovered yet another leak. The leak has already caused us problems. He had “fixed it” previously. The leak is in our new walls. To fix it requires us to knock holes in our walls. It leaks down through our new ceilings. I called him. He did not answer. I left him a message. He is not welcome in our home again, and he will not be paid. This was a difficult and uncomfortable thing to do. I prefer relationships to remain pleasant. However, a new plumber will have to be employed to fix his many mistakes. We will also require other tradespeople to repair the damage that will be caused to our home as we attempt to right his many wrongs. We anticipate that the costs required to repair his mess will far outweigh what we owed him. However we will not pursue him. We would rather move ahead than dwell on past pains. Lesson learned – if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck. He made many mistakes early on and we could have fired him then. We should have.
So after several ups and downs, and some tough decisions, we find ourselves enjoying a wonderful afternoon in our partly renovated, leaky house. We ate pancakes for lunch. We had a family home evening and spent time with the children talking about our plans for the future. They are excited and seem anxious to make things work well in our family. Annie and Lilli are sleeping. Kylie and the children are making home-made cards for friends. I am reflecting on the past few weeks and am thinking that, despite the many issues we face, life is remarkably good. We look forward to the future with optimism and hope, confident that we can make great changes that will improve life even more.
The past fortnight has been littered with highs and lows. I have felt myself stretched in so many different ways. I wish that I had responded to all of the challenges perfectly. Alas, I am susceptible to make mistakes similar to most mortals, and I have demonstrated my humanity for better or worse on each occasion.
Our washing machine failed us (again) after several years of service. We purchased a new and expensive European branded machine. We like our machine, but in hindsight we rushed our purchase and its purchase has led to unforseen challenges in other areas. In spite of this, we have survived for now. We also made an arguable poor decision in finalising our tapware purchases for the children’s bathroom. Taps are expensive! We chose to spend money on taps that were not in our budget. We have learned some valuable budgeting lessons.
Kylie took the children away to QLD for ten days to commence the school holidays. They had a wonderful time with family and friends. Chanel and Ella had time with the Holzworths, while Kylie and the other children were kept busy with relatives and other friends. They had a wonderful time.
While the family were in QLD I turned my attention to data that required analysing. The data don’t work. This is devastating for me. In my despair I attempted to contact my supervisor for guidance. He was not available, nor has he been for over six months. I emailed him and shared my feelings about his lack of involvement in my work. My email was direct and clear – his supervision in the past 6-12 months has been inadequate. His response surprised me. We met the following day and he apologised, recommitting to my project. It was hard to send that email, but I sense that it was certainly the right thing to do.
I received some positive news in relation to my PhD. I have had a theoretical paper accepted for publication. I will be published in the Journal of Humanistic Psychology. My paper describes the findings from an investigation into “Calling” in the Childrearing role. This is a major success for me. Peer reviewed publications have been a challenge for me and it feels terrific to see this working out.
I flew into Brisbane on Sunday night, met Kylie and the family at the airport, and drove south. We drove through the night, arriving at Coffs Harbour around 2am. The children were asleep soon after we began our drive, and Kylie and I had the opportunity to talk. We spoke the whole way, perhaps for more time (uninterrupted) than we’ve spoken in half-a-dozen years. Our time apart had given us both the opportunity to consider our progress in various aspects of our lives. We recommitted to improvement, and set specific plans to achieve more of what our family will benefit most from.
After not enough sleep in Coffs Harbour we drove to Gosford to visit my family. Mum put on an impromptu roast dinner and invited the entire family. We had expected to pop in and out quickly! It was really nice to have everyone show up to see us though. We appreciate our family and the effort they are willing to go to in order to spend time with us. After delicious food we drove through to Wollongong. It was nice to have my family home again. I missed them while they were away.
During the past week we have tried hard to complete the renovation. Our tiler has all but finished his work now and our wet areas should be complete. However, our plumber has not completed his work. In spite of this, he expected to be paid. My suggestion that he complete his work before being paid led to an unwelcome conflict. He left – empty-handed – and has refused to answer our calls since. This morning we discovered yet another leak. The leak has already caused us problems. He had “fixed it” previously. The leak is in our new walls. To fix it requires us to knock holes in our walls. It leaks down through our new ceilings. I called him. He did not answer. I left him a message. He is not welcome in our home again, and he will not be paid. This was a difficult and uncomfortable thing to do. I prefer relationships to remain pleasant. However, a new plumber will have to be employed to fix his many mistakes. We will also require other tradespeople to repair the damage that will be caused to our home as we attempt to right his many wrongs. We anticipate that the costs required to repair his mess will far outweigh what we owed him. However we will not pursue him. We would rather move ahead than dwell on past pains. Lesson learned – if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck. He made many mistakes early on and we could have fired him then. We should have.
So after several ups and downs, and some tough decisions, we find ourselves enjoying a wonderful afternoon in our partly renovated, leaky house. We ate pancakes for lunch. We had a family home evening and spent time with the children talking about our plans for the future. They are excited and seem anxious to make things work well in our family. Annie and Lilli are sleeping. Kylie and the children are making home-made cards for friends. I am reflecting on the past few weeks and am thinking that, despite the many issues we face, life is remarkably good. We look forward to the future with optimism and hope, confident that we can make great changes that will improve life even more.
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