After realising that I was in over my head the changes I’ve made are feeling very good. Dropping out of unnecessary classes has made the biggest difference. Now my only focus in my PhD and regular teaching commitments and I’m feeling much more in control of things at school. My week was not particularly productive but I think that may have been a result of being a little burnt out. I anticipate that this coming week will be exceptionally productive.
We’ve received more quotes for our home renovation. It appears that we have exactly half the money needed to make all the hoped for changes. The full cost of the renovation will be somewhere in the order of $80-$90 000 and we’re about halfway to that amount. So we’re looking for ways to change our plans, buy materials cheap, do some work ourselves, and otherwise save a whole lot of money. Once the home is complete, we’ll sell, maximise our profit, and hopefully find another home in which we can do it all again!
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday passed in a blur this week. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred, with me at uni being sadly unproductive, the children going to school, and Kylie doing her things at home.
Wednesday afternoon I flew to the Gold Coast for a conference in commercialisation of research. The idea was that PhD students were being recruited for the commercial potential of their research. We were given a two day conference aimed at teaching us how we might commercialise what we do, but also “who” we might use to aid in the process. Obviously the organisation who paid our expenses was hoping that they might gain our attention. I sense that there are both advantages and disadvantages to their proposals, but will spend some time exploring options in the coming months.
Thursday I spent the day in conference. The food was enjoyable, the content of the presentations was dull but relevant enough to me to keep my attention (barely). Unfortunately both Wednesday and Thursday nights I was unable to sleep in the hotel and by Friday morning I had a migraine so bad that I couldn’t even hold food. It seemed to rack my entire body. I attempted to attend the conference but could barely sit up the pain was so great. I checked back into my room for another couple of hours, prayed that sleep would come, and then I rested. Slumber arrived and around fifty minutes later housekeeping woke me. It was enough. I got through the remainder of the day and slowly regained my strength.
Arriving home on Friday at 10pm I caught up on family news. Abbie is excelling with her piano lessons, and progressing quickly. Ella seemed to have a 48-hour growth spurt and appeared at least two inches taller than she was when I left! And Chanel had a stellar night at the velodrome, winning a $10 cash prize for her racing, and also a pair of clear sunglasses for riding at night! She was delighted.
Saturday was a day full of happy moments. I chose not to ride, preferring to rest and spend time with the family after my time away. Kylie and I slept in a little and cuddled with each of the children as they staggered into our room to greet me after my trip. We wrestled, giggled, cuddled some more, and felt joy together. We played in the pool for a couple of hours, and also scrubbed the bottom of it. I discovered I can stay on the bottom of the pool much longer when Kylie stands on my back! So I made my way around the pool with Kylie holding me down until I couldn’t stand it any longer.
We came inside, showered, and raced off to Sydney, leaving the children with a babysitter. With two hours to get into the city, we were confident we could make it. However, traffic slowed us to around 1km every 10 minutes and it looked as though we’d be late. Prayers were offered. Traffic thinned. And miraculously we found a parking space only two blocks from the Capitol Theatre, right in the heart of the city. What’s more, it was on the street and not in a parking station, so the price was only a touch under $7 for over 3 hours! Unheard of in the centre of town where we would expect to pay closer to $25.
Kylie hobbled beside me as we raced to the theatre. We arrived as the doors were closing – literally! We were ushered to our seats, the lights dimmed, and WICKED began. Wicked is the “previously untold” story of the Wicked Witch of the East and the Wicked With of the West, two witches killed in the Wizard of Oz. The tale was intriguing, the set was spectacular, the music was magnificent, and the plot was powerful. For three hours we were immersed in the play, completely enthralled with a superbly crafted story. I give the play an “A” and recommend it highly. I can’t guarantee that everyone will like it, but I can say that Kylie and I thought it was well worth it, and we’d go and see it again tomorrow if we could (and we’d take the children to see it too).
We concluded our twelfth wedding anniversary by eating Thai food as we put the children to bed. Our twelve years is more than one-third of our lives! We’ve been married 12 years, yet it feels such a short while. We enjoyed reflecting on the various parts of our wedding day. As we tickled the children in bed we reminisced that 12 years earlier we were driving to the temple at that time of the morning. As we drove to Sydney we commented that 12 years earlier we were eating lunch in the Holiday Inn Crowne Plaza at Terrigal. I rang my two best men, Steven Travis and Brenden Wood, to remind them that on that day 12 years ago they’d been part of history – the history of Kylie and Justin. We feel so blessed to have such a wonderful marriage and family. And 12 years really has gone in the blink of an eye. It barely feels like three or four years!
Today we arose having had two wonderful nights of sleep. I felt good. We were at church early and were fortunate to hear three well-prepared talks about having moral courage – the courage to stand for what is right, even when we’re in a minority. It was a powerful meeting, even if Annie couldn’t manage the final twenty minutes and had to be taken for a walk. I taught the Young Men about prayer. It feels so great to talk about something that has made such a difference in my life. This afternoon we sweltered in the remnants of summer, stalking their way through our early autumn, and played with the children. Now we’re prepared for a brand new week, and counting down the final 28 days until our baby joins our family! We have so much to be grateful for.
Sunday, 21 March 2010
Monday, 15 March 2010
Depletion
The past four weeks have left me time-poor and exhausted. My days have vanished breathlessly fast and I have found myself consistently pushed for time at every turn. Priorities are pounding on the creaky door of my capabilities faster and harder than I have time to process them. The never-ending rush of commitments, appointments, tasks, and family duties is leaving me depleted to an extent that I am not sure I’ve experienced before.
The last time I wrote I had just experienced a positive time in Melbourne. Since then progress at uni has been slow but sure. My ethics application is awaiting approval so that I can commence my next study. This should begin in the coming week or two. I am working on some more writing which I hope to finalise in draft form later this week. I received a surprise phone call some weeks ago regarding my work. The university offers a “commercialisation” programme for students whose research offers opportunities for entrepreneurial ideas. I had applied in 2009 and was shortlisted. As it turned out there was no space for me last year, but this year I was accepted to the programme. It means that I’m flying to the Gold Coast for a two day (all expenses paid) conference at the end of this week! I was also offered a scholarship to complete four courses associated with the programme. I took it on, but after just two weeks realised that it would simply not be possible for me to maintain such a workload. Trying to study law and finance at the same time as I complete my PhD, tutor 200 students, administer a subject, have a fifth baby, and renovate a home is simply foolish. So we waved goodbye to the money but regained a semblance of balance for a brief moment.
In the past four weeks our plans have been in at council awaiting approval. We’ve just received it and are allowed to commence work at our home. Now we’re just awaiting quotes from tradespeople and praying that we’ll be able to afford all the work that we have planned to do! We are excited to begin and hope to see some walls knocked down in the coming fortnight.
Kylie is now only 34 days away from the expected delivery date (April 18th). We are excited but very nervous. Fatigue and discomfort are our enemies and Kylie’s ability to do what our family requires of her is greatly diminished. As a result I am trying to do more but with less time and capacity than I would like due to my increased load at uni. It’s a challenging time. With the busy-ness we are feeling increasingly depleted, and it’s starting to rub off in family life. The children seem to be sensing that we are tired and try to get out of responsibilities. Their attitude and lack of contribution only add to the workload we carry. When Kylie has the baby I will take a couple of weeks off work and be around a great deal more. We are looking forward to the extra focus we’ll have at home during this period and anticipate greater order.
We have been trying to have a weekly date. Our success has been haphazard at best. But we continue to try. We love being together, perhaps more than anything else. Kylie is my favourite person to be with. Last week we ate Chickos for lunch in the park. I love Chickos. But the week before was amazing – prawn and mushroom fettucine. Yum! No date this week because I’m off to the Gold Coast, but I’m sure next week will work out fine.
Last Saturday I rode in a 12 hour endurance race. I was in a mixed team of four riders. It was held at Penrith and was a great day out, although I felt more than a little guilty for leaving my family behind. I was pleased when our team won the NSW championship Gold Medal for riding further than any other mixed team on the day – a distance of around 430kms in the allotted time.
A brief review of what the children are up to, and then I’m off to bed.
Chanel is thriving in all aspects. She loves her school, has many friends, and is doing well with her swimming and cycling. We would dearly love to introduce her to the piano. Her interest is high. But student budgets will only go so far. She certainly produces significantly challenging “attitude” at times, but for the most part Chanel is an amazing little contributor in our home. She works with Kylie or I every day at the cleaning contact we’ve taken on to help keep things going. (Centrelink have made two years worth of errors in our payments and over-payed us approximately $200 p/w. We’ve now lost that money and use the contract work to make up for what we no longer receive). This is helping her save her money very well. She’s growing into an articulate girl.
Abbie is improving all the time with her swimming and recently went up one more class level. She is developing beautifully with her piano work and loves tinkling the keys. Her teacher is pleased with her progress. Abbie is our little angel in so many ways. She has a stubborn streak though, and can be particularly difficult, if not impossible, to get moving in the mornings. She simply drifts off into her fairyland and forgets that we have a household to run!
Ella… I was reading over some past entries I’ve made with reference to Ella and it’s amazing how nothing really changes. This is the cutest little 6 year-old girl with the wickedest sense of humour. She genuinely charms and delights everyone around her with her unique take on things and her disarming character. Yet she has such boundless energy and such a free spirit that we can hardly keep tabs on her. She’s constantly sneaking out of the house to visit friends in the neighbourhood. She refuses to walk to school with her sisters, preferring to be independent (after all, she’s been in kindergarten for 6 weeks now!) Ella hates going to sleep and demands attention for long periods each night. Yet we look at her and smile with satisfaction and love as we consider her special soft heart, her desire to make good choices, and the fact that she is genuinely guileless. Ella is such a special child to us.
Annie seems to have declared war on Kylie and I. As with most children at around 30 months, Annie must have what Annie wants. That means three things – hard work for us, lots of flexibility, and seemingly endless screaming. We are doing what we can for her, but our angelic Annie has been doing all she can to assert herself as no longer being a baby. Yet Annie is beautifully affectionate, loves cuddles, must say EVERY prayer, and still delights us daily – even hourly.
We sweat and strain and stress over our children. We agonise over our choices. We know we make mistakes, and we know we get things right as well. We wonder, like most parents, if we really make a difference. We chastise and correct, we reprimand and rejoice. We read, clean, pick up, iron, wash, pick up, help, drive them, spend money on them, pick up, and so much more. We tire ourselves out in their service. We wish we could take back so many moments where our choices were not what we would have liked them to be. But regardless, we keep trying, and we will keep on trying – because we love them. We take such joy in seeing them grow. They matter most.
Tonight we taught a class to around ten young single adults, and older singles as well. We taught about standards, dating, and the law of chastity. We used Listerine and fruit juice to demonstrate that things should be done in the right order. The fruit juice first tasted sweet, and fresh on the palate. The Listerine followed and everything worked fine. But when we had a volunteer have the Listerine first, then the fruit juice the experience was less pleasant. It was an effective object lesson. We love teaching Gospel principles, and the people in the class seemed to appreciate our efforts and hopefully left feeling enriched.
My five minute update has gone on much longer than I anticipated, and I have completely overdone it. Must rest. So tired.
The last time I wrote I had just experienced a positive time in Melbourne. Since then progress at uni has been slow but sure. My ethics application is awaiting approval so that I can commence my next study. This should begin in the coming week or two. I am working on some more writing which I hope to finalise in draft form later this week. I received a surprise phone call some weeks ago regarding my work. The university offers a “commercialisation” programme for students whose research offers opportunities for entrepreneurial ideas. I had applied in 2009 and was shortlisted. As it turned out there was no space for me last year, but this year I was accepted to the programme. It means that I’m flying to the Gold Coast for a two day (all expenses paid) conference at the end of this week! I was also offered a scholarship to complete four courses associated with the programme. I took it on, but after just two weeks realised that it would simply not be possible for me to maintain such a workload. Trying to study law and finance at the same time as I complete my PhD, tutor 200 students, administer a subject, have a fifth baby, and renovate a home is simply foolish. So we waved goodbye to the money but regained a semblance of balance for a brief moment.
In the past four weeks our plans have been in at council awaiting approval. We’ve just received it and are allowed to commence work at our home. Now we’re just awaiting quotes from tradespeople and praying that we’ll be able to afford all the work that we have planned to do! We are excited to begin and hope to see some walls knocked down in the coming fortnight.
Kylie is now only 34 days away from the expected delivery date (April 18th). We are excited but very nervous. Fatigue and discomfort are our enemies and Kylie’s ability to do what our family requires of her is greatly diminished. As a result I am trying to do more but with less time and capacity than I would like due to my increased load at uni. It’s a challenging time. With the busy-ness we are feeling increasingly depleted, and it’s starting to rub off in family life. The children seem to be sensing that we are tired and try to get out of responsibilities. Their attitude and lack of contribution only add to the workload we carry. When Kylie has the baby I will take a couple of weeks off work and be around a great deal more. We are looking forward to the extra focus we’ll have at home during this period and anticipate greater order.
We have been trying to have a weekly date. Our success has been haphazard at best. But we continue to try. We love being together, perhaps more than anything else. Kylie is my favourite person to be with. Last week we ate Chickos for lunch in the park. I love Chickos. But the week before was amazing – prawn and mushroom fettucine. Yum! No date this week because I’m off to the Gold Coast, but I’m sure next week will work out fine.
Last Saturday I rode in a 12 hour endurance race. I was in a mixed team of four riders. It was held at Penrith and was a great day out, although I felt more than a little guilty for leaving my family behind. I was pleased when our team won the NSW championship Gold Medal for riding further than any other mixed team on the day – a distance of around 430kms in the allotted time.
A brief review of what the children are up to, and then I’m off to bed.
Chanel is thriving in all aspects. She loves her school, has many friends, and is doing well with her swimming and cycling. We would dearly love to introduce her to the piano. Her interest is high. But student budgets will only go so far. She certainly produces significantly challenging “attitude” at times, but for the most part Chanel is an amazing little contributor in our home. She works with Kylie or I every day at the cleaning contact we’ve taken on to help keep things going. (Centrelink have made two years worth of errors in our payments and over-payed us approximately $200 p/w. We’ve now lost that money and use the contract work to make up for what we no longer receive). This is helping her save her money very well. She’s growing into an articulate girl.
Abbie is improving all the time with her swimming and recently went up one more class level. She is developing beautifully with her piano work and loves tinkling the keys. Her teacher is pleased with her progress. Abbie is our little angel in so many ways. She has a stubborn streak though, and can be particularly difficult, if not impossible, to get moving in the mornings. She simply drifts off into her fairyland and forgets that we have a household to run!
Ella… I was reading over some past entries I’ve made with reference to Ella and it’s amazing how nothing really changes. This is the cutest little 6 year-old girl with the wickedest sense of humour. She genuinely charms and delights everyone around her with her unique take on things and her disarming character. Yet she has such boundless energy and such a free spirit that we can hardly keep tabs on her. She’s constantly sneaking out of the house to visit friends in the neighbourhood. She refuses to walk to school with her sisters, preferring to be independent (after all, she’s been in kindergarten for 6 weeks now!) Ella hates going to sleep and demands attention for long periods each night. Yet we look at her and smile with satisfaction and love as we consider her special soft heart, her desire to make good choices, and the fact that she is genuinely guileless. Ella is such a special child to us.
Annie seems to have declared war on Kylie and I. As with most children at around 30 months, Annie must have what Annie wants. That means three things – hard work for us, lots of flexibility, and seemingly endless screaming. We are doing what we can for her, but our angelic Annie has been doing all she can to assert herself as no longer being a baby. Yet Annie is beautifully affectionate, loves cuddles, must say EVERY prayer, and still delights us daily – even hourly.
We sweat and strain and stress over our children. We agonise over our choices. We know we make mistakes, and we know we get things right as well. We wonder, like most parents, if we really make a difference. We chastise and correct, we reprimand and rejoice. We read, clean, pick up, iron, wash, pick up, help, drive them, spend money on them, pick up, and so much more. We tire ourselves out in their service. We wish we could take back so many moments where our choices were not what we would have liked them to be. But regardless, we keep trying, and we will keep on trying – because we love them. We take such joy in seeing them grow. They matter most.
Tonight we taught a class to around ten young single adults, and older singles as well. We taught about standards, dating, and the law of chastity. We used Listerine and fruit juice to demonstrate that things should be done in the right order. The fruit juice first tasted sweet, and fresh on the palate. The Listerine followed and everything worked fine. But when we had a volunteer have the Listerine first, then the fruit juice the experience was less pleasant. It was an effective object lesson. We love teaching Gospel principles, and the people in the class seemed to appreciate our efforts and hopefully left feeling enriched.
My five minute update has gone on much longer than I anticipated, and I have completely overdone it. Must rest. So tired.
Sunday, 14 February 2010
Positive Psychology Conference Blessings
Sunday 14th February, 2010
I am savouring a week of blessings and joy, as exhaustion slowly absorbs me. The past seven days have been nothing short of exceptional.
Monday was a relatively ordinary day, beginning with a 90km ride in the rain. I spent the day at uni preparing a presentation due to be presented on Friday. Our Family Home Evening on Monday night was simple, short, and not memorable.
Tuesday I rode a hard 50km before uni. Final presentation preparations were made. A long lunch was attended celebrating a fellow PhD students’ completion of her thesis. It was costly, too long, but enjoyable. The afternoon was spent playing mechanic with my bike after all the riding in the rain. Then I raced home to race out to Young Mens. The boys had their first learn-to-surf lesson with me as teacher. To say they were a spectacular failure would not put too fine a point on it. But I always maintain that anyone who is, today, good at something, was once poor at it. My encouragement may have fallen on deaf ears though. None of our young men share my love of the ocean. The evening was one of the most beautiful nights I can recall. I wished that Kylie and the children were there. Warm water, perfect sky, stunning sunset.
Wednesday I rode with my friends until lunch time (around 80kms) before returning to work. After a few hours I decided enough was enough. My presentation could be refined no more without me going batty! So I worked briefly on my next project, and then called it quits. We picked the children up from school and went to the beach. Chanel, Ella, and Abbie caught waves on their boogie boards for two hours. The delight they experienced catching waves and the delight Kylie and I felt as we watched them were beyond words. We ate Chickos for dinner, despite the negative impact it has on our budget. We were too tired out from too much fun at the beach.
Thursday morning I rode 60kms and arrived home in time to take the children to school. The architect came and reviewed the renovation plans with us. We are excited to start changing things! Our plans go to council in the coming fortnight. I packed my bags, ate lunch, and Kylie and Annie drove me to the airport for my flight to Melbourne. Because my little sister Rachel lives in Melbourne, we met and ate Mexican for dinner – too much Mexican! I don’t remember being so full, ever!
Friday morning I went for a short 45km ride before attending day one of the 2nd Australian Positive Psychology and Wellbeing Conference. While I gleaned a few gems, I was generally disappointed with the first day. It lacked scientific rigour, was too focussed on “happy-ology” and failed to satisfy. In spite of this, there were three specific highlights that made the trip to Melbourne completely worthwhile!
First, following the morning’s proceedings I came across Professor Christopher Petersen. The man is arguably the second biggest name in the positive psychology area. Put simply, he is top dog, or close to it. I introduced myself and politely indicated that I have a deep concern with the focus positive psychology puts on the individual, the workplace, the classroom, and the fact that after over a decade there is still no significant research being done with respect to “families” and what makes for optimal outcomes. He was thoughtful, before agreeing with me and describing some beginnings that he is aware of. I told him of my research and said I would be presenting later that day. He volunteered to attend, and confirmed his genuine interest! And he showed up as promised. I was grateful I was prepared well! The second highlight of day one, for me, was that my presentation was a success and well received. It also reminded me that an academic career is not going to light me up the way a career built on teaching and sharing with others will.
The third highlight of the day was at dinner. A friend from uni (who is also doing a PhD), his friend (an English PhD student), and I sat down to eat and were approached by an older lady, probably in her early 60’s. She asked if she could join us and we happily said yes, not knowing who she was. As she sat down she asked how we felt about the conference. I was upfront. As I completed my negative judgement of the day I saw her nametag. Professor Felicia Huppert is a Cambridge University Professor of Psychology who has done just about everything! And here I am spruiking my critical opinion… to my relief she agreed entirely. She then spent an entire TWO HOURS talking with the three of us in one of the most wonderful, stimulating conversations I have ever had! We talked about research and ideas, issues and concerns. It was riveting. What amazed me in both of the big experiences of the day was the willingness of “big” people to divest themselves of ego and engage and connect with young, inexperienced, and relatively uneducated people like me. Their humility and generosity made my day.
Saturday morning I had one of the hardest rides I can remember. I rode about 80km from Melbourne to Frankston and back with about 150 other riders. I think our average speed was close to 45km/h. The entire ride was done in around 2 hours. I had an additional 20km to do in order to get to Rachel’s apartment and clean up for the conference, so it was another big day on the bike.
Sadly, again, the conference itself disappointed, although it was a definite improvement on day one! Chris Petersen talked with me for around 30 minutes, discussing his thoughts on my project and presentation. It was a privilege to receive that kind of attention from one of the world’s leading minds in my area. We covered some terrific material. I arrived at the airport, courtesy of Rachel again, exhausted and eager to be with my family. Kylie met me at 9pm back in Sydney and we drove through the heat and rain to Wollongong. Clean sheets are a delight and I slept heavily.
While I was in Melbourne Ella completed her second week of school. We are seeing her flourish there. Her development is unmistakable, and her teacher is beautifully supportive. We have so much to be grateful for in Mrs. Morgan. Chanel competed on Friday night and won her racing on the track. And Abbie began to play songs with two hands on the piano in her Saturday morning lesson.
Saturday was the Karis Removals Christmas party – at Jamberoo park, just down the road from us. Mum and dad invited the family and the children had a wonderful time. Unfortunately Kylie slipped and fell and hurt herself. Sunday was not much better and a quick visit to the maternity unit was completed for reassurance that all was well. Only about 9 weeks until our new baby is with us in person! We can’t wait.
Sunday was a treat, despite being completely tired out. Sacrament meeting was a time of reflection. I took Kylie to the hospital during Sunday School class. Then I taught the young men about the eternal importance of families. As we contemplated the prospect of eternal families and the importance of our families in mortality I struggled to hold my emotions in check. The boys and other leaders were visibly moved, and the day ended with deep Spiritual feelings of love.
This afternoon the children have played games together, splashed in puddles in the rain, read books, and been entirely delightful! Our roast dinner is about to be served. And I cannot help but be grateful for remarkable joy, abundance, and grace in my life.
To conclude, some of the random positive and useful thoughts that came from the conference…
“We need to move from a welfare economy to a wellbeing economy”
“We need to move from consuming material goods to non-material goods”
5 ways to wellbeing: Need to connect; Be active; Take notice; Keep learning; Give.
We need to eliminate the competitive model in organisations and education. Cooperate, not compete.
Vision without action is merely a dream, Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.
Songs express who we are and how we feel, they bring us closer to others, they keep us company when we are alone. They articulate our beliefs and values, and they bear witness to our lives. Songs weave tales of our joys and sorrows, they reveal our innermost secrets, and they express our hopes and disappointments, our fears and triumphs. They are our musical diaries, our life stories. They are the sounds of our personal development.
Cruelty in almost every case is related to inattentiveness. If we truly pay attention we are far more likely to be compassionate.
Trying to control an emotion is very different to learning not to let an emotion control you.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves – Einstein.
I am savouring a week of blessings and joy, as exhaustion slowly absorbs me. The past seven days have been nothing short of exceptional.
Monday was a relatively ordinary day, beginning with a 90km ride in the rain. I spent the day at uni preparing a presentation due to be presented on Friday. Our Family Home Evening on Monday night was simple, short, and not memorable.
Tuesday I rode a hard 50km before uni. Final presentation preparations were made. A long lunch was attended celebrating a fellow PhD students’ completion of her thesis. It was costly, too long, but enjoyable. The afternoon was spent playing mechanic with my bike after all the riding in the rain. Then I raced home to race out to Young Mens. The boys had their first learn-to-surf lesson with me as teacher. To say they were a spectacular failure would not put too fine a point on it. But I always maintain that anyone who is, today, good at something, was once poor at it. My encouragement may have fallen on deaf ears though. None of our young men share my love of the ocean. The evening was one of the most beautiful nights I can recall. I wished that Kylie and the children were there. Warm water, perfect sky, stunning sunset.
Wednesday I rode with my friends until lunch time (around 80kms) before returning to work. After a few hours I decided enough was enough. My presentation could be refined no more without me going batty! So I worked briefly on my next project, and then called it quits. We picked the children up from school and went to the beach. Chanel, Ella, and Abbie caught waves on their boogie boards for two hours. The delight they experienced catching waves and the delight Kylie and I felt as we watched them were beyond words. We ate Chickos for dinner, despite the negative impact it has on our budget. We were too tired out from too much fun at the beach.
Thursday morning I rode 60kms and arrived home in time to take the children to school. The architect came and reviewed the renovation plans with us. We are excited to start changing things! Our plans go to council in the coming fortnight. I packed my bags, ate lunch, and Kylie and Annie drove me to the airport for my flight to Melbourne. Because my little sister Rachel lives in Melbourne, we met and ate Mexican for dinner – too much Mexican! I don’t remember being so full, ever!
Friday morning I went for a short 45km ride before attending day one of the 2nd Australian Positive Psychology and Wellbeing Conference. While I gleaned a few gems, I was generally disappointed with the first day. It lacked scientific rigour, was too focussed on “happy-ology” and failed to satisfy. In spite of this, there were three specific highlights that made the trip to Melbourne completely worthwhile!
First, following the morning’s proceedings I came across Professor Christopher Petersen. The man is arguably the second biggest name in the positive psychology area. Put simply, he is top dog, or close to it. I introduced myself and politely indicated that I have a deep concern with the focus positive psychology puts on the individual, the workplace, the classroom, and the fact that after over a decade there is still no significant research being done with respect to “families” and what makes for optimal outcomes. He was thoughtful, before agreeing with me and describing some beginnings that he is aware of. I told him of my research and said I would be presenting later that day. He volunteered to attend, and confirmed his genuine interest! And he showed up as promised. I was grateful I was prepared well! The second highlight of day one, for me, was that my presentation was a success and well received. It also reminded me that an academic career is not going to light me up the way a career built on teaching and sharing with others will.
The third highlight of the day was at dinner. A friend from uni (who is also doing a PhD), his friend (an English PhD student), and I sat down to eat and were approached by an older lady, probably in her early 60’s. She asked if she could join us and we happily said yes, not knowing who she was. As she sat down she asked how we felt about the conference. I was upfront. As I completed my negative judgement of the day I saw her nametag. Professor Felicia Huppert is a Cambridge University Professor of Psychology who has done just about everything! And here I am spruiking my critical opinion… to my relief she agreed entirely. She then spent an entire TWO HOURS talking with the three of us in one of the most wonderful, stimulating conversations I have ever had! We talked about research and ideas, issues and concerns. It was riveting. What amazed me in both of the big experiences of the day was the willingness of “big” people to divest themselves of ego and engage and connect with young, inexperienced, and relatively uneducated people like me. Their humility and generosity made my day.
Saturday morning I had one of the hardest rides I can remember. I rode about 80km from Melbourne to Frankston and back with about 150 other riders. I think our average speed was close to 45km/h. The entire ride was done in around 2 hours. I had an additional 20km to do in order to get to Rachel’s apartment and clean up for the conference, so it was another big day on the bike.
Sadly, again, the conference itself disappointed, although it was a definite improvement on day one! Chris Petersen talked with me for around 30 minutes, discussing his thoughts on my project and presentation. It was a privilege to receive that kind of attention from one of the world’s leading minds in my area. We covered some terrific material. I arrived at the airport, courtesy of Rachel again, exhausted and eager to be with my family. Kylie met me at 9pm back in Sydney and we drove through the heat and rain to Wollongong. Clean sheets are a delight and I slept heavily.
While I was in Melbourne Ella completed her second week of school. We are seeing her flourish there. Her development is unmistakable, and her teacher is beautifully supportive. We have so much to be grateful for in Mrs. Morgan. Chanel competed on Friday night and won her racing on the track. And Abbie began to play songs with two hands on the piano in her Saturday morning lesson.
Saturday was the Karis Removals Christmas party – at Jamberoo park, just down the road from us. Mum and dad invited the family and the children had a wonderful time. Unfortunately Kylie slipped and fell and hurt herself. Sunday was not much better and a quick visit to the maternity unit was completed for reassurance that all was well. Only about 9 weeks until our new baby is with us in person! We can’t wait.
Sunday was a treat, despite being completely tired out. Sacrament meeting was a time of reflection. I took Kylie to the hospital during Sunday School class. Then I taught the young men about the eternal importance of families. As we contemplated the prospect of eternal families and the importance of our families in mortality I struggled to hold my emotions in check. The boys and other leaders were visibly moved, and the day ended with deep Spiritual feelings of love.
This afternoon the children have played games together, splashed in puddles in the rain, read books, and been entirely delightful! Our roast dinner is about to be served. And I cannot help but be grateful for remarkable joy, abundance, and grace in my life.
To conclude, some of the random positive and useful thoughts that came from the conference…
“We need to move from a welfare economy to a wellbeing economy”
“We need to move from consuming material goods to non-material goods”
5 ways to wellbeing: Need to connect; Be active; Take notice; Keep learning; Give.
We need to eliminate the competitive model in organisations and education. Cooperate, not compete.
Vision without action is merely a dream, Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.
Songs express who we are and how we feel, they bring us closer to others, they keep us company when we are alone. They articulate our beliefs and values, and they bear witness to our lives. Songs weave tales of our joys and sorrows, they reveal our innermost secrets, and they express our hopes and disappointments, our fears and triumphs. They are our musical diaries, our life stories. They are the sounds of our personal development.
Cruelty in almost every case is related to inattentiveness. If we truly pay attention we are far more likely to be compassionate.
Trying to control an emotion is very different to learning not to let an emotion control you.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves – Einstein.
Sunday, 7 February 2010
The Little Red Hen, and other stories.
I was just about to begin my report of the past two weeks when Ella dashed down the stairs past me. “Don’t worry Dad, I’m not going to ask you any questions” she panted as she sprinted into the kitchen. No more than five seconds later she raced back past me on her way up the stairs. Pausing, she stared at me and in all sincerity reassured me “I love you Daddy, and I always will.” I don’t think there’s anything better.
While the past fortnight has been extremely busy, it has also been rather dull. My days have consisted of writing a report of my most recent study. Perhaps a brief overview will not be too much of an imposition: I am interested in the concept of people having a “calling” in life, and specifically whether or not people can feel ‘called’ to be parents. I interviewed parents to ask them how they would describe ‘calling’ and what their experiences of calling may be, whether in their own lives or in the lives of others. Previous researchers have only ever examined calling in the vocational context, so this is quite a new idea to be examining it in the parental domain.
My participants’ responses suggest that calling in parenthood can and does exist. The core components they identified were that called parents see the role as a central part of their identity, sense great meaning in the role, sacrifice significantly, have parenting always on their mind, felt and remain drawn to do their best in the role, and are passionate about being parents. These results are consistent with the concept of calling in other roles and seem to be valuable in both research and applied directions. In particular the idea of calling is linked to optimal outcomes in other domains and so we anticipate that more research will yield similar results in family life. This will make this research very useful for practitioners and those who develop interventions for parents in need. Finally some success with my PhD.
The report is essentially finished now, and I hope to submit it in the coming week or two. If I can see it published that will be a significant and positive outcome.
On Australia Day we spent considerable time with Tim and Kesh again. They visited us for Family Home Evening the night previous and we ate Chickos. Lots of it! Then on Tuesday we ventured south to Gerringong where they stayed. We took the children to the beach and swam, before returning to their accommodation for barbequed lamb chops, leftover Chickos, and more.
The following day, Wednesday the 27th Jan, I had a special errand to run for the University. Grant applications were due in Canberra – a 3 hour drive. Several million dollars worth of grants were being applied for by our department and to ensure they arrived safely and on time I was given a hire car and paid to drive to Canberra and back to deliver them. I took three small passengers with me: Chanel, Abbie, and Ella. We met our friends, the Thayer family, and visited Questacon – the National Science Centre – for the day! Given that it was the last day of NSW school holidays the place was almost empty. The children barely had to line up for anything, and played for hours. It was a wonderful treat.
Chanel and Abbie started school on Thursday. Chanel is now a Grade 5 girl while Abbie moved into Grade 2. They have had a stellar start to the school year and things are going very well for them.
Friday night was a superb night at the velodrome. Chanel had the race of her life, hanging onto the back of the older, faster girls as they raced. She managed to ride further, faster, and longer than ever before and was so overwhelmed by the experience that she burst into tears when she finally stopped after the race. She was ecstatic about her effort and loved telling everyone how hard she had worked.
Saturday we enjoyed time in the pool during the morning. I had a bike race during the afternoon, called cyclocross. It’s a race over all kinds of terrain and obstacles requiring the riders to dismount, carry their bikes on their shoulders, and essentially ride their hearts out. We had a tremendous time. I finished 8th in a field of just under 20 riders, which I was pleased with given that I don’t have the type of bike-handling skills and experience many of the other riders had. It was a hard race. That night my legs were so sore I could barely climb the stairs to bed. Exhaustion!
Sunday was quiet at church. It is such an important part of my week and I love being there. We had Verna and her two daughters over for a pancake and ice-cream lunch. Sweet, sticky, and completely, delectably, delicious.
Monday Feb 1 was Ella’s first day of kindergarten. Our 3rd daughter is now at big school! We were extremely nervous. Ella has always required a lot of her teachers and has obviously had some special needs over the years. To say that this week has been successful for Ella is to understate just how wonderful it really has been! Ella loves school. She loves her teachers. She is developing friendships. We are so grateful that the transition to school has been so successful.
Abbie recommenced piano lessons this week and is delighted to be back there. We are hopeful that her progress will be exciting to watch over the year. And Chanel swam in her swimming carnival for school on Friday. She enjoyed her day and swam well, winning the 50m butterfly and breaststroke for her age, as well as placing second in the 50m backstroke and freestyle. In addition she placed third in the 100m freestyle, which was also against girls a year older than her. As if that is not enough, she will also represent her school at the district swimming carnival in all four of the 50m events and the 200m individual medley. Chanel is feeling pretty good about her efforts.
Saturday I went for an early bike ride, leaving home shortly before 5.30am. It was wet, windy, and pouring rain at various times, but I still snuck in around 110kms AND returned home 20 minutes early. What a guy! My daddy-daughter date was with Abbie. We visited the RSPCA to find a pet puppy but there were none available. Then we visited the Wollongong Science Centre (part of the deal when we bought our annual pass to Questacon). It was such a treat. Lots of fun.
Saturday night brought with it the highlight of the week though I think. Not only did we have one of my favourite meals for dinner – wraps – but we were treated to a puppet show by Abbie and Ella. They hid behind the lounge and held the puppets up above the top. They then re-enacted the story of the Little Red Hen from memory. I didn’t even know they knew it! They giggled infectiously and soon our whole family was laughing out loud with delight. And they told the whole story! It was the best puppet show I’ve ever seen in our family. Then the children put on their favourite CD of kids songs and danced and jumped around the lounge room with complete and absolute vigour. It was such a treat to watch and laugh with them.
Sunday was testimony meeting. It was a refreshingly good meeting, perhaps as much because of who didn’t speak as who did. With only five minutes to go our Stake President rose and commenced his “testimony”. It lasted approximately 20 minutes. After around 15 minutes Chanel looked up at me and asked, “Is he going to talk about everything?” It was very funny, but hard to sit through. By that time the children throughout the chapel knew it was beyond our regular meeting time, and were eager to be out the door. So his testimony really pushed a few buttons. But he is a good man, and had an important message. The afternoon was restful. I accidentally fell asleep for nearly three hours. Yikes. I knew I was tired, but did not expect that!
So now dinner is about to be eaten. Steak with chilli and basil – YUM! The children are happily ensconced in their activities and are anxiously awaiting another chapter or two of Enid Blyton’s “Enchanted Wood.” Our family is blessed beyond all deserving, and we are deeply grateful.
While the past fortnight has been extremely busy, it has also been rather dull. My days have consisted of writing a report of my most recent study. Perhaps a brief overview will not be too much of an imposition: I am interested in the concept of people having a “calling” in life, and specifically whether or not people can feel ‘called’ to be parents. I interviewed parents to ask them how they would describe ‘calling’ and what their experiences of calling may be, whether in their own lives or in the lives of others. Previous researchers have only ever examined calling in the vocational context, so this is quite a new idea to be examining it in the parental domain.
My participants’ responses suggest that calling in parenthood can and does exist. The core components they identified were that called parents see the role as a central part of their identity, sense great meaning in the role, sacrifice significantly, have parenting always on their mind, felt and remain drawn to do their best in the role, and are passionate about being parents. These results are consistent with the concept of calling in other roles and seem to be valuable in both research and applied directions. In particular the idea of calling is linked to optimal outcomes in other domains and so we anticipate that more research will yield similar results in family life. This will make this research very useful for practitioners and those who develop interventions for parents in need. Finally some success with my PhD.
The report is essentially finished now, and I hope to submit it in the coming week or two. If I can see it published that will be a significant and positive outcome.
On Australia Day we spent considerable time with Tim and Kesh again. They visited us for Family Home Evening the night previous and we ate Chickos. Lots of it! Then on Tuesday we ventured south to Gerringong where they stayed. We took the children to the beach and swam, before returning to their accommodation for barbequed lamb chops, leftover Chickos, and more.
The following day, Wednesday the 27th Jan, I had a special errand to run for the University. Grant applications were due in Canberra – a 3 hour drive. Several million dollars worth of grants were being applied for by our department and to ensure they arrived safely and on time I was given a hire car and paid to drive to Canberra and back to deliver them. I took three small passengers with me: Chanel, Abbie, and Ella. We met our friends, the Thayer family, and visited Questacon – the National Science Centre – for the day! Given that it was the last day of NSW school holidays the place was almost empty. The children barely had to line up for anything, and played for hours. It was a wonderful treat.
Chanel and Abbie started school on Thursday. Chanel is now a Grade 5 girl while Abbie moved into Grade 2. They have had a stellar start to the school year and things are going very well for them.
Friday night was a superb night at the velodrome. Chanel had the race of her life, hanging onto the back of the older, faster girls as they raced. She managed to ride further, faster, and longer than ever before and was so overwhelmed by the experience that she burst into tears when she finally stopped after the race. She was ecstatic about her effort and loved telling everyone how hard she had worked.
Saturday we enjoyed time in the pool during the morning. I had a bike race during the afternoon, called cyclocross. It’s a race over all kinds of terrain and obstacles requiring the riders to dismount, carry their bikes on their shoulders, and essentially ride their hearts out. We had a tremendous time. I finished 8th in a field of just under 20 riders, which I was pleased with given that I don’t have the type of bike-handling skills and experience many of the other riders had. It was a hard race. That night my legs were so sore I could barely climb the stairs to bed. Exhaustion!
Sunday was quiet at church. It is such an important part of my week and I love being there. We had Verna and her two daughters over for a pancake and ice-cream lunch. Sweet, sticky, and completely, delectably, delicious.
Monday Feb 1 was Ella’s first day of kindergarten. Our 3rd daughter is now at big school! We were extremely nervous. Ella has always required a lot of her teachers and has obviously had some special needs over the years. To say that this week has been successful for Ella is to understate just how wonderful it really has been! Ella loves school. She loves her teachers. She is developing friendships. We are so grateful that the transition to school has been so successful.
Abbie recommenced piano lessons this week and is delighted to be back there. We are hopeful that her progress will be exciting to watch over the year. And Chanel swam in her swimming carnival for school on Friday. She enjoyed her day and swam well, winning the 50m butterfly and breaststroke for her age, as well as placing second in the 50m backstroke and freestyle. In addition she placed third in the 100m freestyle, which was also against girls a year older than her. As if that is not enough, she will also represent her school at the district swimming carnival in all four of the 50m events and the 200m individual medley. Chanel is feeling pretty good about her efforts.
Saturday I went for an early bike ride, leaving home shortly before 5.30am. It was wet, windy, and pouring rain at various times, but I still snuck in around 110kms AND returned home 20 minutes early. What a guy! My daddy-daughter date was with Abbie. We visited the RSPCA to find a pet puppy but there were none available. Then we visited the Wollongong Science Centre (part of the deal when we bought our annual pass to Questacon). It was such a treat. Lots of fun.
Saturday night brought with it the highlight of the week though I think. Not only did we have one of my favourite meals for dinner – wraps – but we were treated to a puppet show by Abbie and Ella. They hid behind the lounge and held the puppets up above the top. They then re-enacted the story of the Little Red Hen from memory. I didn’t even know they knew it! They giggled infectiously and soon our whole family was laughing out loud with delight. And they told the whole story! It was the best puppet show I’ve ever seen in our family. Then the children put on their favourite CD of kids songs and danced and jumped around the lounge room with complete and absolute vigour. It was such a treat to watch and laugh with them.
Sunday was testimony meeting. It was a refreshingly good meeting, perhaps as much because of who didn’t speak as who did. With only five minutes to go our Stake President rose and commenced his “testimony”. It lasted approximately 20 minutes. After around 15 minutes Chanel looked up at me and asked, “Is he going to talk about everything?” It was very funny, but hard to sit through. By that time the children throughout the chapel knew it was beyond our regular meeting time, and were eager to be out the door. So his testimony really pushed a few buttons. But he is a good man, and had an important message. The afternoon was restful. I accidentally fell asleep for nearly three hours. Yikes. I knew I was tired, but did not expect that!
So now dinner is about to be eaten. Steak with chilli and basil – YUM! The children are happily ensconced in their activities and are anxiously awaiting another chapter or two of Enid Blyton’s “Enchanted Wood.” Our family is blessed beyond all deserving, and we are deeply grateful.
Sunday, 24 January 2010
Progress
Two weeks condensed into one entry today. I didn’t write last week as it was so uneventful. On Monday the 11th of Jan (2 weeks ago) Kylie’s sister, Adele, and their family of five packed up and left after a little over a week with us. They only stayed two days longer than Kylie’s parents, but it was still great to have them stay with us. We had a full house – and some very tired and restless children – but it was a terrific week and a delight to spend time with Kylie’s family. I’m actually starting to like them (haha…).
The remainder of the week we pretty much settled back into a fairly quiet routine. The children played with friends and spent time in the pool. I began to put in some longer hours at uni again.
A highlight of the working week was meeting with my supervisors. I have been consistently frustrated with a lack of interaction and direction from my primary supervisor. In our meeting I expressed the following: this is the final year of my PhD; I intend to complete this year; it’s in all of our interests for me to be successfully concluded before Christmas; I need from him genuine and clear action items on a weekly basis with follow up; and from now on, weekly meetings please (to keep me accountable and working hard). The response… “Ok”. That tells me one thing: 2010 GAME ON! I am very motivated and have heaps of work to do as a result of this meeting and my 2010 goal to complete my PhD and be called Dr. Coulson by Christmas.
On the weekend we took the children to a beautiful beach south of Shellharbour called Killalea. Spectacular scenery, and a perfect (albeit windy) afternoon. We played in the surf for hours, with the children catching countless waves on their boogie boards. They were delighted. Kylie was on the sand with Annie, perhaps a little uncomfortable, but willing to go through it because of the joy the children experienced. Wonderful!
Kylie has had increasing difficulties with veins in her legs as we enter the third trimester of pregnancy number five. She is now wearing compression stockings and has been ordered to stay off her feet where possible. The stockings are hot, thick, and white; hardly summer apparel. But we have a pool and are making the most of it to make Kylie more comfortable.
Chanel flew back into Sydney on Friday after a wonderful week in Brisbane. She’s becoming quite the frequent flyer and deals with it quite well. Her time in Brisbane was spent at Wet ‘n Wild and Sea World Theme Parks, visiting with friends and relatives, and generally being spoilt. And she clearly had a ball!
Saturday and Sunday we also enjoyed lengthy visits from Tim and his new wife, Kesh. It was terrific to spend time with them. Marriage has already made a definite impact on Tim, his temperament, and his desire to be around us. We really really enjoyed their company and hope we get to see more of them!
Annie seems to have decided that church is too hard to sit through. She consistently expresses a need to visit the ladies room throughout the meeting, and we have to believe her because it would not be pretty if we didn’t give her the benefit of the doubt. Thus church has become less than uplifting for me as I typically make at least four or five trips outside with her.
Monday of this week we waved goodbye to Abbie as she went to Canberra for some time with the Thayer family. Abbie stayed with her best friend, Elissa, after mum dropped her off down there. (Mum had some Especially For Youth workshops to teach). I fasted Monday in preparation for my first (and hopefully last) colonoscopy.
Tuesday I went into the hospital. My experience there was uncomfortable and I hope not to require another visit like that. The doctor confirmed what I already knew – everything’s fine. I’ve had to teach myself how to keep it that way, but have things under control now.
Wednesday I was back at work, and the Thayer family arrived to stay a few days. The week remained quite busy with my work schedule, so I spent Thursday and Friday ensconced in the air-conditioned cool of my office working hard on new projects thanks to a freshly invigorated and focused supervisor. Meanwhile the children played with the Thayer family and utilised the pool and the spectacular beaches we have. It was a great week for the family.
Friday night was something of a revelation for me. I received an email from Church offices in Sydney inviting me to participate in a major charity ride from Melbourne to Sydney with many politicians and other "opinion leaders". It is scheduled for April in the week preceding our new baby’s birth. I immediately began planning how I could participate despite the inevitable clash of priorities. Frantic phone calls were made to Kylie’s mum and sister to check their availability in aiding us for babysitting. Then I went to watch the racing at the velodrome. (I didn’t race as the 40 degree night previous had meant I didn’t sleep… too tired to race). I mentioned the ride to some friends. They indicated that my priorities needed adjusting. I spent some time alone, contemplating. They were right. I asked myself “How did I get to this?” before finally returning home to Kylie and apologising. I’m not going to Melbourne for the ride in April. It was hard to pull out, but it feels good to have made the right choice.
Saturday I was still struggling with tiredness. Sluggish after late hot nights. I spent time in the morning playing in the pool with the children. Then watched a live stage of the Tour Down Under at a friend’s house. Tidied the yard with my new mower (second hand from Dad), and ate good food with the family. Collapsed, exhausted at 10pm.
Sunday turned out to be a real highlight of the week. We woke late and stumbled into church just in time. The children were almost perfect during the sacrament meeting which was a pleasant surprise. I taught the Young Men about having the Holy Ghost with us today in priesthood meeting. It was a wonderful experience and everyone enjoyed it so much we actually went about fifteen minutes over time. The boys stayed without complaining and even participated! After a brief discussion of the doctrine three questions guided our conversation… How can I recognise the promptings of the Spirit?, What can keep me from receiving promptings? And when have I been warned, prompted, or inspired by the Spirit? There was enough to fill an afternoon rather than 30 minutes!
The afternoon was spent eating pancakes, writing letters to good friends serving missions, and then playing in the park around the corner. We arrived home in time to eat a delicious dinner with Tim and Kesh. They popped in for another visit before spending time in Gerringong. As I reflect on the week I’m delighted with the progress, decisions, and wonderful times that have blessed my life and our family.
The remainder of the week we pretty much settled back into a fairly quiet routine. The children played with friends and spent time in the pool. I began to put in some longer hours at uni again.
A highlight of the working week was meeting with my supervisors. I have been consistently frustrated with a lack of interaction and direction from my primary supervisor. In our meeting I expressed the following: this is the final year of my PhD; I intend to complete this year; it’s in all of our interests for me to be successfully concluded before Christmas; I need from him genuine and clear action items on a weekly basis with follow up; and from now on, weekly meetings please (to keep me accountable and working hard). The response… “Ok”. That tells me one thing: 2010 GAME ON! I am very motivated and have heaps of work to do as a result of this meeting and my 2010 goal to complete my PhD and be called Dr. Coulson by Christmas.
On the weekend we took the children to a beautiful beach south of Shellharbour called Killalea. Spectacular scenery, and a perfect (albeit windy) afternoon. We played in the surf for hours, with the children catching countless waves on their boogie boards. They were delighted. Kylie was on the sand with Annie, perhaps a little uncomfortable, but willing to go through it because of the joy the children experienced. Wonderful!
Kylie has had increasing difficulties with veins in her legs as we enter the third trimester of pregnancy number five. She is now wearing compression stockings and has been ordered to stay off her feet where possible. The stockings are hot, thick, and white; hardly summer apparel. But we have a pool and are making the most of it to make Kylie more comfortable.
Chanel flew back into Sydney on Friday after a wonderful week in Brisbane. She’s becoming quite the frequent flyer and deals with it quite well. Her time in Brisbane was spent at Wet ‘n Wild and Sea World Theme Parks, visiting with friends and relatives, and generally being spoilt. And she clearly had a ball!
Saturday and Sunday we also enjoyed lengthy visits from Tim and his new wife, Kesh. It was terrific to spend time with them. Marriage has already made a definite impact on Tim, his temperament, and his desire to be around us. We really really enjoyed their company and hope we get to see more of them!
Annie seems to have decided that church is too hard to sit through. She consistently expresses a need to visit the ladies room throughout the meeting, and we have to believe her because it would not be pretty if we didn’t give her the benefit of the doubt. Thus church has become less than uplifting for me as I typically make at least four or five trips outside with her.
Monday of this week we waved goodbye to Abbie as she went to Canberra for some time with the Thayer family. Abbie stayed with her best friend, Elissa, after mum dropped her off down there. (Mum had some Especially For Youth workshops to teach). I fasted Monday in preparation for my first (and hopefully last) colonoscopy.
Tuesday I went into the hospital. My experience there was uncomfortable and I hope not to require another visit like that. The doctor confirmed what I already knew – everything’s fine. I’ve had to teach myself how to keep it that way, but have things under control now.
Wednesday I was back at work, and the Thayer family arrived to stay a few days. The week remained quite busy with my work schedule, so I spent Thursday and Friday ensconced in the air-conditioned cool of my office working hard on new projects thanks to a freshly invigorated and focused supervisor. Meanwhile the children played with the Thayer family and utilised the pool and the spectacular beaches we have. It was a great week for the family.
Friday night was something of a revelation for me. I received an email from Church offices in Sydney inviting me to participate in a major charity ride from Melbourne to Sydney with many politicians and other "opinion leaders". It is scheduled for April in the week preceding our new baby’s birth. I immediately began planning how I could participate despite the inevitable clash of priorities. Frantic phone calls were made to Kylie’s mum and sister to check their availability in aiding us for babysitting. Then I went to watch the racing at the velodrome. (I didn’t race as the 40 degree night previous had meant I didn’t sleep… too tired to race). I mentioned the ride to some friends. They indicated that my priorities needed adjusting. I spent some time alone, contemplating. They were right. I asked myself “How did I get to this?” before finally returning home to Kylie and apologising. I’m not going to Melbourne for the ride in April. It was hard to pull out, but it feels good to have made the right choice.
Saturday I was still struggling with tiredness. Sluggish after late hot nights. I spent time in the morning playing in the pool with the children. Then watched a live stage of the Tour Down Under at a friend’s house. Tidied the yard with my new mower (second hand from Dad), and ate good food with the family. Collapsed, exhausted at 10pm.
Sunday turned out to be a real highlight of the week. We woke late and stumbled into church just in time. The children were almost perfect during the sacrament meeting which was a pleasant surprise. I taught the Young Men about having the Holy Ghost with us today in priesthood meeting. It was a wonderful experience and everyone enjoyed it so much we actually went about fifteen minutes over time. The boys stayed without complaining and even participated! After a brief discussion of the doctrine three questions guided our conversation… How can I recognise the promptings of the Spirit?, What can keep me from receiving promptings? And when have I been warned, prompted, or inspired by the Spirit? There was enough to fill an afternoon rather than 30 minutes!
The afternoon was spent eating pancakes, writing letters to good friends serving missions, and then playing in the park around the corner. We arrived home in time to eat a delicious dinner with Tim and Kesh. They popped in for another visit before spending time in Gerringong. As I reflect on the week I’m delighted with the progress, decisions, and wonderful times that have blessed my life and our family.
Monday, 11 January 2010
Family Reunion
I realised that in my last update of the past few months I failed to highlight one of the most exciting things that we’ve experienced in our family ever. I spent the best part of 2009 working part time on organising a visit to Australia by one of my favourite LDS singers/performers: Kenneth Cope. In early November he arrived! We had him stay at our house between performances, and spent lots of time with him. For his final two performances we packed out the Macarthur Stake Centre with about 500 people and 800 people. He did such an amazing job, and his performances were inspiring in every way. While there were loads of things I wish we’d done differently, I was so happy to be able to arrange his visit and see it come to fruition. The feedback from the many members who attended was terrific, and I hope to arrange another visit from another artist in the coming year or two.
Now onto more current news… The past week has seen me torn between priorities. Kylie’s parents arrived on Monday to spend the week with us. Her two sisters also came with their husbands and children. This meant a wonderful time with family, along with an extra 6 adults and 4 children in the house. One of Kylie’s sisters stayed with her husband and son at a friend’s house which lessened the bedding requirements, however we were pleased to be able to see them spending time at our home consistently through the week as well.
Monday was, quite simply, a recovery day. Chanel began her week earlier than most. She now swims at 6am each Monday, so that meant an early start to the day. Shortly after we got home from swimming the extended family arrivals commenced. We did very little other than reacquaint ourselves, swim in the pool, eat good food, and rest during the remainder of the day. Kylie’s tortillas were manna from heaven at meal time.
Tuesday I set a new personal best time riding up Macquarie Pass. I rode it in 28 minutes, 30 seconds. It hurt. But it felt great. I took more than one minute off my previous best time. Kylie took her sisters and mum to Berry for some “girls” time. Chanel went for the ride too and felt very grown up.
Wednesday was the best day of the week! Ella Rose turned 6 and we arranged a party at the beach. We were there early enough to secure a picnic shelter. Mum and Dad brought Jaxson, Paris, Phoenix, and Logan down (as well as a giant ham that we’ll be eating for the next two months!), and Tim and Kesh joined us as well. We ate good food, swam in the ocean, played in the sand, and had a wonderful morning with family and friends. Ella was at her best, delighted by the thoughtful gifts she received, and thrilled by the kind attention showered on her. We finally dragged ourselves away from the beach two hours later than we’d planned, sandy, sun-kissed, and sleepy.
Thursday I had to return to work. Too many things have been piling up and deadlines are getting closer. This means I had to leave the family to enjoy their activities without me. I was disappointed, and struggled for motivation, but got a good start on the long list of things to complete. Kylie and the rest of the troops caught the train to Kiama. It was a big adventure for the kids, and despite some tired toddlers, they all seemed to thoroughly enjoy being in such a wonderful place. That evening we enjoyed long conversations together. It felt good.
Friday I convinced Kylie’s sister Adele, and her husband Ystyn, to stay for a few more days (without needing to try to hard). They had planned on returning to Brisbane Friday night. But sights needed to be seen on the weekend and they were happy to stay a little longer. I worked at uni again, the children played, and everyone else relaxed as much as possible. Friday night track racing was on, and Chanel and I gave it our very best! I love riding my bike. The extended family thought velodrome racing was brilliant.
Saturday saw us ditching all plans for sightseeing. Instead we stayed home, swam in the pool, ate, and relaxed. Kylie’s parents commenced their 14 hour drive home around lunch time. Chanel went with them to spend a week holidaying with friends and family in sunny QLD. We already miss our baby girl so much!
Sunday was quiet too. Church in the morning was a personal highlight for me. The sacrament brought a peace that was refreshing and renewing. Everyone left church after the first hour except Abbie and I. Lots of tired children do not a happy Sunday School make! We enjoyed being together all afternoon before a superb BBQ dinner and a drive to the beach. We walked and played for a couple of hours before we returned home at 9pm, exhausted, but deeply satisfied.
Now onto more current news… The past week has seen me torn between priorities. Kylie’s parents arrived on Monday to spend the week with us. Her two sisters also came with their husbands and children. This meant a wonderful time with family, along with an extra 6 adults and 4 children in the house. One of Kylie’s sisters stayed with her husband and son at a friend’s house which lessened the bedding requirements, however we were pleased to be able to see them spending time at our home consistently through the week as well.
Monday was, quite simply, a recovery day. Chanel began her week earlier than most. She now swims at 6am each Monday, so that meant an early start to the day. Shortly after we got home from swimming the extended family arrivals commenced. We did very little other than reacquaint ourselves, swim in the pool, eat good food, and rest during the remainder of the day. Kylie’s tortillas were manna from heaven at meal time.
Tuesday I set a new personal best time riding up Macquarie Pass. I rode it in 28 minutes, 30 seconds. It hurt. But it felt great. I took more than one minute off my previous best time. Kylie took her sisters and mum to Berry for some “girls” time. Chanel went for the ride too and felt very grown up.
Wednesday was the best day of the week! Ella Rose turned 6 and we arranged a party at the beach. We were there early enough to secure a picnic shelter. Mum and Dad brought Jaxson, Paris, Phoenix, and Logan down (as well as a giant ham that we’ll be eating for the next two months!), and Tim and Kesh joined us as well. We ate good food, swam in the ocean, played in the sand, and had a wonderful morning with family and friends. Ella was at her best, delighted by the thoughtful gifts she received, and thrilled by the kind attention showered on her. We finally dragged ourselves away from the beach two hours later than we’d planned, sandy, sun-kissed, and sleepy.
Thursday I had to return to work. Too many things have been piling up and deadlines are getting closer. This means I had to leave the family to enjoy their activities without me. I was disappointed, and struggled for motivation, but got a good start on the long list of things to complete. Kylie and the rest of the troops caught the train to Kiama. It was a big adventure for the kids, and despite some tired toddlers, they all seemed to thoroughly enjoy being in such a wonderful place. That evening we enjoyed long conversations together. It felt good.
Friday I convinced Kylie’s sister Adele, and her husband Ystyn, to stay for a few more days (without needing to try to hard). They had planned on returning to Brisbane Friday night. But sights needed to be seen on the weekend and they were happy to stay a little longer. I worked at uni again, the children played, and everyone else relaxed as much as possible. Friday night track racing was on, and Chanel and I gave it our very best! I love riding my bike. The extended family thought velodrome racing was brilliant.
Saturday saw us ditching all plans for sightseeing. Instead we stayed home, swam in the pool, ate, and relaxed. Kylie’s parents commenced their 14 hour drive home around lunch time. Chanel went with them to spend a week holidaying with friends and family in sunny QLD. We already miss our baby girl so much!
Sunday was quiet too. Church in the morning was a personal highlight for me. The sacrament brought a peace that was refreshing and renewing. Everyone left church after the first hour except Abbie and I. Lots of tired children do not a happy Sunday School make! We enjoyed being together all afternoon before a superb BBQ dinner and a drive to the beach. We walked and played for a couple of hours before we returned home at 9pm, exhausted, but deeply satisfied.
Monday, 4 January 2010
Tim's Wedding
This is a link to a slideshow to the wedding of my little brother, Tim, and his wife Kesh.
The pics are genuinely some of the best I've seen. Looks like something out of some high end magazine.
Next time I'm in Brisbane I'm going to have saved enough to have this photographer do a shoot for my family.
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