Charity Begins at Home

Today in sacrament meeting Kylie gave a talk. It was a better talk than any I've ever given.

I've pasted the talk, in its entirety, below...

Charity Begins at Home

Justin thought it ironic as I moved around the house last night, moody and broody that I was to give a talk today on Charity begins at home. I can assume from his gentle retort that this talk is as much for me as it may be for you here today.

Oftentimes we are like the young merchant from Boston, who in 1849, as the story goes, was caught up in the fervor of the California gold rush. He sold all of his possessions to seek his fortune in the California rivers, which he was told were filled with gold nuggets so big that one could hardly carry them.

Day after endless day, the young man dipped his pan into the river and came up empty. His only reward was a growing pile of rocks. Discouraged and broke, he was ready to quit until one day an old, experienced prospector said to him, “That’s quite a pile of rocks you are getting there, my boy.”

The young man replied, “There’s no gold here. I’m going back home.”

Walking over to the pile of rocks, the old prospector said, “Oh, there is gold all right. You just have to know where to find it.” He picked two rocks up in his hands and crashed them together. One of the rocks split open, revealing several flecks of gold sparkling in the sunlight.

Noticing a bulging leather pouch fastened to the prospector’s waist, the young man said, “I’m looking for nuggets like the ones in your pouch, not just tiny flecks.”

The old prospector extended his pouch toward the young man, who looked inside, expecting to see several large nuggets. He was stunned to see that the pouch was filled with thousands of flecks of gold.

The old prospector said, “Son, it seems to me you are so busy looking for large nuggets that you’re missing filling your pouch with these precious flecks of gold. The patient accumulation of these little flecks has brought me great wealth.”

This story illustrates the spiritual truth that Alma taught his son Helaman:

“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. …

I use this story told by M Russell Ballard at our last April general conference as the basis for all I share with you today. It has had a profound impact on me and it is my hope that each of you may glean this day if you have not already some flecks of gold that may help in your individual circumstances.

The topic of today’s meeting centres around home and in particular the love that we can and should feel within the walls of this hallowed sanction.

During the week, my husband was asked the question- Is there such a thing as a happy family? For those of you who are unaware, my husband has devoted the last 8 years of his life and continues to research what makes a family happy. He runs a business to help families, parents, to have happier families. In a world filled with sorrow, selfishness reins supreme, this question is asked all too often.

This man’s experience sadly reflects that of many families, where the comforts of food, shelter and life’s necessities are provided freely, but the much need for connection, physical and emotional are squeezed out of family life, in lieu of the growing demands for financial success and security, job satisfaction and career climbing, the many forms of media and technology that become all consuming and our desires to give those we love the things we never had – the luxuries of the 21st century.

Are we like the inexperienced merchant in search of gold nuggets so big we can hardly hold them, that we lose sight of the small flecks of gold that surround us daily?

The Proclamation of the Family states: “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.

If this is the case, what are the small and simple things the Lord has taught us that will bring such happiness to our family life, in whatever form that family takes.

Elder Ballard goes on to say: I believe there is one simple but profound—even sublime—principle that encompasses the entirety of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If we wholeheartedly embrace this principle and make it the focus of our lives, it will purify and sanctify us so we can live once again in the presence of God.

The Savior spoke of this principle when He answered the Pharisee who asked, “Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 22:36–40).

It is only when we love God and Christ with all of our hearts, souls, and minds that we are able to share this love with our neighbours (and might I add our family members) through acts of kindness and service—the way that the Saviour would love and serve all of us if He were among us today.

When we put this question to our children and discussed whether or not there was such a thing as a happy family- we decided that no, happy families weren’t extinct and that, yes a happy family consisted of members collectively and actively engaged and concerned for the needs of the family as opposed to their own personal pursuits, where members are willing, if needed, to sacrifice their wants for the well being of the family. These responsibilities do not fall solely on the shoulders of the parents but on all involved.

I remember a time in my youth when I was anticipating the opportunity to participate in the much awaited annual youth temple trip that was held at the beginning of each school year. Living in Brisbane this was a big deal. As a youth group we would fundraise throughout the year to be able to pay our way, delivering telephone books and chocolate drives. Then as the time approached we would make the 13hr drive by bus to the Sydney temple accommodation where we would stay for 3 days and immerse ourselves in the holy workings within the temple walls. As many of you will know firsthand, I believe these visits to the temple were a much needed safe guard against all that Satan throws at our youth when they are their most impressionable and vulnerable.

A few days before we were to depart we had a very unfortunate and devastating emotional blow to our family. My uncle who had been suffering for some time with depression had taken his life in a very torturing way. The gruesome details of this event harrowed us for some time as we came to terms as individuals and collectively as a family with this.

In my heart of hearts I knew that to attend the temple would bring me peace, the peace I longed for, but I also was aware that this was a time when we as a family needed to be there together to hold one another up and buoy each other through the stormy waters of emotions that flowed for sometime after this event. There was no right or wrong. These were two important and note worthy choices, each enlisting blessings from on high. However I knew that this time was to be with my family. And that knowledge governed my choice.

In Moroni 7: 46-47 we read... (Kylie opened her scriptures and shared these verses).

Elder Ballard said: When this pure love of Christ—or charity—envelops us, we think, feel, and act more like Heavenly Father and Jesus would think, feel, and act. Our motivation and heartfelt desire are like unto that of the Saviour. He shared this desire with His Apostles on the eve of His Crucifixion.

He said: "A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you. …By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:34–35).

The love the Saviour described is an active love. It is not manifested through large and heroic deeds but rather through simple acts of kindness and service. Or in other words It is not through large nuggets so big you can hardly carry them, but through small flecks of gold that this love is manifested daily.

Love is a verb. It is not enough to say we love, we must act.

It was at my mother’s side that I learned the art of love as I watched her tenderly care for my great uncle in his last months of mortality, when I would find strangers clothes hanging on our washing line and know that she was serving another, when she would make an extra loaf of coconut bread to let a sister know she was thought of, the countless hours she spent on the phone, as others offloaded the weight of their world on her shoulders. I learned how to tenderly care for and cope with the demands of a newborn child, to sing to and love each special hold, to bath and dress and comb and groom. To keep house and take pride in my space whatever the size, to find joy in a job well done.

It was at my mother’s side I learned what it meant to forgive when the actions of others seemed unforgivable. I learned the power of the atonement and its healing reality in my own life. It was at my mother’s side I learned to put the gospel into action, I learned to make good and wholesome choices. I learned that a mistake was never wasted if I learned from that experience. I learned to pick myself up again each time I fell and to look forward to the future and all it holds in store. I learned to stand tall and stand for all that is good and right. I learned that to love was so much more than saying those three words, I love you

It was by my father’s example I learned the power and reality of the priesthood, god’s power on the earth, I learned that sometimes others needs did come before my own, I learned to listen, to not judge others, to give them the benefit of the doubt. I learned to laugh at myself, a work in progress and how not to do a hundred and one odd jobs around the house. I learned to work hard and true and to be honest in all my dealings. I learned to pay the lord a full and honest tithe and to love, my dad taught me to love. He taught me to see past the facade or exterior of others, the hard shell that we often put forward as a protection from further pain and to see their heart, to see the diamond in the rough. He taught me to trust and that a helping hand was only a phone call away. He taught me there is always two sides to a story and to look for the bigger picture. It was this daily accumulation of these small flecks of gold that has made me wealthy beyond words. It was the things they did, more than the things they said, that taught me the virtue of Charity long before I knew what Charity was.

Elder Uchtdorf has said: "Too often we fail to experience the bliss that comes from daily, practical... service. At times assignments can feel like burdens. .. let us not pass through life immersed in the three Ws: wearied, worrying, and whining. We live beneath our privileges when we allow worldly anchors to keep us away from the abundant joy that comes from faithful and dedicated ...service, especially within the walls of our own homes. We live beneath our privileges when we fail to partake of the feast of happiness, peace, and joy that God grants so bountifully to faithful ... servants."

The scriptures list all that charity encompasses. As members of a family there are opportunities every day available to us to practice this great art, to be long suffering, and kind, to be satisfied with the gifts and talents the Lord has blessed us with and find joy in the gifts and talents of others. To be more concerned for the needs of others, than our own, to be slow to anger, to think clean and pure thoughts. To believe and rejoice in truth and bear one another up. To have a hope for all things good, a positive attitude in all we do and when all else fails to endure it well.

It is not in the big things we do that our children and those within the walls of our home learn what it means to be charitable, it is in the day to day consistent small and simple acts of deliberate and selfless service that we give them the greatest lessons of this Christ like and pure love.

Let us not find ourselves like the young merchant, so close to a wealth untold, but lacking in the knowledge of where to find it, but learn that it is in the little things not only do we show love, but we find joy.

Like the small flecks of gold that accumulate over time into a large treasure, our small and simple acts of kindness and service within the walls of our own home, will accumulate into a life filled with love for Heavenly Father, devotion to the work of the Lord Jesus Christ, and a sense of peace and joy each time we reach out to one another. Those within our reach will surely come to learn that Charity begins at home.